When do I cave to Facebook?

[Anonymous]

DC is lobbying for a Facebook account, for some decent reasons (changing schools, out-of-state camp.) I prefer to minimize my kids' online exposure, but am considering this. At what age/grade do kids get Facebook accounts around here? We are in NoVA, if that's relevant.

Thanks!

[Anonymous]

How old. I'm surprised kids don't do Facebook anymore they have Instagram accounts.

[Anonymous]

Give in. You'll get much more credit from you kid and you're really not giving anything up. I find fb to be fairly innocuous. At least it has been for my teens.

[Anonymous]

I allowed it when DD turned 14, with the caveat that she had to accept a friend request from me (with my promise that i wouldn't EVER comment on her wall).

Every so often I'd call her over, have her put in her password in front of me, and I'd go look through her account, to see what, if anything, she was hiding from me on there.

[Anonymous]

My kids (HS) do facebook, instagram, snapchat, twitter just for starters. facebook is pretty innocuous and I think of more interest to young teens/tweens and parents these days. I think both my kids got on facebook when they were in 8th grade, but that was several years ago so if it were today it would probably be 6th or 7th grade.

[Anonymous]

No way in hell is my middle schooler getting a Facebook account, sorry.

[Anonymous]

I let my kids get Facebook accounts the summer before 9th grade. They hardly ever go on Facebook anymore, and my rising junior just deleted his Twitter account - said it was getting old (though Twitter seems still to have legs - along with Instagram, which is very popular). They seem to have very little activity on their own Facebook pages but they spend a lot of time looking at other peoples'. (I look over their shoulder sometimes.)

Ironically, we have a DD leaving for college soon and her school sent out an order form for an old-fashioned freshman "yearbook" - the exact thing that Facebook was designed to replace!

[Anonymous]

My middle schoolers became completely uninterested in Facebookonce they realied it was all old people, LOL

[Anonymous]

We let our kids get FB accounts the summer before 7th grade. Honestly, the older kids (college and HS senior) use twitter, instagram and snapchat more than FB, although they do use FB for some things. Our 14 yo uses FB a lot, but we required her to friend us like some other PPs have noted.

[Anonymous]

FB terms of use say you have to be 13 to have an account. Not sure if your DC has already passed that, but I wouldn't consider earlier than that.

[Anonymous]

My kids all have Facebook accounts. I was o.k. with Facebook even when they were middle schoolers. They had to give me their passwords and had to friend me.

That said, they hardly ever even log onto Facebook anymore. It's all Twitter and Instagram now. Facebook has become a grown up thing.

[Anonymous]

Give into FB, but also get his password. Same for Instagram, which he'll also want when he realizes his friends aren't using FB.

[Anonymous]

Especially after this happened, near where I grew up, I will not underestimate the combination of Facebook and young people who can't grasp judgement skills and the reach of social media.

http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-504083_162-57540039-504083/autumn-pasquale-case-murder-suspect-exchanged-facebook-posts-with-nj-girl-before-her-disappearance-report-says/

[Anonymous]

In my view, I would not focus on "caving to Facebook." My HS kids have not used Facebook in a couple years and my college kids have not used in longer than that. If you focus on Facebook, your kids will be a step ahead of you by next month. Because the "hot" social media apps are ALWAYS changing, I would adopt a policy involving ALL social media.

I not naive enough to think that my kids have not done a a workaround but here are a few that we implemented across the board (only with HS ages and below):

1. Password is shared
2. Must "friend" me, DH or cool, hip but VERY protective Aunt.
3. Any app on any device (plus texts) is subject to inspection on demand and without notice.
4. If we find out that you have a "dummy" account for the parents, accounts must be closed and all electronic devices will be confiscated until further notice but not less than 90 days.
5. Posting of age inappropriate material - see item 4.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In my view, I would not focus on "caving to Facebook." My HS kids have not used Facebook in a couple years and my college kids have not used in longer than that. If you focus on Facebook, your kids will be a step ahead of you by next month. Because the "hot" social media apps are ALWAYS changing, I would adopt a policy involving ALL social media.

I not naive enough to think that my kids have not done a a workaround but here are a few that we implemented across the board (only with HS ages and below):

1. Password is shared
2. Must "friend" me, DH or cool, hip but VERY protective Aunt.
3. Any app on any device (plus texts) is subject to inspection on demand and without notice.
4. If we find out that you have a "dummy" account for the parents, accounts must be closed and all electronic devices will be confiscated until further notice but not less than 90 days.
5. Posting of age inappropriate material - see item 4.

I'm the poster above you. Yours is an excellent list.