A dreaded holiday dliemma need your input!
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Anonymous
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Sister lives out of state, almost every year they come along with my parents for Christmas. She is very type A, we are close but I know when i need a break from her as much as I adore her. She has 4 kids and we are more than happy to host all of them, though its A LOT of work! This year we have also 3 more people also coming (aunt uncle and child)...so its going to be a very full house. We have a large home but in addition to all the guests, we are a family of 6, so its going to be a lot of people. They have a dog who like everyone else, they love. We had gotten into an argument years ago when they just assumed they could bring him here for a visit. My husband was livid. Hes a big dog on top of that. We have many antiques in our home and it is not a conducive home to other peoples pets.We have an older very mellow dog who only stays in the kitchen/family room.
I was very taken aback when my mom told me she was confirming that sister had made boarding arrangements for the dog and my sister reacted indignantly like how dare my mother imply she not bring her do to our house for 4 days for Christmas!!!! She told my mom that she IS bringing him!!! Iam very upset. Not doing anything yet, trying to collect my thoughts before i overreact. PLEASE give me your honest opinions....am I being difficult or is she overstepping her boundaries?? I mean its 6 of them and they want to come here with their 90 pound lab and are assuming this is OK? My husband who is a neat nut will go nuts if he hears this. PLEASE tell me what you think!! And how would you handle this? I do not want it to erupt into a big argument around the holidays....we love them and look forward to their visit but not their dogs!!! Our dog is 11 and very very mellow and we simply do not need the commotion. Help! |
Anonymous
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definitely overstepping her boundaries. I love dogs, but would never impose a dog, no matter big or small, on a family without fully clearing it with them first...even if they are relatives!
I'd give her a call, say you want to settle it once and for all... you love her, want her and kids and DH to be there, but too much stress with a dog. Be firm, if understanding. But don't change your mind. Otherwise this will come up again and again. |
Anonymous
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Your sister needs to board her dog. I will never understand people who bring their pets to other peoples' houses, particularly when they haven't reached out to the host to ask. And even asking is rude because it puts the host in a really uncomfortable positions.
I would tell your sister "Sis- with the addition of extra family members to this year's celebration, we simply cannot accomodate extra pets in the house. Here is a list of boarding places with great reviews near your house." |
Anonymous
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I have a small well behaved dog who travels with me and comes to relatives homes. I'm very sensitive to the fact that others don't like dogs, but I would never board him. I simply just don't stay with family who doesn't like/allow dogs. I think you'd need to make a choice- sister and dog or no sister for the holidays. Dogs are a part of many people's families and it's pretty cruel IMO to board a dog over Christmas. Besides, children love being with their pets over Christmas.
Is their dog bad? You didn't imply that it was a bad dog and you already own a dog, so how much work could one more dog be? |
Anonymous
| OMG! She is so overlapping her boundaries!! Wrong on every front. Definitely call and be very matter of fact, preface it saying you love her and cant' wait to see them but "just confirming" the dog is staying behind. You sound very polite and diplomatic and she sounds like she wants to bully her way into doing things her way. Put a stop to it now...good luck. |
Anonymous
| She is being very rude and disrespectful. You have every right to tell her no dogs. Do not feel like you need to explain yourself with a housefull of people...you are doing more than your share. |
Anonymous
I can see that you and OP's sister are similar. Fine, don't go to others' homes then but there is no reason that OP should have to have any reason not to want a 90 lb dog in her house. Just doesn't want it there and shouldn't have to justify herself. It's the sister who should feel bad here. By the way, dogs don't care one.bit that it's Xmas. Boarding a dog over the holidays isn't going to hurt its poor little psyche. Anything that lovingly kills and brings me squirrels just doesn't care if they aren't a part of the uuletide spirit! |
Anonymous
+1. Be strong, OP. |
Anonymous
| Totally overstepping boundaries but I understand the sensitivity. Is DH okay with being the bad guy? Can you say that you would love to have the dog (even if you really wouldn't) but the it causes marital issues when they bring the dog. DH is a Type A and for whatever reason the dog puts him on edge. |
Anonymous
So there you go! Problem solved! OP, no way would this fly in my house. No dog, no sister. They can stay in a hotel. |
Anonymous
+1 |
Anonymous
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My sister loves her dogs. They are her "furbabies" and she'd do anything for them. But she would never, ever try to bring them to my home for the holidays. And I love dogs! I even like hers. But it's a huge overstep.
And I think the PP is being a little dramatic about boarding the dog over the holidays. I'll be missing my dog's birthday next year, and I really doubt he knows. I'm sorry, OP, it sounds like a nightmare. I'd invest in baby gates or something and set up a "playroom" for the dogs. Would even toss old blankets/towels in there along with new toys so it's special. 
Or you can put your foot down and say sorry, no dog. |
Anonymous
| For my sister, I would totally bring my dog and not think twice. Different if it wasn't close family. |
Anonymous
| I'm surprised by all these people saying they don't allow dogs. I agree that OP should say no if she doesn't want dogs visiting, but I haven't encountered anyone who didn't want my dog visiting. All of our parents, grandparents and siblings welcome my dog. |
Anonymous
| You need to tell her that she cannot bring the dog. It sounds like she doesn't know your rule. Have you told her she can never bring her dog to your house? It sounds like one time she brought the dog and your husband got upset but you didn't say anything to her about the future. She is welcome to stay at a hotel that allows pets instead of your house if she wants to bring the dog. |