Lessons learned so far: 2024-2025

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It is much better to be a big fish in a small pond. The top 10% - 20% at less rigorous HS do much better in college admissions than the top 40% - 50% at the most rigorous ones. With a lot less work and stress.

Hoping this is true as it is our situation. Looking at the schools attended by kids year or two ahead of us, it seems to be accurate.

[Anonymous]

Do not tell other parents where your kid is applying. Tell your kid to not talk about grades with other kids.

There are some really sick parents trying to nose around in other kid’s business to determine chances for their own child. Often times they are wrong, but claim to know everyone’s GPA. They will trash talk anyone they see as a threat.

Root for your kid. Applaud acceptances among all the kids. You’ll be happier, as will your child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It is much better to be a big fish in a small pond. The top 10% - 20% at less rigorous HS do much better in college admissions than the top 40% - 50% at the most rigorous ones. With a lot less work and stress.

+1 I try to alert parents considering magnet programs about this. Choose the magnet for the quality of the education and strong college preparation NOT because it will help with college admissions. The opposite is usually the case.

[Anonymous]

There are AMAZING tips on this thread. Read them all..

Extra thoughts:
1) The college application process is a marathon and really need to have a plan and schedule to meet deadlines and maintain sanity. I used an old school notebook and my dh used a google spreadsheet.
2) Time management: Try to cut down on fall commitments of senior year if you can. Don't take more classes than you need. The extra time needed to write strong essays, plus the academic pressure to do well in the first semester is huge. Highly selective schools require first quarter senior grades if applying EA or ED. And all RD schools ask for first senester grades. My kid dropped down a level in math first semester of senior year bc did very poorly on an early exam - and not enough time to improve the q1 grade. It was a super stressful decision but the right one. Despite getting an early start on essays over the summer, my kid spent every fall weekend and free moment on college apps and schoolwork. The EA/ED deadlines are oct15/Nov 1 and RD due around Jan 1. Between school, apps and ECs, my kid was exhausted. 1st semester senior year was tougher than expected.
3) Managing expectations: we made sure dc had a well balanced list and we tried to talk up benefits of the likely and target schools. We were also clear that many reach schools on dc list were high stress and "highly rejective'. Nonetheless, kids hear a lot of outside messaging and our kid gravitated toward the reach schools and it was hard to get them excited about the others. Thankfully they got into their 1st choice, but our talking points at home tried to elevate strength of program and fit vs prestige/rank.
4) Extra support: we did not use a private college counselor because we thought we were capable of doing the research, school list, strategic thinking about major and narrative ourselves. However, we did get outside support for test prep (was a good investment as the higher score resulted in merit $). And also hired an essay person by the hour to help keep our kid on track and helped alleviate stress at home since I wasn't the one bugging about finishing essays.
5) there is a lot of chatter and gossip at school, and I told my kid to stay quiet and to focus on themselves only. There is also stress when 1 friend gets accepted and another does not. I tell my kid frequently that I love them and that the respect I have for them and their value is not at all based on college admission. They appreciated that.

[Anonymous]

If I were to do it again I would have done the applications myself and applied more widely. I feel like ds was so adamant he wanted in state at the time and I listened to what he wanted. It was a mistake.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There are AMAZING tips on this thread. Read them all..

Extra thoughts:
1) The college application process is a marathon and really need to have a plan and schedule to meet deadlines and maintain sanity. I used an old school notebook and my dh used a google spreadsheet.
2) Time management: Try to cut down on fall commitments of senior year if you can. Don't take more classes than you need. The extra time needed to write strong essays, plus the academic pressure to do well in the first semester is huge. Highly selective schools require first quarter senior grades if applying EA or ED. And all RD schools ask for first senester grades. My kid dropped down a level in math first semester of senior year bc did very poorly on an early exam - and not enough time to improve the q1 grade. It was a super stressful decision but the right one. Despite getting an early start on essays over the summer, my kid spent every fall weekend and free moment on college apps and schoolwork. The EA/ED deadlines are oct15/Nov 1 and RD due around Jan 1. Between school, apps and ECs, my kid was exhausted. 1st semester senior year was tougher than expected.
3) Managing expectations: we made sure dc had a well balanced list and we tried to talk up benefits of the likely and target schools. We were also clear that many reach schools on dc list were high stress and "highly rejective'. Nonetheless, kids hear a lot of outside messaging and our kid gravitated toward the reach schools and it was hard to get them excited about the others. Thankfully they got into their 1st choice, but our talking points at home tried to elevate strength of program and fit vs prestige/rank.
4) Extra support: we did not use a private college counselor because we thought we were capable of doing the research, school list, strategic thinking about major and narrative ourselves. However, we did get outside support for test prep (was a good investment as the higher score resulted in merit $). And also hired an essay person by the hour to help keep our kid on track and helped alleviate stress at home since I wasn't the one bugging about finishing essays.
5) there is a lot of chatter and gossip at school, and I told my kid to stay quiet and to focus on themselves only. There is also stress when 1 friend gets accepted and another does not. I tell my kid frequently that I love them and that the respect I have for them and their value is not at all based on college admission. They appreciated that.

agree. this post should be "stickied". And required reading for every new person here. So many answers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In RD, it rarely works out for "oversubscribed" majors (CS, engineering, applied math, business, biology or pre-med). It often DOES work out in RD for niche, creative or humanities majors.

Is this because in RD they are "shaping the class" and figuring out what they are missing? So like the other post on majors and positioning, if they are missing Jewish Studies majors or Medieval Studies majors that's when they add them? And take out the CS?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Boys have an easier admission to LACs, but they DO NOT have an easier admission to business schools and engineering. Example, the upper middle class, northern Virginia white boy with college educated parents who tries to apply to Virginia Tech for business. Better have impeccable stats. Meanwhile, a girl in his class with much lower stats got accepted for a Classics major.

Kid is fine and doing well at an oos school w a great business program, but don’t tell me that all boys have it easier.

Business/ CS / Engineering are male-dominated majors.

Makes sense.

Anybody know if the gender divide applies to other majors? Like I would imagine if a female just HAS to go to a certain college, applying as a philosophy major would be a good strategy. And guys in same situation might want to apply as French majors.

Yes and no. Philosophy and history are not necessarily undersubscribed — and almost never as undersubscribed as any other humanities major. In that sense, being a female philosophy major (although philosophy is a “guy” major) probably gives less of an edge than being a female French major (which is almost exclusively female); with often 2-3 French majors a year, at best, many of these departments are in serious trouble.

To be sure, a genuine male French major would be a unicorn. But I would assume AOs are suspicious of the male actually majoring in French once admitted. To say the least, the male would likely have to do more than take AP French and be co-President of the French club to make that narrative convincing (and other issues to: did the kid take lots of science, computer science, econ and other electives vs, say, a second foreign language, AP music, art etc.?).

A female may not have quite as high a bar of suspicion to overcome. Not only because all modern languages are female-dominated (classics is more balanced), but French is traditionally the most female-dominated— that whole wistful Paris thing.

Philosophy is a male major? Who knew! Is there a list somewhere of gender breakdown by major?

College Raptor does it I think. Varies by school but history and philosophy are not overwhelmingly male in a lot of instances. English and every other humanity is overwhelmingly female.

[Anonymous]

Maybe it’s just my kids, but it was way more parental support than I expected. Between remembering deadlines, helping with all the admissions ways each school does things, managing visits and talking through all the highs and lows of the range of emotions, it’s just an exhausting process. I know it doesn’t have to be that way but it was for us. So glad we’re just about done.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Boys have an easier admission to LACs, but they DO NOT have an easier admission to business schools and engineering. Example, the upper middle class, northern Virginia white boy with college educated parents who tries to apply to Virginia Tech for business. Better have impeccable stats. Meanwhile, a girl in his class with much lower stats got accepted for a Classics major.

Kid is fine and doing well at an oos school w a great business program, but don’t tell me that all boys have it easier.

Business/ CS / Engineering are male-dominated majors.

Makes sense.

Anybody know if the gender divide applies to other majors? Like I would imagine if a female just HAS to go to a certain college, applying as a philosophy major would be a good strategy. And guys in same situation might want to apply as French majors.

A lot more women are studying CS now. So women do not have an advantage with that major at most colleges now.

Engineering, including Computer Engineering, still is very short of women. In that sense, a woman might be better off in Computer Engineering than CS.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Boys have an easier admission to LACs, but they DO NOT have an easier admission to business schools and engineering. Example, the upper middle class, northern Virginia white boy with college educated parents who tries to apply to Virginia Tech for business. Better have impeccable stats. Meanwhile, a girl in his class with much lower stats got accepted for a Classics major.

Kid is fine and doing well at an oos school w a great business program, but don’t tell me that all boys have it easier.

Business/ CS / Engineering are male-dominated majors.

Makes sense.

Anybody know if the gender divide applies to other majors? Like I would imagine if a female just HAS to go to a certain college, applying as a philosophy major would be a good strategy. And guys in same situation might want to apply as French majors.

A lot more women are studying CS now. So women do not have an advantage with that major at most colleges now.

Engineering, including Computer Engineering, still is very short of women. In that sense, a woman might be better off in Computer Engineering than CS.

Best bet is applying to a major where there are few graduates, but a robust list of faculty.....
YCBK actually talked about it this past week with reference to Duke.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is much better to be a big fish in a small pond. The top 10% - 20% at less rigorous HS do much better in college admissions than the top 40% - 50% at the most rigorous ones. With a lot less work and stress.

+1 I try to alert parents considering magnet programs about this. Choose the magnet for the quality of the education and strong college preparation NOT because it will help with college admissions. The opposite is usually the case.

+1

DC was selected to magnet, and we wanted that because frankly, the non-magnet public education was subpar. The college admissions stuff will take care of itself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The person reading essays is likely a liberal millennial and has a high chance of being female. Cater your essays accordingly.

oooh. good tip!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is there any situation barring finances that you can think of where it makes sense for a kid to turn down an Ivy in favor of a strong state school (think UT, UVA, UNC) in this current climate? What if the kid is worried about politics or campus culture? Do they just stick it out bc they are all but guaranteed to get a good job in 4 years?

For HYPS, or for MIT/CalTech, our answer would be skip the in-state school.

For Columbia, Dartmouth, or Brown, we would prefer UVa or W&M. We are in VA.

Caveat: We are not a religious minority. If we were Jewish, as some good family friends are, safety of our DC would be the #1 consideration for where to attend. This is NOT in any way fair, but it is reality.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:SAT score really matters.

To a certain extent yes. But once you hit at certain level, nope getting higher does not matter.

The touchy-feely admissions officer thinking “I really like this kid” based on their essays, activities and background matters more than everyone thinks. It is a rational decision to a point but more emotion involved than there should be.

Yes but it must feel authentic and not made up.
Like you want to root for this kid. The kid makes you laugh. Has uncommon experiences or take on something. You see something familiar in him/her? Something you haven’t seen in a bunch of other applications.

Good essays, LOR and activities can absolutely do this.

+1. This is my kid, he’s a quirky, smart, ND kid. NSMF, high stats but not crazy rigor. All his IB classes were humanities not math or science. Geeky passions, many of which are long term ones.

Funny essay about his love for the Roman Empire and fascination with certain figures.

Already in at several targets and safeties with merit, waiting on reaches now.

Keep us posted. Your kid, and his love for the Roman Empire, sounds awesome, unique and memorable. Hopefully his major was a humanities one!!!