Why are youth and high school sports so competitive to get into now?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:While I feel most of the competitiveness is driven by lack of opportunity. Pools, fields, courts etc. Another aspect is that there just aren't all that much else to fill kids time with or to cultivate being physically fit.

When I was a kid growing up in a rural area. There were plenty of chores. Clearing the fields, weeding the gardens, bringing in wood for the fire, splitting wood, and then there were plenty of go run around and play outside.

I mean sure you could have kids do art, science experiments, sniff glue, or something, but these all tend to be sedentary consumptive activities. Let's buy bags and bags of sodium bicarbonate so they can make volcanoes.

Not to ding on art, but just pointing out that for kids in an urban/suburban area there isn't much else.

This reflects a lack of creativity.

I have a kid who plays no team sports. She does ballet (not competition based but fairly rigorous) and she swims noncompetitively (stroke and turn clinics mostly). She has friends through both activities.

As a family we hike and bike and play tennis casually.

If she doesn't have a dance or swim class she will go play at the park on her own or with friends for an hour or two in the evening. Climbing or kicking a ball around or doing basic gymnastic skills. She gets sweaty and tired and comes home tired and ready for a shower and bed.

She also enjoys art and science thought those things occupy different parts of her life. She gets physical exercise every day and eats healthy. She is a healthy weight and has plenty of energy and spends remarkably little time on screens (doesn't really watch much TV and rarely asks for it and has yet to ask for a phone or tablet at age 10).

She tried competitive sports when she was younger and didn't like it. Hated soccer -- she was small for her age cohort and not aggressive and even in K the kids fought for the ball and were competitive and it just wasn't fun for someone who likes taking her time and does not like contact in sports. Basketball was a similar story. She did take tennis and enjoyed it but chose to focus on swimming and ballet. She's actually not bad at it and I could see her going out for a high school team but we aren't sure how competitive they will be. If making a HS team means playing tennis intensely competitively for the next 4 years and hiring private coaches and all that then it won't be worth it to her or us. I could also see her doing cross-country (she won't be fast but she's diligent and could enjoy it) or crew (our HS doesn't have a competitive it's just a club but she likes water sports).

So no you don't have no choice but to sign your kids up for highly competitive sports from a young age and then do travel sports and spend huge amounts of money on them. We currently spend between $180-250 per month on sports and activities for her (on the higher end when she's doing ballet and swim at the same time or if she needs new equipment for anything) plus the cost of family recreational activity. I actually feel really fortuante that we are well off enough to be able to afford that comfortably and also that we only have one kid so we don't have to make a lot of tough choices. But we aren't spending tens of thousands of dollars or killing ourselves in terms of schedules. Our lives are pretty chill.

You absolutely have options. This idea that it's travel sports or fat lazy kids on screens is a false dichotomy.

There is a lot of judgement in this post from someone who would obviously have their precious DD in all the competitive travel sports possible if not for the bolded.

Also, my HS aged son does competitive travel baseball and basketball and we spend around what you’re spending on your daughter’s structured physical activities that don’t count as structured physical activities in your world.

Nope, not at all-- I was silently glad to be able to opt out of travel sports and have zero issue with my kid's lack of competitive athletic spirit.

And my judgment is not if parents who do travel sports or have very competitive kids. It's of parents like the PP who claim that's the only way to keep your kid physically active with a social life. It's not, and if your kid is not into those sports there are lots of other things you can do.

You lack both reading comprehension AND self awareness.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't believe this is even a NOVA issue since it is happening all over America, whether it is California, Texas, Massachusetts, and so on. You have to put your kid in competitive sports at a young age to even have a chance of playing at the high school level. There aren't many rec options once you get to the middle school level, and every school team by then has competitive tryouts. There is no way to pick up a new sport by late elementary or middle school. Kids have to determine their interests at their young age or else it is too late. I don't want to encourage my kids to get into sports because I know it is going to suck for them in the end.

It is especially frustrating when there is basically nothing you get in return for investing so much into youth sports. Most kids will never play in the NCAA, and varsity sports don't matter much for college admissions. I don't know how it is reasonable for any family to invest so much time and money and risking their health for basically nothing.

College scholarships, NIL money is not NOTHING

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't believe this is even a NOVA issue since it is happening all over America, whether it is California, Texas, Massachusetts, and so on. You have to put your kid in competitive sports at a young age to even have a chance of playing at the high school level. There aren't many rec options once you get to the middle school level, and every school team by then has competitive tryouts. There is no way to pick up a new sport by late elementary or middle school. Kids have to determine their interests at their young age or else it is too late. I don't want to encourage my kids to get into sports because I know it is going to suck for them in the end.

It is especially frustrating when there is basically nothing you get in return for investing so much into youth sports. Most kids will never play in the NCAA, and varsity sports don't matter much for college admissions. I don't know how it is reasonable for any family to invest so much time and money and risking their health for basically nothing.

College scholarships, NIL money is not NOTHING

Mostly football and then basketball take nearly all the NIL money unless you are a famous social media athlete (in which case the sport doesn’t matter).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:While I feel most of the competitiveness is driven by lack of opportunity. Pools, fields, courts etc. Another aspect is that there just aren't all that much else to fill kids time with or to cultivate being physically fit.

When I was a kid growing up in a rural area. There were plenty of chores. Clearing the fields, weeding the gardens, bringing in wood for the fire, splitting wood, and then there were plenty of go run around and play outside.

I mean sure you could have kids do art, science experiments, sniff glue, or something, but these all tend to be sedentary consumptive activities. Let's buy bags and bags of sodium bicarbonate so they can make volcanoes.

Not to ding on art, but just pointing out that for kids in an urban/suburban area there isn't much else.

This reflects a lack of creativity.

I have a kid who plays no team sports. She does ballet (not competition based but fairly rigorous) and she swims noncompetitively (stroke and turn clinics mostly). She has friends through both activities.

As a family we hike and bike and play tennis casually.

If she doesn't have a dance or swim class she will go play at the park on her own or with friends for an hour or two in the evening. Climbing or kicking a ball around or doing basic gymnastic skills. She gets sweaty and tired and comes home tired and ready for a shower and bed.

She also enjoys art and science thought those things occupy different parts of her life. She gets physical exercise every day and eats healthy. She is a healthy weight and has plenty of energy and spends remarkably little time on screens (doesn't really watch much TV and rarely asks for it and has yet to ask for a phone or tablet at age 10).

She tried competitive sports when she was younger and didn't like it. Hated soccer -- she was small for her age cohort and not aggressive and even in K the kids fought for the ball and were competitive and it just wasn't fun for someone who likes taking her time and does not like contact in sports. Basketball was a similar story. She did take tennis and enjoyed it but chose to focus on swimming and ballet. She's actually not bad at it and I could see her going out for a high school team but we aren't sure how competitive they will be. If making a HS team means playing tennis intensely competitively for the next 4 years and hiring private coaches and all that then it won't be worth it to her or us. I could also see her doing cross-country (she won't be fast but she's diligent and could enjoy it) or crew (our HS doesn't have a competitive it's just a club but she likes water sports).

So no you don't have no choice but to sign your kids up for highly competitive sports from a young age and then do travel sports and spend huge amounts of money on them. We currently spend between $180-250 per month on sports and activities for her (on the higher end when she's doing ballet and swim at the same time or if she needs new equipment for anything) plus the cost of family recreational activity. I actually feel really fortuante that we are well off enough to be able to afford that comfortably and also that we only have one kid so we don't have to make a lot of tough choices. But we aren't spending tens of thousands of dollars or killing ourselves in terms of schedules. Our lives are pretty chill.

You absolutely have options. This idea that it's travel sports or fat lazy kids on screens is a false dichotomy.

I don't think we have the same idea of physically fit. My daughter did one class of ballet in kindergarten. She was in a performance with ballerina's that ranged from four to eighteen. Of the upper classmen. There were only two that were extremely fit. Most were already overweight. It may be possible to get fit through ballet, but it doesn't appear to be a good way to do so.

I hear what you are saying. There are plenty of parents with small kids that aren't interested in sports like basketball. However, the sports that smaller kids are good at aren't as popular as you would expect. Sort of a cop out if you think about it. My kids small, so I don't have to do sports. What about cricket. That's a money sport, why doesn't anyone in the US play that?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:While I feel most of the competitiveness is driven by lack of opportunity. Pools, fields, courts etc. Another aspect is that there just aren't all that much else to fill kids time with or to cultivate being physically fit.

When I was a kid growing up in a rural area. There were plenty of chores. Clearing the fields, weeding the gardens, bringing in wood for the fire, splitting wood, and then there were plenty of go run around and play outside.

I mean sure you could have kids do art, science experiments, sniff glue, or something, but these all tend to be sedentary consumptive activities. Let's buy bags and bags of sodium bicarbonate so they can make volcanoes.

Not to ding on art, but just pointing out that for kids in an urban/suburban area there isn't much else.

This reflects a lack of creativity.

I have a kid who plays no team sports. She does ballet (not competition based but fairly rigorous) and she swims noncompetitively (stroke and turn clinics mostly). She has friends through both activities.

As a family we hike and bike and play tennis casually.

If she doesn't have a dance or swim class she will go play at the park on her own or with friends for an hour or two in the evening. Climbing or kicking a ball around or doing basic gymnastic skills. She gets sweaty and tired and comes home tired and ready for a shower and bed.

She also enjoys art and science thought those things occupy different parts of her life. She gets physical exercise every day and eats healthy. She is a healthy weight and has plenty of energy and spends remarkably little time on screens (doesn't really watch much TV and rarely asks for it and has yet to ask for a phone or tablet at age 10).

She tried competitive sports when she was younger and didn't like it. Hated soccer -- she was small for her age cohort and not aggressive and even in K the kids fought for the ball and were competitive and it just wasn't fun for someone who likes taking her time and does not like contact in sports. Basketball was a similar story. She did take tennis and enjoyed it but chose to focus on swimming and ballet. She's actually not bad at it and I could see her going out for a high school team but we aren't sure how competitive they will be. If making a HS team means playing tennis intensely competitively for the next 4 years and hiring private coaches and all that then it won't be worth it to her or us. I could also see her doing cross-country (she won't be fast but she's diligent and could enjoy it) or crew (our HS doesn't have a competitive it's just a club but she likes water sports).

So no you don't have no choice but to sign your kids up for highly competitive sports from a young age and then do travel sports and spend huge amounts of money on them. We currently spend between $180-250 per month on sports and activities for her (on the higher end when she's doing ballet and swim at the same time or if she needs new equipment for anything) plus the cost of family recreational activity. I actually feel really fortuante that we are well off enough to be able to afford that comfortably and also that we only have one kid so we don't have to make a lot of tough choices. But we aren't spending tens of thousands of dollars or killing ourselves in terms of schedules. Our lives are pretty chill.

You absolutely have options. This idea that it's travel sports or fat lazy kids on screens is a false dichotomy.

I don't think we have the same idea of physically fit. My daughter did one class of ballet in kindergarten. She was in a performance with ballerina's that ranged from four to eighteen. Of the upper classmen. There were only two that were extremely fit. Most were already overweight. It may be possible to get fit through ballet, but it doesn't appear to be a good way to do so.

I hear what you are saying. There are plenty of parents with small kids that aren't interested in sports like basketball. However, the sports that smaller kids are good at aren't as popular as you would expect. Sort of a cop out if you think about it. My kids small, so I don't have to do sports. What about cricket. That's a money sport, why doesn't anyone in the US play that?

This post makes no sense. Name one high level ballerina that’s overweight or even close to that.

You went to some crappy local ballet school for one class, and that’s your evidence?

That’s like going to one Rec game and saying kids that play sport X aren’t in great shape.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:While I feel most of the competitiveness is driven by lack of opportunity. Pools, fields, courts etc. Another aspect is that there just aren't all that much else to fill kids time with or to cultivate being physically fit.

When I was a kid growing up in a rural area. There were plenty of chores. Clearing the fields, weeding the gardens, bringing in wood for the fire, splitting wood, and then there were plenty of go run around and play outside.

I mean sure you could have kids do art, science experiments, sniff glue, or something, but these all tend to be sedentary consumptive activities. Let's buy bags and bags of sodium bicarbonate so they can make volcanoes.

Not to ding on art, but just pointing out that for kids in an urban/suburban area there isn't much else.

This reflects a lack of creativity.

I have a kid who plays no team sports. She does ballet (not competition based but fairly rigorous) and she swims noncompetitively (stroke and turn clinics mostly). She has friends through both activities.

As a family we hike and bike and play tennis casually.

If she doesn't have a dance or swim class she will go play at the park on her own or with friends for an hour or two in the evening. Climbing or kicking a ball around or doing basic gymnastic skills. She gets sweaty and tired and comes home tired and ready for a shower and bed.

She also enjoys art and science thought those things occupy different parts of her life. She gets physical exercise every day and eats healthy. She is a healthy weight and has plenty of energy and spends remarkably little time on screens (doesn't really watch much TV and rarely asks for it and has yet to ask for a phone or tablet at age 10).

She tried competitive sports when she was younger and didn't like it. Hated soccer -- she was small for her age cohort and not aggressive and even in K the kids fought for the ball and were competitive and it just wasn't fun for someone who likes taking her time and does not like contact in sports. Basketball was a similar story. She did take tennis and enjoyed it but chose to focus on swimming and ballet. She's actually not bad at it and I could see her going out for a high school team but we aren't sure how competitive they will be. If making a HS team means playing tennis intensely competitively for the next 4 years and hiring private coaches and all that then it won't be worth it to her or us. I could also see her doing cross-country (she won't be fast but she's diligent and could enjoy it) or crew (our HS doesn't have a competitive it's just a club but she likes water sports).

So no you don't have no choice but to sign your kids up for highly competitive sports from a young age and then do travel sports and spend huge amounts of money on them. We currently spend between $180-250 per month on sports and activities for her (on the higher end when she's doing ballet and swim at the same time or if she needs new equipment for anything) plus the cost of family recreational activity. I actually feel really fortuante that we are well off enough to be able to afford that comfortably and also that we only have one kid so we don't have to make a lot of tough choices. But we aren't spending tens of thousands of dollars or killing ourselves in terms of schedules. Our lives are pretty chill.

You absolutely have options. This idea that it's travel sports or fat lazy kids on screens is a false dichotomy.

I don't think we have the same idea of physically fit. My daughter did one class of ballet in kindergarten. She was in a performance with ballerina's that ranged from four to eighteen. Of the upper classmen. There were only two that were extremely fit. Most were already overweight. It may be possible to get fit through ballet, but it doesn't appear to be a good way to do so.

I hear what you are saying. There are plenty of parents with small kids that aren't interested in sports like basketball. However, the sports that smaller kids are good at aren't as popular as you would expect. Sort of a cop out if you think about it. My kids small, so I don't have to do sports. What about cricket. That's a money sport, why doesn't anyone in the US play that?

This post makes no sense. Name one high level ballerina that’s overweight or even close to that.

You went to some crappy local ballet school for one class, and that’s your evidence?

That’s like going to one Rec game and saying kids that play sport X aren’t in great shape.

"high level" From what I hear those dance programs are extremely competitive also. You could tell just warming up they were trying to outdo each other. The others... no so much.

[Anonymous]

I just want my kid to play a team sport in high school and that’s starting to feel like a big maybe given the competition in our area. He’s an above average athlete who works hard and puts in extra reps outside of team but isn’t hyper driven in the sense that he has no expectations around being recruited to play in college. So, despite years of playing multiple sports at a fairly demanding level, love for the game, natural athleticism, and coachability he’s a bubble player and may find himself “retired” from his favorite sport(s) at 14. His athletic female friends are having far more success playing into HS than many of his male friends given the sheer numbers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I just want my kid to play a team sport in high school and that’s starting to feel like a big maybe given the competition in our area. He’s an above average athlete who works hard and puts in extra reps outside of team but isn’t hyper driven in the sense that he has no expectations around being recruited to play in college. So, despite years of playing multiple sports at a fairly demanding level, love for the game, natural athleticism, and coachability he’s a bubble player and may find himself “retired” from his favorite sport(s) at 14. His athletic female friends are having far more success playing into HS than many of his male friends given the sheer numbers.

The number of girls and boys playing is the same thanks to title IX. It's not great for a boy who doesn't play football because football teams are needlessly and laughably large. If you're in FCPS, have him try volleyball. Our school was desperate enough that the boys team was no cut this year

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I just want my kid to play a team sport in high school and that’s starting to feel like a big maybe given the competition in our area. He’s an above average athlete who works hard and puts in extra reps outside of team but isn’t hyper driven in the sense that he has no expectations around being recruited to play in college. So, despite years of playing multiple sports at a fairly demanding level, love for the game, natural athleticism, and coachability he’s a bubble player and may find himself “retired” from his favorite sport(s) at 14. His athletic female friends are having far more success playing into HS than many of his male friends given the sheer numbers.

The number of girls and boys playing is the same thanks to title IX. It's not great for a boy who doesn't play football because football teams are needlessly and laughably large. If you're in FCPS, have him try volleyball. Our school was desperate enough that the boys team was no cut this year

The number actually playing is not the same as the number who *want* to play.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I just want my kid to play a team sport in high school and that’s starting to feel like a big maybe given the competition in our area. He’s an above average athlete who works hard and puts in extra reps outside of team but isn’t hyper driven in the sense that he has no expectations around being recruited to play in college. So, despite years of playing multiple sports at a fairly demanding level, love for the game, natural athleticism, and coachability he’s a bubble player and may find himself “retired” from his favorite sport(s) at 14. His athletic female friends are having far more success playing into HS than many of his male friends given the sheer numbers.

The number of girls and boys playing is the same thanks to title IX. It's not great for a boy who doesn't play football because football teams are needlessly and laughably large. If you're in FCPS, have him try volleyball. Our school was desperate enough that the boys team was no cut this year

The number actually playing is not the same as the number who *want* to play.

Go to girls volleyball tryouts and talk about how easy it is to make a girls team. Both genders have teams with hard cuts and both have teams that are easy to make

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I just want my kid to play a team sport in high school and that’s starting to feel like a big maybe given the competition in our area. He’s an above average athlete who works hard and puts in extra reps outside of team but isn’t hyper driven in the sense that he has no expectations around being recruited to play in college. So, despite years of playing multiple sports at a fairly demanding level, love for the game, natural athleticism, and coachability he’s a bubble player and may find himself “retired” from his favorite sport(s) at 14. His athletic female friends are having far more success playing into HS than many of his male friends given the sheer numbers.

Unfortunately, playing a sport in HS isn't a guarantee. As parents we may have had a different HS experience, but that was decades ago. But even then it could be hard to make teams if you attended a school that was good in a specific sport. Today, there are very few sports at the HS level that can be "no cut" either due to ability to take everyone or low demand. So if you want your DC to play a team sport in high school they either have to: 1) Be as good or better than the other players in the, 2) Switch to a sport where the team is easier to make or 3) Join a no cut sport.

There are great statistics on youth sports participation between the ages of 6-12 and 13-17 at https://www.jerseywatch.com/blog/youth-sports-statistics and at https://usafacts.org/articles/are-fewer-kids-playing-sports/. 2021 was the first year HS sports participation dropped below 50% this century. There are lots of reasons for this, but one of the biggest is just simple demographics--there are more players with better training competing while at the same time the number of high schools in the US has not increased for decades. More players competing for the same number of spots = more cuts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I just want my kid to play a team sport in high school and that’s starting to feel like a big maybe given the competition in our area. He’s an above average athlete who works hard and puts in extra reps outside of team but isn’t hyper driven in the sense that he has no expectations around being recruited to play in college. So, despite years of playing multiple sports at a fairly demanding level, love for the game, natural athleticism, and coachability he’s a bubble player and may find himself “retired” from his favorite sport(s) at 14. His athletic female friends are having far more success playing into HS than many of his male friends given the sheer numbers.

Honestly it’s a shame. Other parts of the country have one or two freshman teams, a Jv team and a varsity team. With the number of kids who are stressed out, lonely etc, why can’t the schools add more sports ( and other after school activities for that matter).

At our high school of 3000, we just have Jv and varsity for each sport. If a varsity coach decides he’s going to keep seniors plus take underclassman, juniors may be totally out of luck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I just want my kid to play a team sport in high school and that’s starting to feel like a big maybe given the competition in our area. He’s an above average athlete who works hard and puts in extra reps outside of team but isn’t hyper driven in the sense that he has no expectations around being recruited to play in college. So, despite years of playing multiple sports at a fairly demanding level, love for the game, natural athleticism, and coachability he’s a bubble player and may find himself “retired” from his favorite sport(s) at 14. His athletic female friends are having far more success playing into HS than many of his male friends given the sheer numbers.

The number of girls and boys playing is the same thanks to title IX. It's not great for a boy who doesn't play football because football teams are needlessly and laughably large. If you're in FCPS, have him try volleyball. Our school was desperate enough that the boys team was no cut this year

The number actually playing is not the same as the number who *want* to play.

Go to girls volleyball tryouts and talk about how easy it is to make a girls team. Both genders have teams with hard cuts and both have teams that are easy to make

+100

Our HS had to cut 60 girls from flag football.

Similar numbers for girls soccer.

People thinking that making a girls team is easy just don't know what they are talking about. It may differ in sport by sport at different schools. But its not like girls can just sign up and play. They have to endure tryouts and cuts like the boys

[Anonymous]

^^
Sure jann

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:^^
Sure jann

WTF does that even mean?