I like someone, but we both might be too timid to make it work

[Anonymous]

I met someone that I really like, which for me just doesn't happen that often! We have lots in common, similar relationships with our families, etc. We met through mutual friends, who told me that he was interested in me. Things seemed to be starting out kinda slow between us because we were to both be in our mutual friends wedding and the bride basically forbid us to make it "weird"!

Anyway as time went on it was clear that we both liked each other and he and my friend, the bride to be, had a heart to heart where he stated that he wasn't just interested in hooking up with me but wanted to date me. After that I took some initiative and asked him to a football game. It was fun, totally didn't catch on to the fact that he doesn't like sports (he wore a jersey and had done research!) Once I found out from his friend that this was way outta character for him, I thought it was sweet that he made the effort. I was kinda hoping he would feel comfortable enough asking me out after that but it didn't happen. Then I was holding out hope that he was just waiting till after the wedding to make a move, well that was also a bust. He left early before the reception ended, blaming it on his roommate- who was avoiding a drunken bridesmaid that was all over him. In the discussion we had before he left, he mentioned something about how he and his roommate were similar, in that if a girl they liked held a gun to their head they still wouldn't make a move.

I felt like he was basically trying to tell me that he is never going to pursue me, and felt a little dejected. He wrote me a couple days later- talking about how is roommate was kicking himself all night over the girl who was all over him and that he (the guy I like) and I should play matchmaker. So here is where I go back and forth, I too am shy and it is hard to breakout of your comfort zone and risk rejection, so I get that... but I also think I deserve to have someone pursue me, not just tell my friends he likes me!! I guess I am just disappointed that this thing didn't turn out to be anything, I know in the end if it was meant to be it would have happened by now, right? Or should I try harder based on the possibility he is still interested but doesn't know how to move forward?

Sorry if this post was confusing, I don't feel comfortable confiding these feelings I have with our mutual friends at the moment and feel like maybe I need some perspective that I am not seeing about this...

[Anonymous]

Maybe your shyness is giving off mixed signals and he can't tell how you feel about him. It seems silly to potentially lose out on a great relationship because you feel like you deserve to be pursued. Do you really want to look back in a couple of years and regret it?

[Anonymous]

How old is this guy, 19?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How old is this guy, 19?

they both sound pretty young

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How old is this guy, 19?

ugh, as I typed it out I knew people would wonder... we are both in our 30's

[Anonymous]

sack up and ask him on a date date.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How old is this guy, 19?

ugh, as I typed it out I knew people would wonder... we are both in our 30's

Then you don't have much time to waste. I would be a little concerned about this behavior in a man that age, but if you no better options, then suck it up and take initiative, doesn't seem you have that much to lose.

[Anonymous]

I appreciate the posts, I guess I should just get some balls (not literally!) and ask him out.

I can see where I am sending mixed signals because I am shy. Just wasn't sure if I was over-thinking/reading into things.

[Anonymous]

Ask him out. What is the worst that can happen?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I appreciate the posts, I guess I should just get some balls (not literally!) and ask him out.

I can see where I am sending mixed signals because I am shy. Just wasn't sure if I was over-thinking/reading into things.

Give it a try or few, but don't let it drag forever.

[Anonymous]

Ya'll need to get busy.

[Anonymous]

You don't need to be pursued unless you are extremely traditional and then expect him to formally court you.

Just ask him out already. And then have a conversation about your similarities and ask him if he is interested in a dating. If he is a shy guy he probably has a far more extensive history of rejection then you do.

[Anonymous]

This guy sounds like a Beta. Is that what you want?

[Anonymous]

I'm confused. Have you guys hooked up yet?

If so, I wouldn't again unless you are okay with a Fwb situation.

If not, unless you are ok with a Fwb situation, then I would proceed slowly physically if u do ask him out.

[Anonymous]

Kinda sounds unappealing in the long run. Do you really want to work that hard? If so, ask him out.