Douchebag rich BIL

[Anonymous]

How do you deal with this type? He thinks everything he says is right because he makes so much money. And that's all he talks about. Ugh. They travel 3 times a year (twice overseas) and he shows up at easter with an album. And they screw up the Secret Santa with Christmas gifts by going WAAY overboard. And don't get me wrong we do very well, but we don't make $1.5m a year. And now my sister is kind of a stuckup bitch.

[Anonymous]

You sound jealous.

[Anonymous]

I defuse those people by only being around them when lots of other people are there, then ignore. One on one is too much.

[Anonymous]

At least you don't have to live with him.

[Anonymous]

You do sound sort of jealous. If they overspend on Secret Santa, so what? Accept the gift graciously and move on. If they have fabulous vacations, so what? Maybe they'll take your kids with them one of these days. There are worse things in life than having a rich uncle.

[Anonymous]

Reel it inOP. Stop counting their pennies. If they are able to be generous, let them. If they are not able, let the not be able. Either way, its none (!) of your business how they spend their money or time.

You sound like my jealous SIL. Jealousy is bad and will eat you up inside if you let it. Isn't life too short, really?

Let it go.

[Anonymous]

You should pity him, really, if becoming richer made him this way. He may not realize it now, but wealth and/or power is very isolating in the sense that many of his "friends and associates" may not be true friends. And that is hard.

Tune out his money talk, and occasionally remind him that this is not done in polite society. Pointedly introduce other topics of conversation. Don't argue with him if you have different opinions about something and he's as pig-headed as you say, but just tell him you disagree.
He might even respect you more in the long-run!

[Anonymous]

OP. Not jealous at all. I just come from a family that believes that wealth should be understated. He's flashy, showy and loves to talk about how much money he makes, or spends etc. Example, they went out to Los Angeles last year and he came back bragging about how they stayed at the W and partied with celebrities. Really? A 40yr old surgical salesman who lives in DC?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP. Not jealous at all. I just come from a family that believes that wealth should be understated. He's flashy, showy and loves to talk about how much money he makes, or spends etc. Example, they went out to Los Angeles last year and he came back bragging about how they stayed at the W and partied with celebrities. Really? A 40yr old surgical salesman who lives in DC?

He's a sales guy. It comes with the territory. Be gracious, polite and ignore everything else.

[Anonymous]

Just be content with the knowledge that he is a huge tool, and that most everyone who meets him will recognize this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP. Not jealous at all. I just come from a family that believes that wealth should be understated. He's flashy, showy and loves to talk about how much money he makes, or spends etc. Example, they went out to Los Angeles last year and he came back bragging about how they stayed at the W and partied with celebrities. Really? A 40yr old surgical salesman who lives in DC?

I'm sorry. My dad is a salesman, my brother is a salesman, I've hung out with more salesman than you've had hot dinners. They're all natural extroverts. They're almost never mean with it, but they can't shut up. They never stop schmoozing and selling and playing Lord Bountiful, even with family. Your brother-in-law is never going to change, and is likely oblivious to your discomfort. My advice is to enjoy the gifts and let everything else roll off your back, for the sake of family. Don't seek out his company if you don't want to, but don't make your husband feel like he has to choose between his brother and his wife just to avoid some bragging.

[Anonymous]

you're jealous OP. hell, Id be too if my BIL and sis traveled 3 times a year! but I would be mature enough to recognize my emotion and deal with it.

don't hate the rich, you sound pathetic.

[Anonymous]

OP I get what youre saying. You dont sound bitter to me. It is tiresome to hear people go on and on about their money all the time.

[Anonymous]

I think it is his attitude, not his $ that OP is jealous of! I know the type of which she speaks and have a couple male neighbors in mind that meet her description.

I guess just try not let it get to you. I am in the position of your SIL/BIL in my family, but we downplay everything. My sister wanted to start Xmas gifts to all of the nephews as her boys were approaching college-age and I knew $ was an issue---even though mine are very small I totally agreed. For me- the Holidays are about the fun times we all have at the family get-togethers and dinner and NOT at all about the presents. I still don't buy lavish gifts for my parents or siblings. It would feel too much like showing off and my parents still like to treat US. My DH is very unassuming and nobody knows how much he really makes. We don't drive fancy cars or do anything too extravagant. We definitely don't show pics of the vacation homes we rent, etc. The only time I have gone against this policy was at HS graduation for my nephews. I gave them each a nice-size check and it was very graciously and thankfully appreciated. They worked so hard and did so well--I also know with 3 starting college in less than 5 years of each other it is tight.

Try to let it go and laugh about when you are alone. He is overly compensating for something. I think it's pretty pathetic when people are that demonstrative over material possessions, salary, etc.

[Anonymous]

I have a douchebag BIl and he is the opposite-- extremely tight. He is always criticizing other people for being spendthrifts and has never picked up a check yet. He and SIL are both doctors so he is just stashing it away. Can I trade with you, OP?