Douchebag rich BIL

[Anonymous]

OP disregard the comments about you being jealous. They don't get the point you're making. If you're not a materialistic person it's kinda hard to be around people who are.

He sounds like a big windbag - maybe well-intended - but a windbag nonetheless. We try to neutralize obnoxious friends/acquaintances/neighbors by visiting with them in large groups. Agree that one-on-one with these types can be really over the top.

To keep the peace at home encourage your husband to visit him solo. That way you're not coming between your husband and his brother.

[Anonymous]

This is interesting to me. My partner and I travel internationally a couple of times a year, and also join in on the requisite week at OBX.

We like to talk about our travels, but certainly not because we're "bragging" -- any more than my ILs are "bragging" when they talk about their home improvement projects, new cars or kids accomplishments.

[Anonymous]

Your BIL sounds like an ass, and so do most of the people on this board. You sound annoyed, not jealous.

[Anonymous]

He makes $1.5 million in surgical sales? Never heard of that. Maybe he is generous beyond his income.

[Anonymous]

I have money and you would never know it. Those that are wealthy and have class don't talk about money.

Ignore your BIL.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP. Not jealous at all. I just come from a family that believes that wealth should be understated. He's flashy, showy and loves to talk about how much money he makes, or spends etc. Example, they went out to Los Angeles last year and he came back bragging about how they stayed at the W and partied with celebrities. Really? A 40yr old surgical salesman who lives in DC?

I'm sorry. My dad is a salesman, my brother is a salesman, I've hung out with more salesman than you've had hot dinners. They're all natural extroverts. They're almost never mean with it, but they can't shut up. They never stop schmoozing and selling and playing Lord Bountiful, even with family. Your brother-in-law is never going to change, and is likely oblivious to your discomfort. My advice is to enjoy the gifts and let everything else roll off your back, for the sake of family. Don't seek out his company if you don't want to, but don't make your husband feel like he has to choose between his brother and his wife just to avoid some bragging.

+1000. So funny but so true!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have money and you would never know it. Those that are wealthy and have class don't talk about money.

Ignore your BIL.

I love the way all these so called non-showy-offy types feel quite comfortable bragging here.

[Anonymous]

^^You sound jealous.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have money and you would never know it. Those that are wealthy and have class don't talk about money.

Ignore your BIL.

I love the way all these so called non-showy-offy types feel quite comfortable bragging here.

It's an anonymous forum.

[Anonymous]

The reason the OP sounds a bit jealous is because none of the things really sound about money. They all sound, like a pp said, about a braggy, somewhat crude salesman type. The example - bragging about meeting celebrities is hilarious. Who else but a DC salesman would be hanging out in these places. OP, that's the point of them!

I don't know. Is he rude? Condescending? Interrupting? Mean? Cos if he's just a bit tasteless, who cares? I'd be getting him to buy the rounds and enjoying myself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How do you deal with this type? He thinks everything he says is right because he makes so much money. And that's all he talks about. Ugh. They travel 3 times a year (twice overseas) and he shows up at easter with an album. And they screw up the Secret Santa with Christmas gifts by going WAAY overboard. And don't get me wrong we do very well, but we don't make $1.5m a year. And now my sister is kind of a stuckup bitch.

Does he have any good qualities? Generous? Honest? Compassionate? Positive? Loving?
You might find that his good qualities outweigh what you don't like about him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is interesting to me. My partner and I travel internationally a couple of times a year, and also join in on the requisite week at OBX.

We like to talk about our travels, but certainly not because we're "bragging" -- any more than my ILs are "bragging" when they talk about their home improvement projects, new cars or kids accomplishments.

"Talking" about a trip is different than foisting your photo album on others.

OP sounds more annoyed to me than jealous. DH has a friend who constantly talks about how much money he makes, how smart/advanced their kids are--blah blah blah. When you have to sit through a dinner party, it gets pretty old fast.

OP since it's your BIL you can't avoid or shun him. Try to let the annoyances go and see his positive qualities.

[Anonymous]

This is my situation. I have the same brother in law! I am not jealous, envious of course, who wouldn't want to have more money but, you know, if someone has to have it and it isn't me I would rather it was someone I care about. My BIL talks about his stuff all the time, he is always right, he goes on about his next car, race horses etc, holidays. It gets a little annoying after a while. My sister is increadibly insecure and I am concerned about upsetting her if I say something or stay away. We used to be able to manage the situation by seeing them for short periods only and diffused with children but now that sister and BIL have moved away and children are older it is more difficult. We just spent a weekend with them and I am quite emotionally drained. I think the poster who said salesmen are just like that is spot on with my BIL. I am sure he doesn't mean to be boasty, it is just how he is. The other thing is we just don't have much in common with my sister and BIL, our kids are different ages, we do different jobs, different things for fun etc. I would like to stay away and maybe have an occasional meal together but I know my sister will insist that we visit for weekend and will be genuinely hurt if we don't. I love these guys, I really do, but you know, we don't have much to talk about and what ends up happening is BIL just talks about all his stuff endlessly and it becomes very uncomfortable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your BIL sounds like an ass, and so do most of the people on this board. You sound annoyed, not jealous.

+1000

[Anonymous]

There go the 47 percent, whining again. America's takers should stop trashing the makers.