What's wrong with a kid being "overscheduled"?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Here's something I'm hearing over and over in this thread.

Un scheduled kids end up alone at home or wondering the neighborhood with no one to play; their parents have complained on here that they are not getting unstructured friend time -- which was the very reason they eschewed structured activities in the first place.

Meanwhile, more scheduled kids, for example those on a travel sports team, are on the same schedule as their teammates, whom they have built friendships with around shared interests and with whom they naturally end up having unstructured time to play with them all throughout the week. Hangouts before a carpool to practice, run off and play after a game, playdates on a day they don't have practice...

Oh the irony!

Yep, totally true. And there are lots of jokes about the feral siblings who run wild at baseball parks for example playing in the dirt the whole weekend tournament. But to people not in the know they are busy, and dragged to a sibling’s activity, and their life is devoid of play time.

The "behold the feral baseball sibling" videos are funny! Last spring my older DD's house softball games were played on a field by a really nice bike bath. The younger siblings started bringing their bikes and going off for bike rides together. It just sort of happened. My younger DD loved it, and also really clicked and made friends with another girl.

That’s so kewl

[Anonymous]

It depends on the kid. My child is rather introverted and needs downtime after being in school the whole day. Also, I don't have money and time to do lots of activities, so we only do one paid activity a week.

[Anonymous]

I think way worse than the "over scheduled kid" is the at-home helicopter parent that insists every second of the kids free time at home is doing something to get ahead. They don't let the kid just be and play in the backyard with friends. Instead, they are constantly pushing workbooks and practice for this and that and zero playdates because they want them doing something productive. Those are the truly screwed up parents and kids - (my kids are grown - and had something almost every day and thrived - but we also valued and allowed downtime at home. I knew a more than a few families like described , and it never turned out well )

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think way worse than the "over scheduled kid" is the at-home helicopter parent that insists every second of the kids free time at home is doing something to get ahead. They don't let the kid just be and play in the backyard with friends. Instead, they are constantly pushing workbooks and practice for this and that and zero playdates because they want them doing something productive. Those are the truly screwed up parents and kids - (my kids are grown - and had something almost every day and thrived - but we also valued and allowed downtime at home. I knew a more than a few families like described , and it never turned out well )

+1 kids really don't get to be kids anymore, they aren't allowed any freedom.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think way worse than the "over scheduled kid" is the at-home helicopter parent that insists every second of the kids free time at home is doing something to get ahead. They don't let the kid just be and play in the backyard with friends. Instead, they are constantly pushing workbooks and practice for this and that and zero playdates because they want them doing something productive. Those are the truly screwed up parents and kids - (my kids are grown - and had something almost every day and thrived - but we also valued and allowed downtime at home. I knew a more than a few families like described , and it never turned out well )

I don’t know one person like this and I’m Asian American. Even my relatives in Asia who have to study after school in those cram academies still find time to hang out and they have lots of friends.

[Anonymous]

I am Asian as well. I don't schedule my kids with academic related, but I schedule them with sports or interests outside of school. There are no travel or competition/awards. One is book smart but social awkward and obsessed with screentime, so I kind of over schedule this child with sports and interests to solve the problems. Another child longs for more friendship and more time to play outside of school, so I schedule this child with activities that could make it happen. DH has asked me why I am not Asian tiger mom pushing for academic, well, I have no energy and no desire to do so. I feel like ES years are supposed to be fun and play, and I may gear towards to push for academic once they are in MS.