A dreaded holiday dliemma need your input!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a small well behaved dog who travels with me and comes to relatives homes. I'm very sensitive to the fact that others don't like dogs, but I would never board him. I simply just don't stay with family who doesn't like/allow dogs. I think you'd need to make a choice- sister and dog or no sister for the holidays. Dogs are a part of many people's families and it's pretty cruel IMO to board a dog over Christmas. Besides, children love being with their pets over Christmas.

Is their dog bad? You didn't imply that it was a bad dog and you already own a dog, so how much work could one more dog be?

Why? Because dogs just LOVE Christmas so much?

[Anonymous]

Goddamn dog people. I'm much happier with my clean, low maintenance, self-sufficient cats. Your sister is being a jerk, OP. Lay down the law! No dog!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sister lives out of state, almost every year they come along with my parents for Christmas. She is very type A, we are close but I know when i need a break from her as much as I adore her. She has 4 kids and we are more than happy to host all of them, though its A LOT of work! This year we have also 3 more people also coming (aunt uncle and child)...so its going to be a very full house. We have a large home but in addition to all the guests, we are a family of 6, so its going to be a lot of people. They have a dog who like everyone else, they love. We had gotten into an argument years ago when they just assumed they could bring him here for a visit. My husband was livid. Hes a big dog on top of that. We have many antiques in our home and it is not a conducive home to other peoples pets.We have an older very mellow dog who only stays in the kitchen/family room.

I was very taken aback when my mom told me she was confirming that sister had made boarding arrangements for the dog and my sister reacted indignantly like how dare my mother imply she not bring her do to our house for 4 days for Christmas!!!! She told my mom that she IS bringing him!!! Iam very upset. Not doing anything yet, trying to collect my thoughts before i overreact.


PLEASE give me your honest opinions....am I being difficult or is she overstepping her boundaries?? I mean its 6 of them and they want to come here with their 90 pound lab and are assuming this is OK? My husband who is a neat nut will go nuts if he hears this. PLEASE tell me what you think!! And how would you handle this? I do not want it to erupt into a big argument around the holidays....we love them and look forward to their visit but not their dogs!!! Our dog is 11 and very very mellow and we simply do not need the commotion. Help!

ring ring ring

Hello?

"Hi Marla, Larla here. We have to have a talk. I understand that you are planning to bring Rover with you for Christmas. Is that true?"

"Yes, dear."

" I am sorry but that is just not possible this year. It would be too much."

then listen to what she says.

If she says, "I won't come if Rover can't come", then you say, "I am sorry to hear that. We will miss you."

You can suggest a neutral place to have Christmas next year where each family has their own cabin or house or hotel room......and where pets are welcome. You can suggest that she host it next year...........

[Anonymous]

It really depends on the dog, like it depends on the kid

If you and your husband cannot handle this particular one, you need to be upfront with your sister and accept that she might not want to come this year.

My close friends adopted a huge calf-size dog that leaps on people, licks aggressively and barks incessantly. I now HATE going to their house - they have no idea how to train such a difficult. Once the husband tentatively asked if they could come with their dog, and I shut that down immediately. There is a limit!

I would however gladly welcome well-behaved dogs of any size

[Anonymous]

I can't stand the smell of dogs. They will stink up your house and it's quite rude/entitled to think she can just bring a giant dog. As others have said...that is what hotels or kennels are for. I won't eat anything made by people who have dogs in their houses. They pet the dog, lick the bowl, and then offer you the cookies they made. Gross. Also hate how many people treat dogs better than their kids.

[Anonymous]

You are being totally reasonable. A dog is not a person. Stand your ground. Sis can stay in a hotel or skip Christmas.

[Anonymous]

The only time it's reasonable to assume you can bring a pet with you is if it's a service animal. Even then I'd want to check in case of allergies.

Not unreasonable to ask, but you need to clear it with your host.

[Anonymous]

Willing to bet if sister stays at a hotel, she won't want to leave the dog there while she enjoys festivities.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Willing to bet if sister stays at a hotel, she won't want to leave the dog there while she enjoys festivities.

Pretty sure you CAN'T leave dogs unattended in pet friendly hotels.

OP maybe next time you should go to your sister's house for Christmas instead?

[Anonymous]

Yes you can tell her no, in fact you must since your husband is so opposed. Dogs are not kids, if you have one, you must sometimes board it or get a sitter. It's just life as a dog owner.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a small well behaved dog who travels with me and comes to relatives homes. I'm very sensitive to the fact that others don't like dogs, but I would never board him. I simply just don't stay with family who doesn't like/allow dogs. I think you'd need to make a choice- sister and dog or no sister for the holidays. Dogs are a part of many people's families and it's pretty cruel IMO to board a dog over Christmas. Besides, children love being with their pets over Christmas.

Is their dog bad? You didn't imply that it was a bad dog and you already own a dog, so how much work could one more dog be?

You are an idiot. So is the OPs sister.

You don't drag your poor dog around with you like an accessory. They like being home. Really, they aren't people who think "yeah, traveling!". They crave the familiar. Not wanting to use a boarding facility is fine but get a pet sitter. But I am guessing that you and OP sister's fall into the same category - too cheap to pay for it.

I loved my dog. I loved her enough that I didn't want to put her through the stress and anxiety that travel and being in an unfamiliar place can bring so I brought in a pet sitter 3 times a day when we traveled. Was it expensive? Yes it was. But as I said I really loved the dog and considered it part of her care.

[Anonymous]

OP, your husband is already being accomodating by hosting your parents, your sister and her 4 kdis, as well as your aunt, uncle and their kid for the holiday. He has made it clear he does not want your sister's dog there. Back him up on this and tell her no. Your husband deserves to have your support on this; it's not unreasonable at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a small well behaved dog who travels with me and comes to relatives homes. I'm very sensitive to the fact that others don't like dogs, but I would never board him. I simply just don't stay with family who doesn't like/allow dogs. I think you'd need to make a choice- sister and dog or no sister for the holidays. Dogs are a part of many people's families and it's pretty cruel IMO to board a dog over Christmas. Besides, children love being with their pets over Christmas.

Is their dog bad? You didn't imply that it was a bad dog and you already own a dog, so how much work could one more dog be?

You are an idiot. So is the OPs sister.

You don't drag your poor dog around with you like an accessory. They like being home. Really, they aren't people who think "yeah, traveling!". They crave the familiar. Not wanting to use a boarding facility is fine but get a pet sitter. But I am guessing that you and OP sister's fall into the same category - too cheap to pay for it.

I loved my dog. I loved her enough that I didn't want to put her through the stress and anxiety that travel and being in an unfamiliar place can bring so I brought in a pet sitter 3 times a day when we traveled. Was it expensive? Yes it was. But as I said I really loved the dog and considered it part of her care.

I'm not trying to argue here, but my parents and in laws truly enjoy being around my dog. They buy him presents and have a stocking for him. He's not a fashion accessory, just a loved family member. I don't drag him everywhere, just to family members homes when I travel there. The older he gets, the more unbelievably upset he is at being left at home. He hurts himself. I'm going to my parents for a week and a half for Christmas and yes, he's coming. I only leave my dog with a pet sitter for 2 nights at most. He can no longer be kenneled. My dog craves the familiar and it's our family. He's not attached to his home and he loves traveling.

OP I would talk to your sister. I think many people (myself included) assume that if you already have a dog, that you like dogs and welcome them. I'm sure that's what she thinks and isn't trying to be rude.

[Anonymous]

No way would any visitor's dog be welcomed in my house, and thankfully, none of my friends or relatives would be ill-mannered enough to try it.

[Anonymous]

No way I'd host her dog! I'm no dog/pet fan, but you already have your own dog...I'd play upon her animal loving sentiments and explain how with the extra family members + your own dog, it would not be fair to your dog. Right? I don't care how mellow your dog is, all these people staying there have to make him a little nervous.

Stand up to your sisiter! I have a feeling that no one ever dares to defy or argue with your sister! I have a MIL like this...completely blind to the needs and concerns of others and extremely self involved.