Online Dating & sex

[Anonymous]

I met a nice guy on match, we've hit it off both physically and personality and I'm pretty sure we're going to have sex soon. We text and/or talk everyday, he seems to be into me. What bother's me is he's still on Match a lot. I realize that we're not in an exclusive relationship but I'm worried about having sex w/him and thinking that he's probably banging everyone else off match. Anyone have any advice about this?

[Anonymous]

Yes, he's balls deep in as many women as he can be. You'll be a notch on the bedpost.

[Anonymous]

If you aren't comfortable with having sex with him while he is likely having sex with others, then you need to discuss it with him. It is not at all unreasonable to expect a relationship to be at least a little committed (like as in a commitment to be exclusive, not a commitment to get married) before sex enters the picture.

You might lose him over it, but if you do, he wasn't worth keeping anyway.

[Anonymous]

guy here - yup, if he's always trolling the site while chatting/dating you, he's on the prowl.

sorry to confirm your gut feeling - maybe he'll stop once you do take the next step - but even before, and it's a tricky needle to thread w/o coming off needy, but try to have a (not THE) converstion with him about expectations of become exclusive (sounds like you want that).

[Anonymous]

If you aren't comfortable having sex while he's seeing other women, don't.

Tell him you wait until you're in an exclusive relationship for sex. If he wants to talk about where your relationship is going, you should, but don't bring it up yourself. Just let him know your standards and expectations and don't make a thing out of it.

Good men will respect you for it and players will fade out of your life.

[Anonymous]

You have to choose which side you are on. Either people date several people at once and have sex with multiple people at the same time or they date one person at a time. If you are the latter, then you need to find guys who also approach dating that way.

It's not going to work when Person A dates many, including Person B, and Person B is only dating Person A. Person B is going to start getting all sorts of jealous the second sex starts coming into things.

[Anonymous]

I don't have sex until after we have decided it is an exclusive relationship. If a guy I am dating wants to date others, fine, but he ain't sleeping with me.

[Anonymous]

Too many crazies out there. I'm in love with my rabbit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you aren't comfortable having sex while he's seeing other women, don't.

Tell him you wait until you're in an exclusive relationship for sex. If he wants to talk about where your relationship is going, you should, but don't bring it up yourself. Just let him know your standards and expectations and don't make a thing out of it.

Good men will respect you for it and players will fade out of your life.

+1
make your expectations clear and dont discuss it/make a big deal out of it.

[Anonymous]

OP, I am not clear....Have you and this man met in person yet?

Anyway, if he is still going on Match.com while talking to you everyday, then I would trust my gut that this guy is still on the prowl.

Sure, you can always have sex w/him, just don't have any expectations in the love dept. and make sure you use a condom.

If you are looking for something more than just a fling, I would keep looking.

[Anonymous]

As a guy I would make note that you are not in any "relationship" let alone exclusive. Going out on dates is a building block to one. At this stage there is no reason for you or him to not go out on dates with others. Even money says he probably thinks you are going out with other guys. Just let this or any further budding relationship work itself out without being paranoid. Did you take your profile off match.com. If you did you shouldnt have. At least not yet. For now be just be confident in yourself and enjoy the butterflies in your stomach. And remember the issue you are concerned on is not isolated to match.com.

[Anonymous]

There was a poster several months back that complained that the guy ditched her as soon as he got sex. She said they were talking/texting everyday.

If you're likely to get your feelings hurt, you should wait.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:guy here - yup, if he's always trolling the site while chatting/dating you, he's on the prowl.

sorry to confirm your gut feeling - maybe he'll stop once you do take the next step - but even before, and it's a tricky needle to thread w/o coming off needy, but try to have a (not THE) converstion with him about expectations of become exclusive (sounds like you want that).

met a woman i liked on line. Nothing compelled me to look further and I took down my profile. So yes, he's doing what his genes are telling him to do. Why not just date him for a while with no sex? If he's into you, discussing ending the online profile would be easy and natural. ...duh..

[Anonymous]

Don't expect having sex to automagically make him take his profile down. He will not change because you're giving it up.

[Anonymous]

On the bright side, any other woman he's meeting on Match might have the same reservations you do, so he might not have as many opportunities as you think. He might not be actually meeting anyone else at all, but he may just be reluctant to take down the profile because he's not sure where he sees things going with you.

Personally, I wouldn't sleep with a guy if he wasn't exclusive with me, but that's me. Not saying there's anything wrong with doing so, and not trying to slut-shame, but saying that for me, it would bug me to sleep with someone who didn't like me enough to only see me. That would make me insecure. If it's going to bother you, you should probably hold off.