Anonymous wrote:9:01
I'm so sorry - please find a doctor or counselor.
Your kids need you! No matter what.
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline
Call 1-800-273-8255
Available 24 hours everyday
I feel compelled to repost this PP's advice. I lost a beautiful friend to suicide when we were 28. She was brilliant - top athlete (varsity tennis) in university, a brilliant coder working on choice projects at the top tech companies until she got recruited by an elite intelligence unit, and at the time of her untimely death, she had a loving boyfriend. She also had a lot of friends who adored her and could have been there for her, had they known... But she also had a mother who had undermined her confidence and rejected her since she was a child. For instance, her mother would refuse to stay home with her when she was sick, despite the fact she had a laid back job as an antiques restoration expert. She also sent her away abroad for school when she was in grade seven, and generally seemed to try to get rid of her every chance she got. My friend was very depressed, as it turned out, but we also found out after her death that the mother advised her to hide it from the world instead of confiding in her close friends who perhaps could have helped. When she committed suicide we were all devastated. We still are. What a loss of life, friendship, love, and good for the world... To this day I am no more over it than when I first heard about it. I can't believe she didn't know how many people cared about her and how many people she could have leaned on, had she been able to trust us.
PLEASE know you are not alone. Look inside you for that little bit of light and hang on to it, let it lead you out of the darkness. Many people are suicidal during a particular period of their life, and it is entirely possible to get better and to live without pain (or with much less pain) again. I know it seems unbearable but please know there is support and that it's going to be ok, eventually.
A great place to start is the prevention line. But if you don't like their advice, or the advice of a professional, keep looking until you find someone or someone(s) you trust and can rely on. I am a complete stranger but rooting for you.
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