Fiancé rude to my mother

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Attentive to you now and not to others you care about? In a few years that will translate to not attentive to you either, my friend. And don't think you can change him.

MAJOR red flag, OP. Either he is really a jerk or he has some kind of social disability like Asperger's, that will make life quite difficult for you (believe my own experience!).

Breaking off the engagement is WAY cheaper and less traumatic than divorcing him, especially if there are children and custody issues; or worse, living with him.

You've been warned!

THIS. RUN. I dated a guy like this. You're next in line for his "not rude rude" treatment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You should judge your fiance for this behavior and run. If he can't be gracious to her when she needs help, imagine how things will be if you are pregnant and need medical attention.

He sounds like a major ass. Please don't be another one of those women psotiong on her in 5 years about how they wish they had known. You can do better.

+1

[Anonymous]

OP, read your own post and act accordingly. This is a major red flag.

[Anonymous]

I don't care if you are 55, OP. This guy is a loser. You need to get yourself to therapy if you think you have any hope of having a healthy relationship in the future.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You should judge your fiance for this behavior and run. If he can't be gracious to her when she needs help, imagine how things will be if you are pregnant and need medical attention.

He sounds like a major ass. Please don't be another one of those women psotiong on her in 5 years about how they wish they had known. You can do better.

We'll it is hard, I am almost 40.

No matter your age, you are better off alone than with someone who is not kind to you and your family. Kindness is all-important.

Do not settle for anything less.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Attentive to you now and not to others you care about? In a few years that will translate to not attentive to you either, my friend. And don't think you can change him.

MAJOR red flag, OP. Either he is really a jerk or he has some kind of social disability like Asperger's, that will make life quite difficult for you (believe my own experience!).

Breaking off the engagement is WAY cheaper and less traumatic than divorcing him, especially if there are children and custody issues; or worse, living with him.

You've been warned!

THIS. RUN. I dated a guy like this. You're next in line for his "not rude rude" treatment.

It just makes me so angry! But there's nothing I can exactly point to exactly.

[Anonymous]

There are lots of men who'd be into a woman who is almost 40 or even over 40 and would still be nice to your mom.

Have you ever asked him why he is this way with your mother? Have you ever told him how much it bothers you, how much it makes you think this is how he'll treat you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There are lots of men who'd be into a woman who is almost 40 or even over 40 and would still be nice to your mom.

Have you ever asked him why he is this way with your mother? Have you ever told him how much it bothers you, how much it makes you think this is how he'll treat you?

I have had conversations with him on this over the years. He is very jealous of her. He is rude to my brother too. Again, not rude rude, but just acting polite enough but never nice or engaging, like I am with his friends and family, treating them special etc. he treats them as though he wishes they would go away.

[Anonymous]

OP, I agree with the above posters saying RED FLAGS, run. I understand how scared you are about being alone, because I was in a similar position.

It was so, so hard to do, but I broke off the engagement. I had a really rough year and a half (even knowing it was the right decision), and then came to peace with life. Sure enough, that is when I found my wonderful husband. (And FWIW, I also have a chronic medical condition. Trust me on this you, you are going to want a true partner that will always have you back, especially through the hard times.)

Please, please consider what your future holds if you stay.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I agree with the above posters saying RED FLAGS, run. I understand how scared you are about being alone, because I was in a similar position.

It was so, so hard to do, but I broke off the engagement. I had a really rough year and a half (even knowing it was the right decision), and then came to peace with life. Sure enough, that is when I found my wonderful husband. (And FWIW, I also have a chronic medical condition. Trust me on this you, you are going to want a true partner that will always have you back, especially through the hard times.)

Please, please consider what your future holds if you stay.

Were you as old as I am tho?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Attentive to you now and not to others you care about? In a few years that will translate to not attentive to you either, my friend. And don't think you can change him.

MAJOR red flag, OP. Either he is really a jerk or he has some kind of social disability like Asperger's, that will make life quite difficult for you (believe my own experience!).

Breaking off the engagement is WAY cheaper and less traumatic than divorcing him, especially if there are children and custody issues; or worse, living with him.

You've been warned!

THIS. RUN. I dated a guy like this. You're next in line for his "not rude rude" treatment.

It just makes me so angry! But there's nothing I can exactly point to exactly.

Uh, you said he ignores her. That's enough to "point to."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I agree with the above posters saying RED FLAGS, run. I understand how scared you are about being alone, because I was in a similar position.

It was so, so hard to do, but I broke off the engagement. I had a really rough year and a half (even knowing it was the right decision), and then came to peace with life. Sure enough, that is when I found my wonderful husband. (And FWIW, I also have a chronic medical condition. Trust me on this you, you are going to want a true partner that will always have you back, especially through the hard times.)

Please, please consider what your future holds if you stay.

Were you as old as I am tho?

Who cares how old you are? Being married to a jerk is worse than being alone for the rest of your life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Attentive to you now and not to others you care about? In a few years that will translate to not attentive to you either, my friend. And don't think you can change him.

MAJOR red flag, OP. Either he is really a jerk or he has some kind of social disability like Asperger's, that will make life quite difficult for you (believe my own experience!).

Breaking off the engagement is WAY cheaper and less traumatic than divorcing him, especially if there are children and custody issues; or worse, living with him.

You've been warned!

I do feel like he is all about him. I've mentioned this to him and he says it's us, but it's always things he wants to do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Attentive to you now and not to others you care about? In a few years that will translate to not attentive to you either, my friend. And don't think you can change him.

MAJOR red flag, OP. Either he is really a jerk or he has some kind of social disability like Asperger's, that will make life quite difficult for you (believe my own experience!).

Breaking off the engagement is WAY cheaper and less traumatic than divorcing him, especially if there are children and custody issues; or worse, living with him.

You've been warned!

THIS. RUN. I dated a guy like this. You're next in line for his "not rude rude" treatment.

What is that? Does it change?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Attentive to you now and not to others you care about? In a few years that will translate to not attentive to you either, my friend. And don't think you can change him.

MAJOR red flag, OP. Either he is really a jerk or he has some kind of social disability like Asperger's, that will make life quite difficult for you (believe my own experience!).

Breaking off the engagement is WAY cheaper and less traumatic than divorcing him, especially if there are children and custody issues; or worse, living with him.

You've been warned!

THIS. RUN. I dated a guy like this. You're next in line for his "not rude rude" treatment.

What is that? Does it change?

I didn't mean it like a question, I meant what IS that. Like where does it come from? Why does he act like this?