Blackballing in Private/Independent Schools

[Anonymous]

I would like to know about other parents experiences, in regard to a minor disagreement with a private/independent school head and/or teacher. What was the outcome? I've been told about blackballing situations, is that common?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would like to know about other parents experiences, in regard to a minor disagreement with a private/independent school head and/or teacher. What was the outcome? I've been told about blackballing situations, is that common?

It does indeed happen. Private schools are immune from many of the antitrust laws. Many also assert immunity from FERPA, although that point can be more debatable. They can and do prohibit you from applying to one school if you are enrolled in another, unless and until you disclose to the current school that you're leaving (in many other lines of business, this would be considered to be an actionable restriction on competition). Your contract with your existing school also gives your existing school the right to freely employ its own practices and procedures, which likely include following the school association protocols on exactly this issue. One actual quote re an effort to apply-out before telling the existing school: "We are ... in agreement that we cannot proceed any further with [the] application to [New School] until we have official word that [Old School] has been informed of your decision to pursue another school option for [child] for school year .... As I'm sure you understand, we take these enrollment contracts very seriously, as does [Old School]. We value the relationship we have with [Old School], and therefore ask that if you would like to pursue admissions at [New School] that [Old School] must be informed of this decision." The schools coordinate their admissions dates, financial aid dates, and related matters with each other (they admit this; see -- http://www.independenteducation.org/File%20Library/Unassigned/Admission-Dates-Survey-Results-in-pre-pdf-format.pdf ).

Blackballing happens. We know of at least two disputes.

[Anonymous]

Thank you for the response.

I'm also looking for information on communications between schools (the old school to the new school) on disagreements. For example, would the old school attempt to prevent a child from being accepted based solely on a disagreement with the old school?

[Anonymous]

I don't believe they would actively contact the new school but if the new school contacts them, they might give a vague "we weren't a good fit for the parents" type of comment.

[Anonymous]

I'm not sure I understand your question, OP. Are you asking whether some families have been asked to leave schools because of disagreements with school admin/teachers? Is that what you mean by "blackballing" in this context?

If so, I'm sure that happens. But the real rub is whether each school's removal of the family was justified or not. That's a much harder question, and surely depends on the specifics of the situation. I can image plenty of situations where a school might ask a family to leave, and where it would be completely justified and appropriate. I imagine it's a pretty difficult conversation, and not something done lightly.

(FWIW, I think "blackballing" is sort of a loaded term, and might not really be reflective of what you're asking about.)

[Anonymous]

All of the responses have been helpful.

I'm asking if, for example if you have a minor disagreement or incident at the current school with a teacher or the head of the school. If that school would use that disagreement or incident to negatively impact the child by preventing them from getting accepted into another school.

Issues like that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:All of the responses have been helpful.

I'm asking if, for example if you have a minor disagreement or incident at the current school with a teacher or the head of the school. If that school would use that disagreement or incident to negatively impact the child by preventing them from getting accepted into another school.

Issues like that.

Is it clear the disagreement/incident was really "minor"? Would both sides agree it was completely "minor"? Or is this something you consider "minor" but the school may consider "significant"?

I'm not trying to bicker; just trying to clarify your question.

[Anonymous]

In my case I feel both parties feel it was minor.

I felt that the school should have done more in a situation, where my child got hurt. The school felt that they had done enough.

I'm concerned that me raising an issue with the way they handled my child, may come back and bite me.

And I would like to others to chime in about their experiences.

[Anonymous]

Admissions officers talk to each other, so it is possible, but schools care about their exmissions so they don't badmouth their students to other schools. It doesn't sound like you were particularly confrontational so i wonder why you are concerned. Are you looking to leave the school before a traditional time?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In my case I feel both parties feel it was minor.

I felt that the school should have done more in a situation, where my child got hurt. The school felt that they had done enough.

I'm concerned that me raising an issue with the way they handled my child, may come back and bite me.

And I would like to others to chime in about their experiences.

I'm 9:57. I've raised several minor (and maybe even not-so-minor) complaints with my children's school and teachers over several years. In some of those situations, the school agreed it was in the wrong, and in others it did not. I've never gotten the sense the school holds it against me or my children. I've always raised these complaints in respectful and professional ways.

I have heard of at least two situations where another school warned my children's school against some truly PITA parents seeking admission. I don't know whether the warning impacted their admission applications though.

I've never heard of a school using a truly minor disagreement as a basis to try to poison a child's admission application at another school. I'm sure it's happened before somewhere, but I'd be willing to bet the school didn't consider the dispute minor (even if the parent did).

HTH.

[Anonymous]

There are cases of people being beaten with an actual "black ball".

[Anonymous]

RE 10:29:

In the aftermath of the disagreement, I feel a little sour about the school's position on the situation. I felt like they were upset with me for questioning them. I also felt like they wanted to give me a soft warning about how I look at negative situations regarding my child. But other than that I like the school. I’m undecided about changing schools. So I’m seeking some insight for others in similar situations.

[Anonymous]

RE 10:36:

This is the only incident/complaint, I've ever risen.
I know I was respectful. I know I just wanted to get a positive response. Yet, I felt like they were upset with me for questioning them. I also felt like they wanted to give me a soft warning about how I look at negative situations regarding my child.

[Anonymous]

maybe you need to enroll your son (?) in Landon where anything goes, especially if he's a good athlete.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:RE 10:36:

This is the only incident/complaint, I've ever risen.
I know I was respectful. I know I just wanted to get a positive response. Yet, I felt like they were upset with me for questioning them. I also felt like they wanted to give me a soft warning about how I look at negative situations regarding my child.

I don't really believe that private schools generally deliver soft warnings, at least not more than once. If they like you, they'll delegate somebody to be direct. If they don't they'll find a reason to counsel you out. You might be in the latter category. It sounds undeserved, but these places do that.