girlfriend on family vacation?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For those of you that travel with friends, do you pay for your own way or do you say you'll come but only if they pay for you?

We have paid for friends for trips before. Celebrated a big birthday in Europe for my spouse and brought along 6 other couples. We paid for the housing, meals and wine tours.

Most trips everyone pays their own way, but we have a few friends who could not afford some of the trips we take and we like to vacation with them. So we pay for housing and most meals when we travel with them---normally it's a VRBO/AirBnB situation.
But I get we are not the norm---until we hit UHNW we did not pay for others

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If I offer money for travel to my child, why does that offer extend to an adult women that is not my child? Weird expectation from an unrelated adult to another adult.

I think if they are married it's weird. I would feel really hurt if my mil was like son ill pay for your way but your wife is on her own.

It should be presented like, "son I have $1000 to give towards your family now use it how you will but this is what I can afford to give you."

Not, "son I will pay for your but your wife/my dil doesn't count as family so I will not pay for her she is on her own "

Just dating no I absolutely agree with you there should be no expectation of paying for the bf/gf

[Anonymous]

Its not that OP's GF is expecting or asking for it, these are all assumptions at this point. That being said, if son wasn't a serial monogamist, probably OP would take his GF more seriously and would want to include her.

[Anonymous]

I don’t get all the posts saying that son is an adult now and doesn’t want to go on vacation with his parents. I’m in my 40s and would still happily go on an expensive vacation with my parents. (Not only is is built in childcare, but I enjoy spending time with them.)

But yes, invite the girlfriend. If they break up, they break up. It’s not worth fighting over.

[Anonymous]

Every time I see the "Girlfriend on family vacation" title pop up in Recent Topics, it makes me hum "Midnight at the Oasis," and I think that is funny.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t get all the posts saying that son is an adult now and doesn’t want to go on vacation with his parents. I’m in my 40s and would still happily go on an expensive vacation with my parents. (Not only is is built in childcare, but I enjoy spending time with them.)

But yes, invite the girlfriend. If they break up, they break up. It’s not worth fighting over.

Yes---if my kids hit the point they are living with a SO, then to them it's serous so I will treat each SO as if they could be the one and treat them as if they are my SO-IL

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t get all the posts saying that son is an adult now and doesn’t want to go on vacation with his parents. I’m in my 40s and would still happily go on an expensive vacation with my parents. (Not only is is built in childcare, but I enjoy spending time with them.)

But yes, invite the girlfriend. If they break up, they break up. It’s not worth fighting over.

Yes---if my kids hit the point they are living with a SO, then to them it's serous so I will treat each SO as if they could be the one and treat them as if they are my SO-IL

Well, with a high turnover, you can't blame parents for questioning use of their retirement money. If OP's kid wants his GF to be taken seriously, first he himself should take her seriously.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t get all the posts saying that son is an adult now and doesn’t want to go on vacation with his parents. I’m in my 40s and would still happily go on an expensive vacation with my parents. (Not only is is built in childcare, but I enjoy spending time with them.)

But yes, invite the girlfriend. If they break up, they break up. It’s not worth fighting over.

Yes---if my kids hit the point they are living with a SO, then to them it's serous so I will treat each SO as if they could be the one and treat them as if they are my SO-IL

Well, with a high turnover, you can't blame parents for questioning use of their retirement money. If OP's kid wants his GF to be taken seriously, first he himself should take her seriously.

If they can’t afford to take all adult children and SOs, then they should scale back the trip or not do it at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t get all the posts saying that son is an adult now and doesn’t want to go on vacation with his parents. I’m in my 40s and would still happily go on an expensive vacation with my parents. (Not only is is built in childcare, but I enjoy spending time with them.)

But yes, invite the girlfriend. If they break up, they break up. It’s not worth fighting over.

Yes---if my kids hit the point they are living with a SO, then to them it's serous so I will treat each SO as if they could be the one and treat them as if they are my SO-IL

Well, with a high turnover, you can't blame parents for questioning use of their retirement money. If OP's kid wants his GF to be taken seriously, first he himself should take her seriously.

If they can’t afford to take all adult children and SOs, then they should scale back the trip or not do it at all.

I think this applies more if they are married. Why should I have to treat my child's bf or gf equal to my child?

Your point would apply if your argument was if you can't afford to pay for all your children then you should scale back on the trip or not do it at all.

Like it wouldn't be fair to only pay for your oldest son but not your youngest son but that doesn't apply to their bf/gf

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t get all the posts saying that son is an adult now and doesn’t want to go on vacation with his parents. I’m in my 40s and would still happily go on an expensive vacation with my parents. (Not only is is built in childcare, but I enjoy spending time with them.)

But yes, invite the girlfriend. If they break up, they break up. It’s not worth fighting over.

Yes---if my kids hit the point they are living with a SO, then to them it's serous so I will treat each SO as if they could be the one and treat them as if they are my SO-IL

Well, with a high turnover, you can't blame parents for questioning use of their retirement money. If OP's kid wants his GF to be taken seriously, first he himself should take her seriously.

If they can’t afford to take all adult children and SOs, then they should scale back the trip or not do it at all.

I think this applies more if they are married. Why should I have to treat my child's bf or gf equal to my child?

Your point would apply if your argument was if you can't afford to pay for all your children then you should scale back on the trip or not do it at all.

Like it wouldn't be fair to only pay for your oldest son but not your youngest son but that doesn't apply to their bf/gf

If its a serious BF/GF of 1+ year, I would include them as a potential SIL/DIL.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t get all the posts saying that son is an adult now and doesn’t want to go on vacation with his parents. I’m in my 40s and would still happily go on an expensive vacation with my parents. (Not only is is built in childcare, but I enjoy spending time with them.)

But yes, invite the girlfriend. If they break up, they break up. It’s not worth fighting over.

Yes---if my kids hit the point they are living with a SO, then to them it's serous so I will treat each SO as if they could be the one and treat them as if they are my SO-IL

Well, with a high turnover, you can't blame parents for questioning use of their retirement money. If OP's kid wants his GF to be taken seriously, first he himself should take her seriously.

If they can’t afford to take all adult children and SOs, then they should scale back the trip or not do it at all.

I think this applies more if they are married. Why should I have to treat my child's bf or gf equal to my child?

Your point would apply if your argument was if you can't afford to pay for all your children then you should scale back on the trip or not do it at all.

Like it wouldn't be fair to only pay for your oldest son but not your youngest son but that doesn't apply to their bf/gf

If its a serious BF/GF of 1+ year, I would include them as a potential SIL/DIL.

+1

IMO if my kid is living with their BF/GF then it's a serious relationship. At that point I'm considering them a potential SIL/DIL. So you offer to pay for everything (if you can) or offer to pay $X towards the trip or offer to pay for housing but mention meals and all activities are on you. What you don't do is offer to fully pay for your "own kid" and not pay anything for their BF/GF. That would be a slap in the face if married and would be as well with a serious BF/GF/someone you are living with