wife keeps her name

[Anonymous]

I changed because my maiden name was a reminder of an abusive father. I was already contemplating changing it anyways. My mom went back to her maiden and it wasn’t a big deal as kids.

Legally though our system is set up under the assumption of women changing their name. It is more legal effort for men to change theirs (needing a court order, etc). I don’t care either way what someone else does.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thanks everyone for helping us make the decision to give our baby both of our last names! This thread has been an eye opener.

Jonathan Montgomery Garcia y Robinson-Schwartzkof. The poor kid will refuse to ever write his name when he sits next to Jan Smith.

Or just Jonathan Fernandez O'Brien. Easy peezy, jerk.


PP, my son has my very unusual last name as his middle name. Works out brilliantly, as the rest of his name is fairly common. But now instead of being a dime a dozen, he's one in the world.

So kids with traditional names are worthless? OK, thanks for that gem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thanks everyone for helping us make the decision to give our baby both of our last names! This thread has been an eye opener.

Jonathan Montgomery Garcia y Robinson-Schwartzkof. The poor kid will refuse to ever write his name when he sits next to Jan Smith.

Or just Jonathan Fernandez O'Brien. Easy peezy, jerk.


PP, my son has my very unusual last name as his middle name. Works out brilliantly, as the rest of his name is fairly common. But now instead of being a dime a dozen, he's one in the world.

Oh my God! My wife changed her 3-syllable last name to mine because it’s shorter. I never thought about it. I thought it was love. (sniff) It was writers cramp.

And shorter login names.

[Anonymous]

I don't think about it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thanks everyone for helping us make the decision to give our baby both of our last names! This thread has been an eye opener.

I would feel pity for your husband and children

.. but I know you're single and lonely and lying on the internet though

NP. Cats would be better company than you.

DP LOL Enjoy your cats!

I would if that guy were the last man on Earth. Fortunately, for me I have a terrific husband who isn't a wackadoo MRA-type.

I doubt it, PP. I seriously doubt it

Then again, it's the nature of the internets, so I'm not complaining.

You'll never know for sure; but that's the nature of the internets.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thanks everyone for helping us make the decision to give our baby both of our last names! This thread has been an eye opener.

I would feel pity for your husband and children

.. but I know you're single and lonely and lying on the internet though

NP. Cats would be better company than you.

DP LOL Enjoy your cats![/quote

+1 to enjoy the cats. What does DP mean here?

Cats > men who insist that their wives take their names.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It matters more than most men will admit. The logic of “keeping my father’s last name is more important to me than taking my husband’s last name” is flawed. It might be “common” amongst the 10,000 wealthy entitled anti-men DWs on this site — but is still rare in most of the US and most of the world.

Oh yeah, I always do things because they're popular.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why are women expected to do it a show of commitment to the marriage and family, and love for their husbands? I don't know. Why are men expected to buy a ridiculously expensive engagement ring? I guess some traditions are just worth keeping, am I right, ladies?

No. My ring wasn’t more than our rent which was fine by me as I picked it out.

I didn't want an engagement ring. DH was cool with that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I understand perfectly.
Some traditions, such as those cherished by women, are valid.
Some traditions, such as those cherished by men, are misogynistic and antiquated.

Many women (not any one specific woman but lots and lots of them, maybe even most) actually get a little embarrassed in front of other women if their man doesn't open the car door for them, or get down on one knee to propose, or buy a sufficiently large engagement ring. When they get together, women want to be able to tell other women about the romantic way their man proposed, even if the man makes himself look silly doing it for her. They love it when men publicly demonstrate love and commitment to them. It shows just how devoted they are and how strongly they are invested in the relationship. If a man won't buy a sufficiently large rock, he must not really love her or think she's worth it. Again, not talking about any one woman specifically, just lots and lots of other women out there.

When men embrace the tradition of wives adopting their name as a public show of unity and commitment to the relationship, it's sexist.

Oh really, why are you blaming me for women who are too invested in a guy giving them a special proposal or engagement ring? I never did that and never would.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I say way to stick it to the patriarchy...by keeping the name you got from your father. That will show everyone!

I am sure there are some women who don't change their names to stick it to the patriarchy and who were born with names from their father.

I kept my name because I was used to it and that is all the justification I need.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why are women expected to do it a show of commitment to the marriage and family, and love for their husbands? I don't know. Why are men expected to buy a ridiculously expensive engagement ring? I guess some traditions are just worth keeping, am I right, ladies?

Checkmate

Except that not all of us even want a ridiculously expensive engagement ring. I certainly didn't. What a dumb thing to blow money on.

The cost of the engagement ring is not relevant. The point is, an engagement ring, even a $500 ring, is an antiquated tradition that most women still insist on.

And why is that my fault? Am I the ambassador from the country of women? Somehow I'm responsible for what most women want even though I don't want it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No one wants the woman to keep their name including the children

Yeah, I agree. It's just for the woman, no one else. In cases like this, the parents and in-laws usually are unhappy about it too. Basically no one likes it except the woman and the people whose political/cultural agenda benefits from these decisions.

That's reason enough.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My comment was snarky yes but I really see that as the defining aspect of it being my family vs just a baby daddy.

If the wife doesn't have my name and the kids don't have my name, the who the hell am I?

A person who is married and has children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My comment was snarky yes but I really see that as the defining aspect of it being my family vs just a baby daddy.

If the wife doesn't have my name and the kids don't have my name, the who the hell am I?

The love and devotion of a child transcends mere names.

Cute.. wouldn't help the fact that my kids names would remind me that my wife doesn't respect me as a man and I apparently have no respect for myself either in this scenario

Wow. Okay, I'm sorry to sound mean but that suggests you have real problems with feelings of inadequacy. It makes me worry for you. And I really mean that - I'm not trying to be rude.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thanks everyone for helping us make the decision to give our baby both of our last names! This thread has been an eye opener.

Jonathan Montgomery Garcia y Robinson-Schwartzkof. The poor kid will refuse to ever write his name when he sits next to Jan Smith.

Or just Jonathan Fernandez O'Brien. Easy peezy, jerk.


PP, my son has my very unusual last name as his middle name. Works out brilliantly, as the rest of his name is fairly common. But now instead of being a dime a dozen, he's one in the world.

Oh my God! My wife changed her 3-syllable last name to mine because it’s shorter. I never thought about it. I thought it was love. (sniff) It was writers cramp.

LOL!