Fiancé rude to my mother
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Anonymous
| My fiancé is consistently rude to my mother. Not out and out rude, but ignores her, leaves the room when she comes in, never makes an effort, never tries to help her (she is very low vision and has trouble walking), basically treats her like he doesn't care if she lives or dies. How much of a hero to me would he be to me if he were just nice to her. She constantly tries to engage him in conversation, but when he doesn't respond she leaves it be. It makes me angry. I feel like he is disrespecting me. I am nice to his friends, and I really don't like his friends. This is family. This has been going on for years and I don't see it changing. But it still angers me and makes me feel disrespected. Any advice?? |
Anonymous
| Why are you with him if he can't show basic respect to another person? |
Anonymous
|
He IS disrespecting you!
(Why are you with this guy? Sounds like a jerk.) |
Anonymous
|
You should judge your fiance for this behavior and run. If he can't be gracious to her when she needs help, imagine how things will be if you are pregnant and need medical attention.
He sounds like a major ass. Please don't be another one of those women psotiong on her in 5 years about how they wish they had known. You can do better. |
Anonymous
| Big red flag. If you mom is decent, he should make the effort. Something to consider. |
Anonymous
It's not like he's rude rude exactly. He responds to questions. He just basically makes no effort whatsoever. Never initiates anything, never tries to help her, he will keep things that could help her put away rather then offer them. I always make a big effort for all of his friends. It's like he's acting like if he just keeps ignoring her she will go away. But we are extremely close (my mother and I) and it hurts my feelings when he acts like that. She's been nice to him time and again and he always acts the same way, |
Anonymous
It's funny you mention the medical thing because every time he has a medical issue I argue he go to the best doctor, but he's always asking me why I spend so much money (and I have some chronic medical conditions). |
Anonymous
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Attentive to you now and not to others you care about? In a few years that will translate to not attentive to you either, my friend. And don't think you can change him.
MAJOR red flag, OP. Either he is really a jerk or he has some kind of social disability like Asperger's, that will make life quite difficult for you (believe my own experience!). Breaking off the engagement is WAY cheaper and less traumatic than divorcing him, especially if there are children and custody issues; or worse, living with him. You've been warned! |
Anonymous
| OP, what is your honest answer to the question whether your fiancé is a good person? Sounds like he's not, based on what you're saying. Have you discussed this with him? |
Anonymous
We'll it is hard, I am almost 40. |
Anonymous
| So why are with him? He is showing you exactly who he is: a rude person. Are you afraid that you do not deserve better? |
Anonymous
| OP, this is exactly how he will treat you as soon as you are married. End the relationship NOW! I'm sorry, and as someone who broke off an engagement I know it's hard, but you really have to do it. |
Anonymous
| You need to run, girl. Take it from someone who ignored all the early signs, and married an asshole. I was young, but that's not an excuse. For me, it really boiled down to my own low self esteem. I thought I couldn't do any better. Now, 14 years, and 3 kids later, I'm really upset with myself for not seeing him for who he is- a huge jackass. Stop making excuses. There's likely a good reason why you don't like his friends, too. |
Anonymous
| I'd rather be almost 40 and alone than almost 40 and married to a jackass. |
Anonymous
| And who cares if you're 40? Your age shouldn't be a reason to settle for someone that will treat you poorly. |