This Happens Only Once a Month...Argh!!
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Anonymous
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Women might understand this more than you men, so if any men are reading this post, bear with me here.
So, I am going through a break-up. It was a mutual break-up, no one dumped anyone and there are no third parties involved. We both pretty much agreed that we just couldn't be together anymore and so we split about three months ago. It's not a nasty, messy break-up. No threatening, stalking, harassing, etc. There has been no contact on either end. My issue? Normally I am happy and content with things. When I was with my former boyfriend, I just wasn't happy for a multitude of reasons. Long story. I do not regret my decision at all and am one hundred percent confident I made the correct choice as did he in ending things. My quality of life is so much better now. I no longer feel I have to walk on eggshells. I can do whatever I want, whenever I want and am enjoying being single and independent. However, every month...when I have my period, I start to really miss him. A lot. ONLY during my period. I start to remember only the "good times" we had. The times we used to hug, kiss and snuggle. I remember the sweet things he used to tell me and how comforting and secure our relationship made me feel at the time. Then I start to want him back. I am so tempted to pick up the phone and call him just to either a). Hear his voice answer or b). Listen to his voice message recording. I have to practice so much willpower to stop myself. Last night, I almost gave in, but my sister luckily came over. Here I sit tonight, thinking about him. I know this is only temporary and by the time my period ends, I will be wondering to myself, "What the hell was I ever thinking??!" like I always do. TMI Alert: My periods are usually very heavy in duration and last about five to six days. |
Anonymous
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I can help you forget him...
But in all seriousness, I hope you can get your mind on other things for the next few days! |
Anonymous
| Write down the reasons why you weren't good together. Take the list out during that time of the month. |
Anonymous
| love that idea above |
Anonymous
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Beware of anything that seems like clarity when you're low on progesterone.
I feel you OP. Just keep telling yourself that those feelings will pass. I tend to obsess about things during PMS too...such a bad combo! |
Anonymous
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Ohhh, OP I hear you! The things I think of around my period....anyhow, here's an idea of how to take your mind off him around that time.
Schedule something for yourself like, curling up with a favorite snack and catching up on a tv show or movie or book. It'll take your mind off him and give your body rest too so you'll feel better faster. Are you on hormonal birth control? That could be causing the heavy periods. I can't use it, myself, it makes it really bad mentlly and physically for me. |
Anonymous
Ha, I never experienced this, but when I want to have sex with every man I meet around ovulation I know it's a phase and I should chill out. 
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Anonymous
| Imagine him talking to you in baby talk (or you to him) and laugh off your hormonal self. |
Anonymous
| You are probably missing that feeling of comfort and security more than anything else, and the feeling that you had with him before things went south. But it's totally normal to remember only the good things as time goes by, especially when you're feeling lonely. Just know that the feelings will pass, and remember that you wouldn't have broken up with him if things had been salvageable. There are good moments in every relationship, even the abusive, toxic ones, and it's human nature for those to stand out when one is vulnerable. |
Anonymous
So true! Old, young, you name it. . . they all look good for about 3 days and I take it out on my husband. |
Anonymous
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Something similar happens to me TWO times a month, with my period and when I am ovulating; so about every two weeks for about 48 hours each time. My husband and I went through some serious stuff about a year ago and with a lot of work from both sides, counseling and good will we are doing great. I am very happy we stuck together and love him dearly. But during those crazy hormonal days I completely lose it. I question every decision, magnify every little thing, my expectations become insane and I get upset if they are not met, I cry when I hit a red light....Totally nuts.
I hate it. Rationally I know what it going on, but emotionally I become a wreak. I don' t use hormonal BC because of migraines and circulatory issues. I have talked about it with my gyno, regular doctor and therapist and no one has a good answer for me. My gyno said that sometimes they recommend the pill to "normalize" insane hormonal fluctuation but in my case it would be contraindicated and that some time ago they would prescribe Prozac for certain days a month but that they do not do that anymore (can not remember why). I recently started to work with homeopath/acupuncturist and it has helped a bit. I have only been through one cycle since I started but I did feel a bit better. So sorry OP, I have no tips for you. I just try to cram myself with activities during those days and allow myself to feel miserable for a bit and try very hard not to act upon any crazy thought. I like the list idea a PP gave you. I have a similar one with all the reasons I value my marriage and my husband and read a lot during those days. It really does help. Take care. |
Anonymous
Actually we women look better/are desired more around ovulation time too so it works both ways! Yay! |
Anonymous
| OP, this sounds familiar to me! Before I got my IUD, when I used to actually get a period, there were about 2 days every month when I forced a "waiting period" on myself for any remotely emotional texts, calls or emails. I wasn't allowed to respond to exes or people with whom I was likely to get overwrought. (other than for responding to time-sensitive questions, etc.) It really helped. It's good that you recognize that you are more emotional during certain times of the month - try not to make big decisions during that time if you can help it! |
Anonymous
| As I understand PUA "Game" theory, women like more alpha dominance (including rougher sex) around ovulation and more beta support around menstruation. Maybe your feelings are related to that. |
Anonymous
Same here - but I only noticed it when I went off birth control. My tubes are now tied (thank god!) and it's a regular monthly occurrence. |