Do men really not care about a woman’s career?

Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Different take on this. While guys would happily sleep with tanning salon girls, strippers, etc. for most professional men it would be a career issue and a family issue to marry them. So no men don’t care but it has to be something that can be explained. Nurse, teacher, cop all fine. Makeup sales at Macy’s less so.


Less about the career, more about the woman’s mind and character. Making conversation with a bimbo every day for the rest of your life is going to get old.

Being educated and having a career are two kinds of life experience that develop you as a person. You come into contact with certain realities, you learn new things, you get new skills. Some of these can translate to a relationship. I would not want to be with someone who doesn’t work. For one s/he might just not have the confidence that comes with having set yourself a challenge in a social context and met it. I also think it would be easier to discuss big picture issues with someone who has a higher level ability to think things through.


For sure. Most men would gladly marry an unemployed women with MA in history than a masseuse with GED making $$$.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Different take on this. While guys would happily sleep with tanning salon girls, strippers, etc. for most professional men it would be a career issue and a family issue to marry them. So no men don’t care but it has to be something that can be explained. Nurse, teacher, cop all fine. Makeup sales at Macy’s less so.


Less about the career, more about the woman’s mind and character. Making conversation with a bimbo every day for the rest of your life is going to get old.

Being educated and having a career are two kinds of life experience that develop you as a person. You come into contact with certain realities, you learn new things, you get new skills. Some of these can translate to a relationship. I would not want to be with someone who doesn’t work. For one s/he might just not have the confidence that comes with having set yourself a challenge in a social context and met it. I also think it would be easier to discuss big picture issues with someone who has a higher level ability to think things through.


For sure. Most men would gladly marry an unemployed women with MA in history than a masseuse with GED making $$$.


I’m a woman and would rather marry a masseuse making $$$… well, if he was good at massages.
Anonymous
If a man earns well, wife's earning isn't a deal breaker but education is.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Different take on this. While guys would happily sleep with tanning salon girls, strippers, etc. for most professional men it would be a career issue and a family issue to marry them. So no men don’t care but it has to be something that can be explained. Nurse, teacher, cop all fine. Makeup sales at Macy’s less so.


Less about the career, more about the woman’s mind and character. Making conversation with a bimbo every day for the rest of your life is going to get old.

Being educated and having a career are two kinds of life experience that develop you as a person. You come into contact with certain realities, you learn new things, you get new skills. Some of these can translate to a relationship. I would not want to be with someone who doesn’t work. For one s/he might just not have the confidence that comes with having set yourself a challenge in a social context and met it. I also think it would be easier to discuss big picture issues with someone who has a higher level ability to think things through.


For sure. Most men would gladly marry an unemployed women with MA in history than a masseuse with GED making $$$.


I’m a woman and would rather marry a masseuse making $$$… well, if he was good at massages.


I probably wouldnt marry one but if I ever had an affair, its going to be with a good masseuse ... no conditions about age, gender, income, education or looks.
Anonymous
If all of wife's income is being spent on clothing, shoes, bags, lunches, daycare, commute etc then no material gain but loss of lost of family harmony. It makes sense if two incomes are needed or its a high income or great career but otherwise its just a full time hobby.
Anonymous
For sure. Most men would gladly marry an unemployed women with MA in history than a masseuse with GED making $$$.


Your two choices are a bit over-the-top, as if a non masters-degree-holder is automatically a masseuse. In the middle are a lot of employed women I’d be interested in.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Different take on this. While guys would happily sleep with tanning salon girls, strippers, etc. for most professional men it would be a career issue and a family issue to marry them. So no men don’t care but it has to be something that can be explained. Nurse, teacher, cop all fine. Makeup sales at Macy’s less so.


Less about the career, more about the woman’s mind and character. Making conversation with a bimbo every day for the rest of your life is going to get old.

Being educated and having a career are two kinds of life experience that develop you as a person. You come into contact with certain realities, you learn new things, you get new skills. Some of these can translate to a relationship. I would not want to be with someone who doesn’t work. For one s/he might just not have the confidence that comes with having set yourself a challenge in a social context and met it. I also think it would be easier to discuss big picture issues with someone who has a higher level ability to think things through.


For sure. Most men would gladly marry an unemployed women with MA in history than a masseuse with GED making $$$.


I’m a woman and would rather marry a masseuse making $$$… well, if he was good at massages.


I probably wouldnt marry one but if I ever had an affair, its going to be with a good masseuse ... no conditions about age, gender, income, education or looks.


Ok, that’s a good point. But there is one that I would marry. Technically he owns a luxury massage business that is pretty lucrative, but he also gives the most incredible massages. I wouldn’t care if he wanted me in his harem. Done!
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Combined HHI is around $700k. My husband isn’t going to live a $450K lifestyle just for the privilege of “not caring” about my career. Adequate HHI means outsourcing a lot of the points of tension in a dual-income relationship.


Sure..but your husband isn't high income..enough. Most couples fall in the middle and need dual incoms to live a "$700 K lifestyle". In that case, a woman's career matters. If your DH made 700K by himself this wouldn't matter.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Combined HHI is around $700k. My husband isn’t going to live a $450K lifestyle just for the privilege of “not caring” about my career. Adequate HHI means outsourcing a lot of the points of tension in a dual-income relationship.


Sure..but your husband isn't high income..enough. Most couples fall in the middle and need dual incoms to live a "$700 K lifestyle". In that case, a woman's career matters. If your DH made 700K by himself this wouldn't matter.


Unless he or the family wanted to live a $950K lifestyle. It’s all about how people want to live. Even in DC there are people who make it work on $450k if that’s how they want to live.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Combined HHI is around $700k. My husband isn’t going to live a $450K lifestyle just for the privilege of “not caring” about my career. Adequate HHI means outsourcing a lot of the points of tension in a dual-income relationship.


Sure..but your husband isn't high income..enough. Most couples fall in the middle and need dual incoms to live a "$700 K lifestyle". In that case, a woman's career matters. If your DH made 700K by himself this wouldn't matter.


Unless he or the family wanted to live a $950K lifestyle. It’s all about how people want to live. Even in DC there are people who make it work on $450k if that’s how they want to live.


Sure there’s lifestyle creep, but at a certain point if a family is comfortable priorities switch to other things rather than money. Private school is going to be a stretch still at $450k for two kids unless you want to cut back on other umc luxuries like travel.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Combined HHI is around $700k. My husband isn’t going to live a $450K lifestyle just for the privilege of “not caring” about my career. Adequate HHI means outsourcing a lot of the points of tension in a dual-income relationship.


Sure..but your husband isn't high income..enough. Most couples fall in the middle and need dual incoms to live a "$700 K lifestyle". In that case, a woman's career matters. If your DH made 700K by himself this wouldn't matter.


Unless he or the family wanted to live a $950K lifestyle. It’s all about how people want to live. Even in DC there are people who make it work on $450k if that’s how they want to live.


Sure there’s lifestyle creep, but at a certain point if a family is comfortable priorities switch to other things rather than money. Private school is going to be a stretch still at $450k for two kids unless you want to cut back on other umc luxuries like travel.


Which still concludes that at the top 2% by income for the country, men care about women's careers.

Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Combined HHI is around $700k. My husband isn’t going to live a $450K lifestyle just for the privilege of “not caring” about my career. Adequate HHI means outsourcing a lot of the points of tension in a dual-income relationship.


Sure..but your husband isn't high income..enough. Most couples fall in the middle and need dual incoms to live a "$700 K lifestyle". In that case, a woman's career matters. If your DH made 700K by himself this wouldn't matter.


Unless he or the family wanted to live a $950K lifestyle. It’s all about how people want to live. Even in DC there are people who make it work on $450k if that’s how they want to live.


Sure there’s lifestyle creep, but at a certain point if a family is comfortable priorities switch to other things rather than money. Private school is going to be a stretch still at $450k for two kids unless you want to cut back on other umc luxuries like travel.


Which still concludes that at the top 2% by income for the country, men care about women's careers.



Sorry you didn't marry rich enough.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Combined HHI is around $700k. My husband isn’t going to live a $450K lifestyle just for the privilege of “not caring” about my career. Adequate HHI means outsourcing a lot of the points of tension in a dual-income relationship.


Sure..but your husband isn't high income..enough. Most couples fall in the middle and need dual incoms to live a "$700 K lifestyle". In that case, a woman's career matters. If your DH made 700K by himself this wouldn't matter.


Unless he or the family wanted to live a $950K lifestyle. It’s all about how people want to live. Even in DC there are people who make it work on $450k if that’s how they want to live.


Sure there’s lifestyle creep, but at a certain point if a family is comfortable priorities switch to other things rather than money. Private school is going to be a stretch still at $450k for two kids unless you want to cut back on other umc luxuries like travel.


Which still concludes that at the top 2% by income for the country, men care about women's careers.



Sorry you didn't marry rich enough.


There isn’t rich enough for me to give up my career, I love what I do. I would quickly give up a husband who didn’t support it, though.
Anonymous
I'll bite. When I was single, broke up with a woman who had a college degree and was working behind the counter of an eyeglass place at a mall. Good looking, very nice person, insane in bed. But I could never get serious with someone who did not have ambition. We would eventually have nothing to talk about. Was not interested in a handmaid wife.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Combined HHI is around $700k. My husband isn’t going to live a $450K lifestyle just for the privilege of “not caring” about my career. Adequate HHI means outsourcing a lot of the points of tension in a dual-income relationship.


Sure..but your husband isn't high income..enough. Most couples fall in the middle and need dual incoms to live a "$700 K lifestyle". In that case, a woman's career matters. If your DH made 700K by himself this wouldn't matter.


Unless he or the family wanted to live a $950K lifestyle. It’s all about how people want to live. Even in DC there are people who make it work on $450k if that’s how they want to live.


Sure there’s lifestyle creep, but at a certain point if a family is comfortable priorities switch to other things rather than money. Private school is going to be a stretch still at $450k for two kids unless you want to cut back on other umc luxuries like travel.


Which still concludes that at the top 2% by income for the country, men care about women's careers.



Sorry you didn't marry rich enough.


There isn’t rich enough for me to give up my career, I love what I do. I would quickly give up a husband who didn’t support it, though.


What you don’t understand is at that high income level your husband supports whatever you want. You want to work, great. You want to do a hobby, great. You want to spend time with your children, great. But does he care what you do as long as you guys get along, no.
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