12 and 14 year olds reading young adult books with sexual content

[Anonymous]

I read a lot of book with sexual content in them at that age and I've turned out fine and have only ever been with my husband. I think kids reading about this kind of stuff is a lot healthier than learning about it in other ways.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I read a lot of book with sexual content in them at that age and I've turned out fine and have only ever been with my husband. I think kids reading about this kind of stuff is a lot healthier than learning about it in other ways.

Totally agree, and the same is true for me as well.

[Anonymous]

I read Lolita at that age, not to mention several Robert Heinlein and Efraim Sevela books featuring adult men with 13-year-old girls. Talk about inappropriate. I turned out fine.

[Anonymous]

As my very brilliant, super intellectual, read anything-he-could-get-his-hands-on, physician grandfather said to my mother back in the 80's when I was a teenager. "No one turns into a bad kid from reading books".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As my very brilliant, super intellectual, read anything-he-could-get-his-hands-on, physician grandfather said to my mother back in the 80's when I was a teenager. "No one turns into a bad kid from reading books".[/quote]

Bingo. I think reading might be one of the safest, most "gentle" ways for kids to satisfy their curiosity about these kinds of things.

[Anonymous]

I think 14 is fine, but 12 seems a little on the young side depending on how far the books are going. The cat's out of the bag, the only thing you can do now is to talk about it. I personally think tweens and young teens are more naive than we were in the old days about sexual content, but technology makes it so much easier to access and distribute.

[Anonymous]

OP, this may be a good time to step back and ease up on control a bit. Its an important process that should happen gradually over the teen years. most experts say that as long as kids are reading its a good thing even if the books seem mature or are junk.

[Anonymous]

By sixth grade I was reading adult books and lots of them had explicit content. No harm done.

[Anonymous]

By 12 puberty has likely arrived and they're curious about their bodies and sex. I read are you there god, and forever at that age and didn't have sex til college. I learned what an orgasm was from the book and finally understood why sometimes it felt good when I rubbed a certain way.

I agree with reading what theyre reading in order to open conversations and correct any mis information or consequences to things like unprotected sex. By 12 they need to know the facts anyway before they learn the wrong stuff from friends.

[Anonymous]

I'm another one who was definitely reading books with some adult content (VC Andrews!) in middle school. I remember a family debate when I was 13 about whether I should be allowed to read Pillars of the Earth (dork alert), which has a pretty explicit rape scene. Ultimately, my parents decided I could read it, but talked to me about that section ahead of time and suggested I skip it (um, right, like I was going to skip the part that had everyone in a tizzy!).

I turned out fine.

[Anonymous]

As a parent, I am less concerned about books with explicit content and more concerned with the cultural values about sex modeled around the explicit content. I am more disturbed by a non-explicit Harlequin romance, rather than say an Erica Jong book (dating myself with that reference, I know). But, whatever she's reading, I'm not going to tell my daughter not to read it, that would turn it into a magnet. It's just an opportunity to talk about whether I/she likes the book and why.

[Anonymous]

I read Judy Blume and VC Andrews in middle school and my classmates were also reading them, also read Happy Hooker. I wouldn't worry about censoring what they read. Agree with PP that if you tell your kid they can't read something it's gonna become a magnet

[Anonymous]

The children can read whatever they want as long as it's not perverted/coerced sex or torture. Normal sex? Fine, and we can discuss it.

That was my mother's rule and it will be mine too. My friend, as a young teen, quietly read the Marquis de Sade's memoirs (French libertine who tortured prostitutes - origin of the word sadism), and was pretty traumatized for a while.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As my very brilliant, super intellectual, read anything-he-could-get-his-hands-on, physician grandfather said to my mother back in the 80's when I was a teenager. "No one turns into a bad kid from reading books".

Love it ! I read all the VC Andrews, Jean Auel etc. as a very avid middle school reader. No major life long issues here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think 14 is fine, but 12 seems a little on the young side depending on how far the books are going. The cat's out of the bag, the only thing you can do now is to talk about it. I personally think tweens and young teens are more naive than we were in the old days about sexual content, but technology makes it so much easier to access and distribute.

Oh mom.

Compliments of the internet and her friends, your 12 year old knows far more about these things than you could ever imagine.