UVA rush

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:According to Tri Sigs insta, it looks like they only had 3 young women initiated in last year's pledge class. If they are happy being small, then what's the big deal?

Why do you comment on things you know nothing about? I don't even see there you see that on their Insta? My dd rushed in 2022 and she had Tri Sig pref day (but went another house) and they got a full pledge class of 52 - same as all the others except Gphi. They got a full class last year. She knows several girls there. They are not "happy being small" and no they did not want 3 pledges. If you are on their instagram, you can see that they have alot of girls and it's a chapter that has had a perfeclty fine reputation up until this year and an active social life.

The sorority that used to have these issues is Gamma Phi, who didn't even have enough girls to participate in formal rush this year. That is the one that "no one wants" usually. Now that Gphi didn't partocipate in rush, Tri Sig fell to that descriptor, which is so unfortunate.

Is this an actual parent writing this? I just find it so odd that you are so overly involved and knowledgeable about this.

Some weirdos here.
Ngl

right back at ya!

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:According to Tri Sigs insta, it looks like they only had 3 young women initiated in last year's pledge class. If they are happy being small, then what's the big deal?

Why do you comment on things you know nothing about? I don't even see there you see that on their Insta? My dd rushed in 2022 and she had Tri Sig pref day (but went another house) and they got a full pledge class of 52 - same as all the others except Gphi. They got a full class last year. She knows several girls there. They are not "happy being small" and no they did not want 3 pledges. If you are on their instagram, you can see that they have alot of girls and it's a chapter that has had a perfeclty fine reputation up until this year and an active social life.

The sorority that used to have these issues is Gamma Phi, who didn't even have enough girls to participate in formal rush this year. That is the one that "no one wants" usually. Now that Gphi didn't partocipate in rush, Tri Sig fell to that descriptor, which is so unfortunate.

Is this an actual parent writing this? I just find it so odd that you are so overly involved and knowledgeable about this.

A mother without a life. Please go read a book if you are underemployed.

NP it’s very easy to learn all this of your DD has a bad rush experience. The girls talk and most girls will talk to their mothers when they’re distressed. No need for insults. I know WAY more about rush than my GDI self ever wanted to.

[Anonymous]

Back on track

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:According to Tri Sigs insta, it looks like they only had 3 young women initiated in last year's pledge class. If they are happy being small, then what's the big deal?

+1

The moms seem to be trying to overcompensate here.

Many of you may not realize that NPC sororities do not operate in a vacuum. There is a vast network of volunteer alums (usually 5-10 local to the chapter and then another 10-12 who oversee that chapter and others on a national level, and that’s not including the 5-10 housing corporation board members per chapter that oversee facility management and employees who live and work in the homes…and easily 25-60 paid employees of each NPC group whose job it is to keep the business side of sororities running.) These are multi-million dollar non-profit entities.

So yes, this is a “moms message board” but did you know that women are allowed to have jobs and volunteer positions and also be a mom?
Maybe sorority work isn’t something you value doing with your time, but hundreds of women do. It’s doubtful that someone who is simply a “bored mom” would know that much about the insider process.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:My kid just got dropped from her top two choices. I think it is House Tours day today. She is not thrilled. I told her to go through the motions. She might end up clicking with another house. Personally, I would have preferred she never rush, yet here I am still encouraging her to continue with the process. I guess this will be one of many growing experiences in life, and it won’t be the end of she does not end up joining a sorority.

Please tell her to continue. Looking back the houses that seemed the closest were not the top few. Sometimes things work out when you least expect.

Just curious. Why do you care whether or not PPs daughter joins a sorority?

I’m beginning to think the whole thing is a big money scam, with some of these groups desperate for any members that can pay.

Not PP, but 100% as membership-based organizations, sororities rely on membership (and dues from its members) to sustain operations and growth.
The US is full of thousands and thousands of adult women who are alumnae of these various sororities, and who benefitted from collegiate membership (some socially…which is the part that non-Greeks focus on; some academically—Greeks in average have 10-20% higher GPA than non-Greeks, so they tend to be a peer group that cares about academic success; some philanthropically—most groups have signature philanthropy events that are completely student organized and run, so it teaches about importance of lifelong giving and community impact; some leadership-oriented—serving as a sorority officer is a solid leadership experience with budgeting ($20K-$100K budgets), management of people and committees, conducting meetings, etc.)

So the PP who encouraged that daughter to stay and see if there is a group she would feel comfortable joining likely just recognizes the value that her own sorority membership brought to her life and wants to see that continue to impact other’s lives in that way.
And she probably knows sororities can only continue through dues-paying memberships.

Sure, you can get campus involvement, social connection, philanthropy activity, and leadership from joining any other club—but sororities are women supporting other women in all of the above…and for life.
Truly as silly as it seems, sharing all that plus the initiation ceremony (that is over 100 years old at this point, for nearly every sorority group) during those 3-4 formative years of growth is meaningful for many women.

Correction: it’s women supporting certain women. Definitely not all women.

well yes, generally speaking, it’s the kind with female genitalia. But some groups are even being flexible about that lately. (Looking at you, KKG)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:According to Tri Sigs insta, it looks like they only had 3 young women initiated in last year's pledge class. If they are happy being small, then what's the big deal?

Why do you comment on things you know nothing about? I don't even see there you see that on their Insta? My dd rushed in 2022 and she had Tri Sig pref day (but went another house) and they got a full pledge class of 52 - same as all the others except Gphi. They got a full class last year. She knows several girls there. They are not "happy being small" and no they did not want 3 pledges. If you are on their instagram, you can see that they have alot of girls and it's a chapter that has had a perfeclty fine reputation up until this year and an active social life.

The sorority that used to have these issues is Gamma Phi, who didn't even have enough girls to participate in formal rush this year. That is the one that "no one wants" usually. Now that Gphi didn't partocipate in rush, Tri Sig fell to that descriptor, which is so unfortunate.

Who is smearing Tri Sig and what is even the point of that? Doesn't that mean that next year, they won't have the numbers to participate in rush and some other house will become the "no one wants" house, and so on?

Yes.
This is exactly what this means and sadly it’s often the next two houses above the lowest one that start this garbage talk to try to distinguish themselves as more desirable than X house. They just don’t think!
Compassion and kindness is the solution. And it should come from the top three groups rallying to support.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:According to Tri Sigs insta, it looks like they only had 3 young women initiated in last year's pledge class. If they are happy being small, then what's the big deal?

Why do you comment on things you know nothing about? I don't even see there you see that on their Insta? My dd rushed in 2022 and she had Tri Sig pref day (but went another house) and they got a full pledge class of 52 - same as all the others except Gphi. They got a full class last year. She knows several girls there. They are not "happy being small" and no they did not want 3 pledges. If you are on their instagram, you can see that they have alot of girls and it's a chapter that has had a perfeclty fine reputation up until this year and an active social life.

The sorority that used to have these issues is Gamma Phi, who didn't even have enough girls to participate in formal rush this year. That is the one that "no one wants" usually. Now that Gphi didn't partocipate in rush, Tri Sig fell to that descriptor, which is so unfortunate.

Who is smearing Tri Sig and what is even the point of that? Doesn't that mean that next year, they won't have the numbers to participate in rush and some other house will become the "no one wants" house, and so on?

Yes, and I think this is really illustrative of the diminishing appeal of sororities. If low-key, less-status-y sororities can't find a group of like-minded low-key women to continue their existence, only those who care about the more exclusive houses will participate. Then those groups will continue to eat their own until only the houses who can sustain themselves entirely on multi-generational legacies alone survive.

Np. Sororities are having something of a resurgence though. Yes there was diminishing appeal maybe 5 years ago.

But in recent years, teens, and even tweens know about sororities way earlier than any of us ever did. I think you don’t actually have a firm handle or grasp on social dynamics amongst women in the 16-24 year old range.

Weirdly (or not) sororities have the same really strong resurgent appeal that Taylor Swift does. I don’t see it dying out anytime soon even if you wish it would….

If that's the case, why can't every house fill a pledge class, then? It's obviously not about the appeal of sororities in general or as a concept - it's the vibe of exclusiveness.

[Anonymous]

Best sorority: GDIs (god damned individuals).
They don’t try out for friends and pay to keep them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Best sorority: GDIs (god damned individuals).
They don’t try out for friends and pay to keep them.

I used to think that too but some are looking for a structured social outlet and a smaller community. It’s not always easy to find that.There are pros and cons.Try to be open minded.

[Anonymous]

Is the issue that there are too many sororities at UVA? If they can’t fill pledge classes is it just that there’s less interest in the Greek system?

[Anonymous]

Are the other sororities all equal in size?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is the issue that there are too many sororities at UVA? If they can’t fill pledge classes is it just that there’s less interest in the Greek system?

Auburn ran into this too. So when the houses are all too full, they bring another new house to campus. But few girls want it because it’s new and either they have no identity yet or it’s negative from somewhere else. So girls get cut from other houses early and with gusto in hopes of pushing them into houses that aren’t popular whether it’s a good fit for them or not. Lots of girls either don’t want that house or don’t feel like it’s the right fit, so they drop out of rush completely. On the school’s end, it’s very calculated. What this means is that for several years, lots of girls have awful rush experiences while the school keeps trying to fill unpopular houses to save them. Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn’t. I know a lot of Alabama moms who told their high school girls to go to U Alabama instead of Auburn because their rush was such a train wreck - it’s that important to them. I’m not invested enough to find out if that new house ever flourished or if rush has returned to the previous normal level of drama instead of this calculated misery.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Best sorority: GDIs (god damned individuals).
They don’t try out for friends and pay to keep them.

So true. SO TRUE.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I saw on the parent fb page some parents are sending their daughters cookies and / or flowers. Is this a thing?

I assume parents were not present for Bid Day. I know of out of state moms showing up for Bid Day at Southern universities. Seems a bit much, in my view.

Kind of like when kids get accepted and there is a pic on insta of a kids bedroom with 100+ balloons, $1K of college merch and snack food that matches the school colors. Last year it seemed each post topped the prior one.

So, yeah, some parents are thrilled that their kids are now in the “top tier” of society and will send them presents that they will then hopefully post on social media so the moms can repost and brag.

Geez parents are happy their kid got into any sorority, not top tier. I sent my kid some themed cookies after initiation.

I heard that a lot of girls dropped out of rush this year, which is a real shame. Sounds like way more than usual and they started with a smaller group rushing to begin with. Looks like it will be a busy COB season.

If your kid got into the lowest tier that only got 3 girls as opposed to their usual full house would you have sent themed cookies? Maybe you would have - but I am seeing the usual tier hierarchy play out.

What I am seeing on social media is just so eye opening…and depressing. I feel so bad for the kids with everything so in your face on social media. And from what I am seeing the parents are the worst.

I am also seeing tons of posts from kids who were just accepted into college listing all of the sororities in their girls school begging for letters of recommendation. It’s January... 😳
And their kid is not yet in college.

You must be an alum from the pre-2006 era.
This “we only got 3 new members” thing literally doesn’t happen anymore.
NPC fixed the algorithm and now most if not all houses pledge quota unless they choose to under-invite at every round.

Oh it happened and it’s not even what is considered the “bottom” chapter. So many more folks dropped this year, I think the algorithm broke. theta even had to offer snap bids. My daughter is a pi chi and she said more than half of her dropped throughout the process.

Again, associating “snap bids” with bottom tier and being shocked that groups that are not bottom would do this is simply telling me that you are an alum from 25 years ago.
When every group must limit their invitations based on their prior three years of performance, there will be groups that miss quota by one or three on occasion. And when it happens to a group that is not lower tier (“even theta”) will utilize snap bidding to pretty easily and quickly fill those spots.
Yes, girls drop when they have their hearts set on certain houses and their expectations for what houses will invite them don’t align with what happens for them.
But when that happens, invitation numbers given to the houses by NPC is reduced, and quota is then adjusted each round to reflect the number still enrolled divided by the number of houses.
There are no NPC houses at UVA (or elsewhere) that are matching only three women on bid day.

DP. The complexity of this process is laughable. (To say nothing of the ridiculous rules they have to follow once they’re in.) All this just to make some friends? I get it purely from a keeping up appearances standpoint, but it’s really report pathetic as far as building authentic relationships.

Another DP. Totally agree. The amount of energy spent on this vapid drama is something else, especially when there are SO many other fun things to do on campus.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:This thread had me go down the rabbit hole of uva sorority IG pages. I went there in the late 90s. The pics make it look like it was exactly the same as it was then. Wasn’t my thing then and it really makes me wonder if it’s the place for DD.

Well, perhaps you can be a good parent, and tell your UVA student (like I did) about your concerns. I was President of my sorority back in the day. Huge. huge mistake. Both my kids know that. My UVA kid never pledged and never, ever went into one of the houses, which is easy because they are not on campus and only 30% participate.

Perhaps talk to your children and share your concerns instead of judging here. Lots of great students go to UVA and never participate - it's not like the big Greek houses in the south.

Meanwhile, my kid graduated UVA with highest honors and is overseas getting a doctorate. It can happen. Then law school. Imagine that.

There’s that adjective “only” again. 30% is a huge proportion. Your effort to be dismissive of its presence and influence is unconvincing… no, it’s not for everyone but the Greek system is omnipresent, influential, and mainstream. It’s probably the most popular activity on grounds — can you think of another activity that attracts 30% of the student population?

The activity of avoiding frats attracts 74 percent of the student population. So there’s your answer.

No, that’s it an answer. It sounds like some desperate attempt by you to downplay the significance of the Greek presence on grounds. So you obviously care a whole lot about the Greek system — you have this fantasy that it’s insignificant when the opposite is demonstrably true.

No one is downplaying anything. You aren't aware there are schools like Wash & Lee which is 86 percent greek. 30 percent is small. I don't even remember what my SLACs was but it was not a big deal on campus

DP. 30 percent can feel pretty huge when you’re a first year trying to find where you fit in, and 6 out of 18 girls on your hall suddenly have brand new groups of friends and tons of social opportunities. It really can feel pretty devastating for some, not necessarily because they desperately want to be in a particular sorority, but because they want to find a crowd, or because it disrupts relationships they’ve already formed. I really feel for these kids having to go through this with social media now, too.

Well they could’ve rushed and be at bid day today if they didn’t have some particular pre conceived notion of where they belonged.

Maybe they were not familiar with greek life (I wasn't when I was a freshman). I didn't really know what it was. I also didn't think, once i found out, I could afford it. There are lots of reasons people may not have rushed beyond the "preconceived notion" of the poor, oppressed sororities.

There was some very pointed bad mouthing of one sorority all week on social media. This is a healthy sorority that normally does fine, though they are “low tier”, they got three girls. They normally get a normal sized pledge class. So no I think it’s not innocent reasons, it’s badmouthing on social media which led to girls dropping rather than go to this house. Really awful, why anyone feels the need to put others down, especially those who are no threat to anyone, I have no idea.

Where are kids bad mouthing the houses? My ask is not to read behind but curious were people posting and reading it if it really influenced girls. I would not think people would want to put their name to speaking poorly of other houses?

Yik Yak

That is so mean. I don’t even know what yik yak is? So mean and sad they didn’t get more than 3 girls. Makes me sad.

I thought Yik Yak died more than 5 years ago b/c no one used? Guess not.

It did shut down b/c of “rampant bullying” in 2017. But it’s back.

Article from when relaunched in 2022:

“The Return of Yik Yak. The social media app that shut down in 2017 amid rampant bullying is back on campus with new “community guardrails” in place to prevent harassment. But some students say that’s not enough…. Now a whole new generation of college students is discovering the app. Some have no idea of its past history of cyberbullying and threats….”

https://www.insidehighered.com/news/2022/03/07/yik-yak-re-emerges-after-shutdown

From before shut down, Wash Post describes it as “cauldron of hate speech”
https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/grade-point/wp/2015/05/07/some-virginia-students-school-officials-struggle-with-anonymous-bullying-and-hate-speech-on-yik-yak-app/

Wow I had no idea, thanks for sharing. my DD told me this week, if YikYak had been a thing when she rushed in Jan 2022, she would’ve dropped from rush. Hateful hateful stuff being shared.

Sounds an awful app from everything hearing/reading.

+1
Which reinforces that the type of people sharing that information and making the hateful comments are the same people in Greek life. No thanks.
DP

You don’t know that, it’s open to everyone.

Oh, come on. People who aren't interested in Greek life are definitely not wasting time on some awful, catty, shallow website. People who are obsessed with Greek life ARE.