Things you secretly oppose, but don't want other people to know:

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This thread needs a rename: things you oppose so I can argue with you about them.

+100

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm against illegal immigration and do not support amnesty for illegal immigrants regardless of their country of origin (i.e., don't care if you're from Ireland or El Salvador). Think there should be severe penalties for those who are in the country illegally and I do not think that children of illegal immigrants should be granted citizenship - too much of an incentive. I'm pro immigrant on the whole, though, just through legal means.

Ditto. I would never admit this either aloud.

Another ditto.

[Anonymous]

Annoying parenting buzz phrases like "use your words" and "you are feeling upset."
Juice boxes (for multiple reasons).
Letting kids walk/play and eat at the same time.
Gum.
Religion.
Being fat, or having fat kids (usually these go together).
Anti-vaxers.
Dyed blonde hair on the over 40 crowd.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
NP here, but seriously look at your argument. What do you call those of us that haven't YET learned? We say we can't cook. Until we learn. Then we can cook. Like riding a bike. before I LEARNED (it's called learning) how to ride a bike, I told people....wait for it..... I can't ride a bike. Did you think I only "Claimed" being unable to ride a bike because "anyone can learn" dumbass.

I'm talking about people who say they "can't" cook when they really mean "I don't like to cook and prefer to present myself as someone who is somehow innately incapable of ever learning how to perform this fairly simple task."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I must be the most hated person on DCUM

I am an immigrant
I am in an interracial marriage
I used and egg donor
I used a surrogate
I (well the surrogate) transferred two eggs – both took
My daughter has pierced ears with earrings
I dress my twins identically with perfectly coordinated outfits
I SAH for 8 years and I had a nanny
I now work so my kids can all go to private school
I drive an SUV
I ff all my kids
We eat 99% organic
I wear tory burch
I have 4 kids
I had the last 2 (twins) at 47
I’m an evangelical Christian
I was vegan for about a year but gave it up
My twin boys are circumcised though my oldest isn’t
I tried to have a shoeless house but my husband ignored me – he’s French (‘nuff said)
I am very fussy about germs
I CANNOT cook even with recipes. Even my husband has said that from now on when we have guests for dinner we should just have it catered
We co-slept by accident
My daughter and oldest son had occupational therapy for sensory issues
There is more but I must stop now for fear of being virtually bitch slapped by DCUM

Well, you are nothing like me (except we're both in interracial marriages), but you seem cool.

The only advice I'll give you is to be less fussy about germs. We didn't evolve to be in perfectly clean environs. It's not healthy and causes inflammation and allergies if you clean too rigorously.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:IVF. I'm sorry you're infertile, but there are a lot of orphans who need homes.

(Related) Selective Reduction. You wanted kids bad enough to pay for IVF, but not THAT many kids, so you kill some? Disgusting.

As to working moms, I'm one of them. I work to pay for private school. We live modestly. It's not materialism, it's providing for my kids.

You are a dumbass.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:IVF. I'm sorry you're infertile, but there are a lot of orphans who need homes.

(Related) Selective Reduction. You wanted kids bad enough to pay for IVF, but not THAT many kids, so you kill some? Disgusting.

As to working moms, I'm one of them. I work to pay for private school. We live modestly. It's not materialism, it's providing for my kids.

Many people - including me - opted for IVF because it was much more affordable than adoption and covered in great part by my insurance (we paid $4500 total). Adopting an orphan, especially an American orphan, is big bucks (most agencies quoted us $30 - $40K) and a 2 - 3 year ordeal. We looked into it.

We opted against IVF and did adoption, because it was equally affordable as IVF and (for us) a guaranteed way to become parents, as opposed to only being given a 20% chance through IVF. Part of it was that our insurance did not pay.

I am pretty familiar with international adoption (sorry OP), and am now becoming more familiar with domestic adoption. I used to think that adoption was an easy answer/choice, but now that I know more about it, I can very much understand why someone would not pursue it. I personally would not do a domestic adoption, but international adoption was the right choice for my family and may not be the right choice for Person A or B.[/quote]

I'm the PP you quoted. International adoptions are longer wait times these days than domestic adoption - at least that is what we learned from the three agencies we met with. It used to be the other way around, but no longer.

[Anonymous]

Adoption PP- I think it just depends whether international or domestic is longer. There are plenty of prospective domestic adoptive parents waiting years, but overall I agree- international is probably longer.

However, we have some special circumstances that sped up our referral that wouldn't apply to the great majority of adoptive parents...which is one reason why international adoption was right for us as opposed to domestic.

[Anonymous]

People who are openly religious and discuss their religion / faith in the course of regular conversation. As in, "It's in God's plan for us to be pregnant with twins" or "God only gives me as much as I can handle" or "I give the glory to God on this one."

These are quotes from an otherwise very pleasant co-worker who has a PhD. And no, she's not saying these things with any irony.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The color pink and princess stuff on my infant daughters. I purposely seek out blue, green, red, black, tan, purple, orange...etc...I mena there are a zillion colors why make 80% of baby girl clothes pink? And forget Future Princess slogans...I bought the Future CEO shirt.

Oh I was you. The whole anti-pink thing came back to bite me in the ass. I have a 4 year old who only wants pink now. ONLY PINK! She looks like a Hanna Andersson store blew up and all the pink clothing landed on her. She will go naked before wearing any other color. I had to pick my battles. She wears pink. Good luck and may the force be strong with you!

(I did tell her the only acceptable princess is Princess Leia!)

As long as you mean Princess Leia in the white robe when Alderaan blew up, not Princess Leia in the gold bikini as prisoner to Jabba the Hut, I'm totally on board with this.

Also, I had the same plan about princesses. As Iron Mike says, everyone has a plan until they get hit in the mouth.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

ART involving egg-donation or sperm donation
single motherhood by choice by ART
same-sex parenthood by ART

Just curious: are you against all ART or just these aspects? Are you cool with single motherhood or same-sex parenthood if they don't involve ART?

yes, that is why I phrased it that way

You DO realize that save-sex parenthood cannot happen without ART, right? So, you are basically against any same-sex parenhood.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Annoying parenting buzz phrases like "use your words" and "you are feeling upset."
Juice boxes (for multiple reasons).
Letting kids walk/play and eat at the same time.
Gum.
Religion.
Being fat, or having fat kids (usually these go together).
Anti-vaxers.
Dyed blonde hair on the over 40 crowd.

Yes! I worked for a family back when I was a nanny and they had an annoying ass kid who was whinny and bratty and instead of being consistent with disciplining the kid, all they did, specially the dad, was to say "(boy's name said in a cutesy way), why are you so upset? I'll (whatever the kid was crying about) for you, but don't have to cryyy." Oh barf. I'm sure the youngest one turned out the same way. I loved being a nanny (though I'm glad to have moved on) and I loved all my "charges" except for this one. Couldn't stand him!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Secretly I hate the hijab. But I don't oppose the right of others to wear it.
Every time I see it, it makes me angry. I have to refocus my liberal, feminist values to remind me that everyone gets to wear whatever they want, none of my beeswax.

But in my heart I "oppose" it.

I don't feel this way about the hijab, because I know the extremely varied reasons that Muslim women wear it - and that many women wear it as a big "fuck you" to patriarchy. I don't wear hijab, but I am Muslim.

However, I feel this way about the niqab or any other facial coverings. They are nowhere in the same league as hair coverings. I will never ever support face coverings, but couldn't give two shits about hijab or hair covers.

I oppose any faith or culture that dictates that women must cover themselves - their hair, legs, arms, face - in ways that would never be expected of men. This includes Islam, fundamentalist Christians, and Orthodox Judiasm. I find it offensive, though I would never tell people this. If it's not right for women, then it's not right.

[Anonymous]

Fat people feeling sorry for themselves
SNAP benefits for the overweight
Public transportation for the overweight

[Anonymous]

Moms who could easily afford to stay at home, but choose to work full time and pay someone else to do the mothering for them.