Is this a hint?
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Anonymous
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So last night we're having dinner at MIL's house, when she and DH start laughing about a video that his brother, my BIL sent out to the family showing his kids in Halloween costumes dancing. WTF? I didn't get a copy...nor did I get a copy of my SIL's pic of her baby in a Halloween costume. (I put a pic of our kids on Facebook for all to see.) No, I don't care so much about seeing the costumes, obviously more about being excluded. Also, our last Christmas card from SIL mentioned everyone in the family by name (DH, kids) in a personal note. Not so much as a "Merry Christmas" to me anywhere.
Am I overreacting? |
Anonymous
| Yes |
Anonymous
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my inlaws do this to me as well. i find it hard to not have my feelings a little hurt when everyone is included but me (including my bil who is also married in, because then its not just the core family which i could easily understand but its literally everyone but me)
some people wouldn't view a public facebook pic as personal enough - maybe that's their issue? you didn't specifically text or email it to them? do you get along with your sil? |
Anonymous
| If I e-mail my MIL she responds in e-mail to my wife instead of me. She is perfectly nice to me. She just can't get why I think that's weird. I'm not saying its wrong for you to feel a bit hurt, I just don't think there's any hinting or mean-spiritedness going on. |
Anonymous
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Ouch, OP.
But it requires a light touch: "SIL, how cute! I'd love to be included when you send pictures out, if it's not too much trouble." |
Anonymous
| My grandparents have me a WEDDING gift with a card inscribed just to me. This is basically how they treated in-laws in general. My DH was amused. I was not. |
Anonymous
OP here...we get along fine when we are face-to-face; no contact otherwise. See each other about 1-2 times a year. I used to send actual photos to everybody but never got any back so I quit. Wouldn't mind all this if the other SIL was left out too, but that's not the case. |
Anonymous
| And your DH didn't show you this because...? I think your irritation should have a closer target than SIL. |
Anonymous
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OP - Be sure to make a big deal of this, give everyone a hard time, and create a lot of family drama, strain, and tension.
Resist any urge to have common sense and to take the high road on this. It's all about you, 24/7 ! Good luck. |
Anonymous
The reason this shit happens is because I never say anything about crap to any of them. I only see them once or twice a year, hardly worth the effort of creating drama. But if this advice is based on the way that you deal with your family, I suggest you seek help. It's not really all about you all the time. |
Anonymous
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Unless it's out of character for them (have you been included in the past?), I wouldn't give it too much thought. My DH is one of five kids, and he and his siblings only send stuff like pictures etc to the other siblings, usually not to the siblings' spouses. I guess it's then up to each person whether they want to share with their spouse (dh sometimes shares with me, sometimes not). I never thought it was weird or felt excluded.
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Anonymous
| May be they wrongly think you wouldn't be interested. I recommend just asking sil, "oh, that sounds funny. can you send it to me?" |
Anonymous
Pointless and ignorant post. You sound like an idiot. |
Anonymous
I don't think you are overreacting. I have a neighbor who plays head games like that with her new SIL because she doesn't want her to be part of the "inner circle." And her poor SIL tries so hard to fit in. |
Anonymous
pp again. i feel for you and it sucks. and its not as easy as simply asking to be included as otherd have suggested. i have asked in the past and they still ignore. unfortunately it probably wont change. |