How do people afford it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My children went through private K-8 and now are in a private HS (the 50k ones). I would not scrimp and save to put them in private with the good schools around here. We have a very high net worth where we can easily afford it, but if I were you I would go public all the way. Put that money into retirement.

I totally agree with this. Having one kid in both public and private and we can swing it without much impact to our life, but private is not the panacea many who pay for it make it out to be. There's alot of great public options. Move if you have to and make public work.

This response always gets me. How is it easier for people to move to a better school district than to afford private? Housing prices in many better school districts are astronomical. I'm in a not so great school district and our housing is still insane. Additionally just moving affects so many other parts of your life than just school. What about commute? What about friends? Activities? This is not the easy answer people on here seem to think it is.

+100

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our oldest and their spouse make the same as OP and sent their kid to public elementary school EOTP. After concluding reluctantly that the local middle and high schools weren’t viable options, they started playing the lottery and applying to privates. It was the last thing they wanted to do because they really didn’t want their kids going to school with a bunch of rich kids, plus they honestly didn’t want to put such a huge dent in their lifestyle. There are lots of things that can be done with kids with that kind of money that can benefit their growth just as much as private education.

Long story short, their kid got into several well known privates in DC but with virtually no financial aid. One very good school upped their offer to $10k in the end, but that still left a price tag of $40k plus and would only go up and they didn’t want to pay it. In the end, they sweated through the lottery and landed at a good option.

We have a lot more money than they do and we are very close with our grandkids. They never asked us to help and we never considered it. I think they knew we shared their philosophical revulsion at the idea of elite private schooling and also knew that we knew it was their choice entirely to live in the school district where they do.

Move along…

NP. It’s philosophically revolting yes. And if I were a parent who had to rely on my parents to pay my child’s private school tuition I’d be embarrassed.

I’m not the least bit embarrassed. The three kids have trust funds for all of their needs and they add to it every year. You don’t think money is passed down from generation to generation?

This is us as well and I confused about what to be embarrassed about? How else are they going to effectively estate plan?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t see how you can afford that. We have similar income but paid off mortgage, and no way do I think we could afford private for our kids without going on a very tight budget everywhere else in our life.

At $450k with $80k as our largest expense we make it work. We have a small house with a very low mortgage and interest rate, no other major expenses. We are pretty frugal and do mostly vacations driving to visit family and watch all of our day to day expenses. It’s not that comfortable but it’s do-able.

What kind of a cushion do you have if you or your spouse was laid off? Or are you both in very secure jobs (fed, physician)? I wasn't comfortable paying for private until I knew I had enough savings that I'd be ok if I were laid off at age 50 and never got another job at anything new my current salary.

We are in very secure jobs and have saved a good amount for retirement and college but if one of us somehow got laid off our kids would go to public school. We could afford the rest of our current lifestyle with one salary but we consider private a luxury and it would be the first thing to go.

Private school is the first to go? Sad that education is so unimportant to you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t see how you can afford that. We have similar income but paid off mortgage, and no way do I think we could afford private for our kids without going on a very tight budget everywhere else in our life.

At $450k with $80k as our largest expense we make it work. We have a small house with a very low mortgage and interest rate, no other major expenses. We are pretty frugal and do mostly vacations driving to visit family and watch all of our day to day expenses. It’s not that comfortable but it’s do-able.

What kind of a cushion do you have if you or your spouse was laid off? Or are you both in very secure jobs (fed, physician)? I wasn't comfortable paying for private until I knew I had enough savings that I'd be ok if I were laid off at age 50 and never got another job at anything new my current salary.

We are in very secure jobs and have saved a good amount for retirement and college but if one of us somehow got laid off our kids would go to public school. We could afford the rest of our current lifestyle with one salary but we consider private a luxury and it would be the first thing to go.

Private school is the first to go? Sad that education is so unimportant to you.

Education is extremely important to me, which is why we're spending $80k of our $450k income on tuition. It's our largest expense, next is our mortgage. But if one of us lost a job and our income was cut in half I'm not sure what else we could cut, hopefully that never happens.

[Anonymous]

Minority here- we pay full tuition , we’ve never received FA. Don’t assume that the people of color at privates are on FA.
We don’t have generational wealth but we have good jobs and we prioritize school over others things. So no I don t have a fancy car and a big house. That’s how we afford it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nope, it's super hard, sorry op. If you are a minority, you may be able to get fa. Otherwise, if you have more than one kid in private it will be hard.

Please stop.
The minorities at these schools are either UC or UMC.
FA has nothing to do with being a minority.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Private schools are not worth it. Don't buy in - your kids can get a completely fine education and get into great colleges from any public school. It's about the kid. The school does not matter. Teachers at private schools are just as bad and good as at public schools. Private schools in this area are so overpriced. I wish I had not sent mine to these ridiculously overpriced schools that were nothing special. Maybe they were a bit cleaner and had better facilities and smaller class sizes - but that's it. Definitely not worth the 50K/yr plus all the dumb donations and other costs of attendance.

+1000

Signed, private school parent

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Obviously nothing is a guarantee- but if your kid is brilliant and really excels at what is considered an average public school - they can certainly still get into Ivy League schools. You don't need to pay for these overpriced privates if you can't afford it.

IF your kid is perfect - well adjusted socially, a self-starter who knows what they are with a strong sense of self and confidence, someone who does not have the slightest learning disability and is mature enough to navigate some public schools which are a mess - both environmentally, with bad crowds, with messed up kids and with high volume classes - then I 1000% agree with you that public is all you need. And we have a number of friends with kids like this. Mine aren't. They are sweet and sensitive, one has dyslexia and ADHD and they really would not be served well in public. So for you to judge me as a parent who loves my kids and want to give them the best I can for their life for the next 6 years left in their academic career prior to college, yeah, go ahead and judge. I just hope that one day something doesn't happen to your family where you don't need more help in some capacity.

PS - It's also akin in a less dramatic metaphor - when you go on holiday, you can stay at a nice hostel and be perfectly well housed. You may sleep in a crappy bed and kinda worry that you're not going to wake up to bedbugs and not be necessarily 100% comfortable but hey, you got a roof over your head while you are on your "nice" vacation. I personally would want to stay in a nicer place. So yeah, private school is maybe that nicer place where it'll cost more for sure but the right place will make my holiday worth it. But if you don't mind staying in the cheapest crappiest places, don't be angry I don't want to do the same!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Obviously nothing is a guarantee- but if your kid is brilliant and really excels at what is considered an average public school - they can certainly still get into Ivy League schools. You don't need to pay for these overpriced privates if you can't afford it.

IF your kid is perfect - well adjusted socially, a self-starter who knows what they are with a strong sense of self and confidence, someone who does not have the slightest learning disability and is mature enough to navigate some public schools which are a mess - both environmentally, with bad crowds, with messed up kids and with high volume classes - then I 1000% agree with you that public is all you need. And we have a number of friends with kids like this. Mine aren't. They are sweet and sensitive, one has dyslexia and ADHD and they really would not be served well in public. So for you to judge me as a parent who loves my kids and want to give them the best I can for their life for the next 6 years left in their academic career prior to college, yeah, go ahead and judge. I just hope that one day something doesn't happen to your family where you don't need more help in some capacity.

PS - It's also akin in a less dramatic metaphor - when you go on holiday, you can stay at a nice hostel and be perfectly well housed. You may sleep in a crappy bed and kinda worry that you're not going to wake up to bedbugs and not be necessarily 100% comfortable but hey, you got a roof over your head while you are on your "nice" vacation. I personally would want to stay in a nicer place. So yeah, private school is maybe that nicer place where it'll cost more for sure but the right place will make my holiday worth it. But if you don't mind staying in the cheapest crappiest places, don't be angry I don't want to do the same!

Come on. Public schools in this area are not the “cheapest crappiest” places.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Public schools in this area are not the “cheapest crappiest” places.

They're not four or five-star hotels either.

[Anonymous]

We are similar. We don't afford it. Private school in this area is for rich people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Public schools in this area are not the “cheapest crappiest” places.

They're not four or five-star hotels either.

ACDS MS is a hostel alright! Good god, you can't even use the bathroom without fear there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Obviously nothing is a guarantee- but if your kid is brilliant and really excels at what is considered an average public school - they can certainly still get into Ivy League schools. You don't need to pay for these overpriced privates if you can't afford it.

IF your kid is perfect - well adjusted socially, a self-starter who knows what they are with a strong sense of self and confidence, someone who does not have the slightest learning disability and is mature enough to navigate some public schools which are a mess - both environmentally, with bad crowds, with messed up kids and with high volume classes - then I 1000% agree with you that public is all you need. And we have a number of friends with kids like this. Mine aren't. They are sweet and sensitive, one has dyslexia and ADHD and they really would not be served well in public. So for you to judge me as a parent who loves my kids and want to give them the best I can for their life for the next 6 years left in their academic career prior to college, yeah, go ahead and judge. I just hope that one day something doesn't happen to your family where you don't need more help in some capacity.

PS - It's also akin in a less dramatic metaphor - when you go on holiday, you can stay at a nice hostel and be perfectly well housed. You may sleep in a crappy bed and kinda worry that you're not going to wake up to bedbugs and not be necessarily 100% comfortable but hey, you got a roof over your head while you are on your "nice" vacation. I personally would want to stay in a nicer place. So yeah, private school is maybe that nicer place where it'll cost more for sure but the right place will make my holiday worth it. But if you don't mind staying in the cheapest crappiest places, don't be angry I don't want to do the same!

Come on. Public schools in this area are not the “cheapest crappiest” places.

Again - metaphor. The point is just because I want to stay at Rosewood and not Bonvoy does not mean you get to suggest I suck. Maybe if you don't have as much money as me to do that, well, that's another thing, but if I have kids like I said that would do better where they are, F you for suggesting that they would be fine in the school of your choice. You have no right to tell others about what is best for their kids. It's a choice. You don't want to go to private, I say you had to. So the kind of people like you who disparage other families who for one reason or another make the choice based on their situation or environment or question whether it may be a better option to do so - you are jealous egotistical and judgmental people who have no business complaining private school parents are this. You have no idea what kind of challenges we faced in public before moving to private where we are so much happier and the kids are doing well. That you spread these falsehoods that a public education should be the only option or good enough for everyone is absolutely wrong. The better response is - some families do better in private v public, or some families choose to for a lot of reasons we'll never understand. Ignorant people like you are why we have so many issues in public because you think there exists no problems that public that ought to be fixed and made better so we can actually choose to go to public!!!

[Anonymous]

We considered private high school, but it would have been a financial stretch, so we sent our child to Walls.

Adults have been amazed at how savvy my child is -- from navigating bureaucracies to navigating public transit -- and that's showing early signs of paying off when it comes to internships and college interest.

At first I felt guilty that we couldn't afford to give them the amenities of the top private schools, but I realize now that you learn a lot of valuable life skills in public school. My kid has a lot of exposure to private school kids, and I don't think they're missing out.

So don't feel guilty, OP, if you can't afford private. But I'd recommend a magnet school if that's available to you. Kind of like the best of both worlds.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Private schools are not worth it. Don't buy in - your kids can get a completely fine education and get into great colleges from any public school. It's about the kid. The school does not matter. Teachers at private schools are just as bad and good as at public schools. Private schools in this area are so overpriced. I wish I had not sent mine to these ridiculously overpriced schools that were nothing special. Maybe they were a bit cleaner and had better facilities and smaller class sizes - but that's it. Definitely not worth the 50K/yr plus all the dumb donations and other costs of attendance.

+1000

Signed, private school parent

If you are sending your kid to school solely for college admissions results, sure. There are, however, many other valid reasons for choosing your child's school. One size does not fit all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Private schools are not worth it. Don't buy in - your kids can get a completely fine education and get into great colleges from any public school. It's about the kid. The school does not matter. Teachers at private schools are just as bad and good as at public schools. Private schools in this area are so overpriced. I wish I had not sent mine to these ridiculously overpriced schools that were nothing special. Maybe they were a bit cleaner and had better facilities and smaller class sizes - but that's it. Definitely not worth the 50K/yr plus all the dumb donations and other costs of attendance.

+1000

Signed, private school parent

If you are sending your kid to school solely for college admissions results, sure. There are, however, many other valid reasons for choosing your child's school. One size does not fit all.

Also, some people want better than “fine” for their kids. Mine would be absolutely “fine” in public school, but we wanted to give them a better experience than “fine”.