12 and 14 year olds reading young adult books with sexual content

[Anonymous]

Just did a quick search on kids iPads and found books that were meant for 17+. They have very explicit sexual content. I'm absolutely mortified that my husband and I didn't catch this. Both my kids have always been avid readers...just trying to figure out how we went from Harry potter series to these steamy books! What's done is done, but trying to figure out how to approach this without overreacting.

[Anonymous]

Well, I read the Jean Auel books in 5th and 6th grade. Oops.

It was fine, I skimmed the explicit parts. Boring.

[Anonymous]

If they are young adult books, my suggestion is just to read them as well, and then talk to them about situations that come up in YA fic or that book. It's not erotica!

[Anonymous]

Kids have been doing this for years, sneaking inappropriate books and hiding them from parents.

If you are concerned, be more vigilant about spying on your kids' electronics.

[Anonymous]

Well it's pretty close to erotica. It's very explicit. We are very open in our family discussing about sexual relationships. Just wondering if other parents have come across this situation?

[Anonymous]

It's bound to happen sooner or later. Be thankful they're reading about it as opposed to watching porn (which is also bound to come sooner or later!). Don't mention it - let them explore.

[Anonymous]

I read Judy Blume in 6th grade. Puberty makes you curious.

[Anonymous]

Talk with them about it. Discuss the values that you wish to impart -- maybe things like:

This is what people do when they are old enough to handle a really close relationship. It's something I encourage you to wait until you're a real adult to do, with the right person, at the right time. Never feel pressured--or pressure. Come talk to me if you have any questions about anything at all. (And if there's some sort of relationship in the book that you think is bad, e.g., rape, irresponsible sex, harmful sex, etc.) then you can bring that up.

it's okay. It's your job. And it's the job of your kid to be mortified to talk with you... but you're breaking down barriers, so that's good!

If you're interested, check out a Seattle-based family educator who specializes on talking about the birds and the bees with kids of all ages--as appropriate for their age. You could even email her your question. She's very good!

http://www.birdsandbeesandkids.com/

[Anonymous]

I remember reading "Are You There God? It's Me Margaret" when I was quite young...still in Elementary School.

I didn't quite understand the topics discussed, but my mother didn't stop me from reading it.

If she had, trust me...I would have wanted to read it even more and would have somewhere else.

[Anonymous]

OP, what books are you talking about. Give us a couple of examples, please.

[Anonymous]

If it is not porn, who cares? Were you not curious about sex when you were 13?

[Anonymous]

I'm pretty sure I read The Happy Hooker when I was that age. Talk about eye opening for a sheltered kid! It was on my parents' bookshelf! She has sex with a dog!

Also the Jean Auel books, and the VC Andrews books. All the girls on my middle school did. I still didn't have sex til I was 18. And I'm a happily married, well adjusted adult.

[Anonymous]

I was just thinking about this yesterday. My DD is 11 and I saw her with a book that looked more grown up than anything I've seen her with before. I thought back to her age and I was reading books with sex scenes by then. I remember discussing them with my friends. I did not grow up to be promiscuous or whatever else one might worry about. In fact, I didn't have sex until college. I think it's fine, but it is a shock to see your kids reading stuff like that.

[Anonymous]

PP here. TO be clear, I don't know if the book DD is reading has sexual content, but it occurred to me that it looked grown up and might. She did mention it's also available as a graphic novel, so I'm assuming it doesn't have sex. But it gave me the chance to think about it.

[Anonymous]

I think I read "forever" and the other just Blume books by 5th/6th grade. Is this really an issue for the ages you are citing? People used to marry by 14. They can't read books with sexual content? The issue isn't the content as much as you not being aware. Read what your kids read. It sparks conversations.