The real reason for our infertility

[Anonymous]

So, I don't ever tell anyone (best friends, my mom) the real reason for our infertility. I say it is my job "stress," but the truth is that while my husband and I have a fairly decent, enjoyable, and active sex life, he has trouble finishing during intercourse. He can finish, but not every time, and usually not from intercourse alone. We have a referral for Shady Grove (I commented on the "39 year old's fertility" thread) and we already did the basic testing. My tubes are open, my egg reserve is fine, I am ovulating monthly, his sperm count is fine, they are shaped properly, and they can swim. All looks good - but if sperm can't get to egg... we won't get pregnant.

I am seriously considering using OPK's and the turket baster method at home. I think my DH thinks I'm crazy - but AI or IUI in the doctor's office seems much worse. Has anyone tried this?

[Anonymous]

No, but seems perfectly logical to me.

[Anonymous]

When you say he doesn't finish from inter course alone, how else is he finishing?

[Anonymous]

By a quick hand job or blow job. I know it's weird, but until we really wanted to TTC - it didn't matter much.

[Anonymous]

Do IUI. It's quick and easy.

[Anonymous]

Turkey baster

[Anonymous]

Have you tried sex first thing in the morning? Worked for us.

[Anonymous]

Try the free way first and if that doesn't work, go for IUI.

[Anonymous]

I don't think this is that uncommon, (really) so hopefully he is not feeling too bad about it. I had an IUI and it seemed pretty straightforward. I never tried the at home method but I think it is worth a try, since it felt kind of annoying to pay so much for something that basically took no effort on the part of the docs. (or nurse, anyway -doc did not even bother doing it.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Have you tried sex first thing in the morning? Worked for us.

Op here - The mornings are definitely better, but it still can take a while. I have to leave for work by 7:15 Mon-Fri and have't figured out a way to make AM sex happen every other day during the target week and still be at work on time. I thought I got lucky as our August vacation week coincided with the TTC time, so we had time for long morning sex, but did not end in a BFP.

For those suggesting turkey basters - has anyone actually done it with success?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't think this is that uncommon, (really) so hopefully he is not feeling too bad about it. I had an IUI and it seemed pretty straightforward. I never tried the at home method but I think it is worth a try, since it felt kind of annoying to pay so much for something that basically took no effort on the part of the docs. (or nurse, anyway -doc did not even bother doing it.)

Op again - Thanks for this. In general, our sex life is okay so neither of us feel too bad.

What you are saying is what I am thinking about IUI, but no one really ever says they have managed to get pregnant the at home way. (Probably no one wants to talk about it because the "problem" is so personal, right.)

[Anonymous]

We have the same issue, OP. Combined with my longish cycles, it is a real problem. We have been trying >1 year. Hubby wasn't open to the turkey baster method so we froze his sperm (just in case) and are doing clomid IUI next cycle. I think that AI at home is worth a shot though -- GL!

[Anonymous]

You can absolutely be successful this way. Google self-insemination. Good luck!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't think this is that uncommon, (really) so hopefully he is not feeling too bad about it. I had an IUI and it seemed pretty straightforward. I never tried the at home method but I think it is worth a try, since it felt kind of annoying to pay so much for something that basically took no effort on the part of the docs. (or nurse, anyway -doc did not even bother doing it.)

I am not sure how is doctor's effort relevant. The bottom line is, you can't do IUi yourself. It's better than TB because it puts sperms closer and also, timing is usually better.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't think this is that uncommon, (really) so hopefully he is not feeling too bad about it. I had an IUI and it seemed pretty straightforward. I never tried the at home method but I think it is worth a try, since it felt kind of annoying to pay so much for something that basically took no effort on the part of the docs. (or nurse, anyway -doc did not even bother doing it.)

Op again - Thanks for this. In general, our sex life is okay so neither of us feel too bad.

What you are saying is what I am thinking about IUI, but no one really ever says they have managed to get pregnant the at home way. (Probably no one wants to talk about it because the "problem" is so personal, right.)

Well, that makes at least 3 of us with this issue! We started TTC when I was 38. He was a champ for a few months, but I think the lack of success hit his ego big time and our sex life since then has been absolutely abysmal. No such thing as a quickie in this house. His sperm also have low count & poor morphology, so that elusive surprise BFP would never happen even if he could finish. After 6 IUIs, 2 IVFs and 2 birthdays we are finally pregnant on our 1st DE IVF.

My advice would be to not waste time tinkering with the at-home method. You have the referral to SG--use it and do a few IUIs. Hindsight is 20/20; looking back with his MFI, we should've gone straight to IVF. Without insurance for anything IF related hat seemed like a big investment, but what we've learned since then is that we'll do whatever it takes to expand our family. GL to you!