Kids don't like my new boyfriend

[Anonymous]

Is it a desk breaker if your kids don't like your new boyfriend after the first meeting?

[Anonymous]

I may get flamed, but I think your kids always need to come first in this regard. You may want to require that your kids give the person you are dating a fair chance for a bit, but if they really don't like him, or if they aren't ready to have another adult join their family, I don't think you should continue seeing him.

[Anonymous]

I agree.

Also consider that kids are very intuitive. They might see something in him that you don't want to see.

[Anonymous]

Is this a real question? Your poor kids

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I may get flamed, but I think your kids always need to come first in this regard. You may want to require that your kids give the person you are dating a fair chance for a bit, but if they really don't like him, or if they aren't ready to have another adult join their family, I don't think you should continue seeing him.

You've given excellent advice here, and I wish more single parents thought this way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is this a real question? Your poor kids

Why her 'poor kids'? The kids may just need time. I don't know what the situation is with their bio father, but they may feel like they are betraying them
if they support your dating a new man. Give it time, ask your kids questions, and really listen to what they say.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is this a real question? Your poor kids

Why her 'poor kids'? The kids may just need time. I don't know what the situation is with their bio father, but they may feel like they are betraying them
if they support your dating a new man. Give it time, ask your kids questi
ons, and really listen to what they say.

She asked if it was a DEAL BREAKER! Why would you even have to ask? Your kids come first.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is this a real question? Your poor kids

Why her 'poor kids'? The kids may just need time. I don't know what the situation is with their bio father, but they may feel like they are betraying them
if they support your dating a new man. Give it time, ask your kids questions, and really listen to what they say.

This. You should absolutely listen to your kids, but it isn't realistic that ALL kids are going to warm up to a new boyfriend right away - and this may or may not have anything to do with the boyfriend.

[Anonymous]

How old are your kids OP?

[Anonymous]

Why are you bringing a "new" boyfriend around your kids?

No reason to have them meet someone you just started dating.

[Anonymous]

Yes

[Anonymous]

How old are they?
Have they liked other boyfriends?
Did they have any specific reasons for why they don't like him?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is this a real question? Your poor kids

Why her 'poor kids'? The kids may just need time. I don't know what the situation is with their bio father, but they may feel like they are betraying them
if they support your dating a new man. Give it time, ask your kids questi
ons, and really listen to what they say.

She asked if it was a DEAL BREAKER! Why would you even have to ask? Your kids come first.

The kids SHOULD come first, but that's not what's happening for a lot of kids in today's world. They're expected to "adjust" and "move on" and get used to a succession of boyfriends and girlfriends (plus any kids that those people bring to the equation) in their lives. Many parents do provide private therapy and family counseling to get through these changes, but many don't. The emotional toll can be rough and is seen at school on a frequent basis.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I may get flamed, but I think your kids always need to come first in this regard. You may want to require that your kids give the person you are dating a fair chance for a bit, but if they really don't like him, or if they aren't ready to have another adult join their family, I don't think you should continue seeing him.

+1

[Anonymous]

Can't answer until I know a few things:
How old are your kids?
Why are you single--divorce? Widowed?
How long have you been dating before kids met him?