Princeton has 8 suicides in 3 years

[Anonymous]

I think many of them internalized the message that status matters above all else. So if they don’t have the right friends, grades, partners, whatever…they can’t cope.

If they had been taught to base their self esteem on who they are (vs external signs of achievement)…perhaps they would be hardier.

It is very very sad.

[Anonymous]

We previously lived near Princeton, and seeing what campus was like pretty quickly turned us off of the place.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We previously lived near Princeton, and seeing what campus was like pretty quickly turned us off of the place.

Can you say more?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We toured Princeton and the stress on that campus was palpable. Not a smile in site. Our tour guide spent 10 minutes talking about the mental health offerings and how more are needed.

Harvard, despite the cold and dreary weather, seemed much happier. We were surprised.

Is there an ivy+ school that isn't like that?

Everybody feels like there is only 1 pathway to success.

Perfect scores all the way through life.

Perfect college, perfect job, perfect marriage, perfect children, rinse, repeat.

Nothing is perfect. Help your kid find their cruising speed. Help them find their cruising altitude. Let them figure out their destination.

Duke, Brown, Dartmouth, Rice are not like this.

[Anonymous]

It’s hardest imo when a school has both intense academic pressure AND social pressure/money-based codes not everyone understands. Aka Princeton.

I went to a SLAC with intense classes and course loads but everyone was supportive and status didn’t matter. I have outgoing friends who loved big southern schools with major social stratification but far less grade obsession.

[Anonymous]

What do you mean about money-based codes at Princeton? Do kids show off their money as status?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What do you mean about money-based codes at Princeton? Do kids show off their money as status?

They do at every Ivy. It’s a bifurcated society. Not by race but by social class.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What do you mean about money-based codes at Princeton? Do kids show off their money as status?

They do at every Ivy. It’s a bifurcated society. Not by race but by social class.

Oh, that sucks.
Wasn't like that at Northwestern when I was there many years ago.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What do you mean about money-based codes at Princeton? Do kids show off their money as status?

They do at every Ivy. It’s a bifurcated society. Not by race but by social class.

I don’t agree with this, hasn’t been our experience.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it’s the narrowness of kids’ views of the world, as a series of specific milestones and goals to grind their way past. They don’t see that there are a million different ways to live, some of which might suit them better.

Also, they don’t eat well, don’t get enough sleep, live in gross dorms and are sick a lot. College isn’t set up for health.

Sadly, that "narrowness" is partly passed down from their parents, based on the conversations I see in this forum. The pressure that so many families place on attending the "right" college, getting the "right" GPA and choosing the "right major" is enough to create serious anxiety in any kid.

Of course there's other factors. But for God's sake, please stop the madness.

[Anonymous]

Striver schools

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Striver schools

Striver schools = overconcentration of striver majors (even compared to peers) = Princeton.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Cornell just had another suicide. That school is HARD, and the weather often makes it bleak!

Is it the social atmosphere or academics? What makes it so difficult?

It’s the type of student they admit imo (anxious, striver)

Exactly. 42% (544/1284) major in Engineering, Computer Science, or Econ.

Add biological sciences (for the gunner, pre-med types) and we are well over half the class. Cite: https://nces.ed.gov/collegenavigator/?q=princeton&s=all&id=186131#programs

Princeton has built its bed; now it has to lie in it. Hope its donors are happy...

Over half of undergrads at Yale now major in STEM.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What do you mean about money-based codes at Princeton? Do kids show off their money as status?

Princeton has more kids on FA and offers the most generous FA package (esp as percentage of COA) than any of their peer schools.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it’s the narrowness of kids’ views of the world, as a series of specific milestones and goals to grind their way past. They don’t see that there are a million different ways to live, some of which might suit them better.

Also, they don’t eat well, don’t get enough sleep, live in gross dorms and are sick a lot. College isn’t set up for health.

Sadly, that "narrowness" is partly passed down from their parents, based on the conversations I see in this forum. The pressure that so many families place on attending the "right" college, getting the "right" GPA and choosing the "right major" is enough to create serious anxiety in any kid.

Of course there's other factors. But for God's sake, please stop the madness.

Yeah, according to DCUM, 2 of my recent college grads chose "worthless" majors. And one at a school that DCUM doesn't think highly of-- (he loved it).

Yet they are gainfully employed, independently supporting themselves, and happy.