My daughter is the only white girl in her grade: ask me anything

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can't imagine the world where I wouldn't send my child to the best school which is an option. Such different philosophies...

It really is...

So by the calculations of many on this thread, for instance, people should not send their kids to Oyster because it is only 28% white and has middling test scores? I know Yale and Columbia grads who went to Oyster. Like OP (probably) they grew up in upper-middle class households. I am sure that their experiences being in a multicultural environment factored into their ability to get into those schools, as opposed to going to the "best school" which would probably be lily white and produce less well-rounded or empathetic kids. So I agree, "best school" depends on what you are looking for. Oyster was not the "best school" for a sibling of these two who had a learning disability. There are just too many factors at play to generalize about what is the "best school" for OP's kid.

[Anonymous]

However, there are a lot of anxious new parents who DO think race makes a difference, as early as PK, and the whole reason for this thread was to allow them to ask questions and answer those questions based on our positive experience doing the very thing that they fear.

I think that is in part because people make assumptions about a connection between race and class that are not necessarily warranted. I would venture to say that if you posted that your child was the only white child in a grade filled with high SES children, people would not have too many questions for you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

However, there are a lot of anxious new parents who DO think race makes a difference, as early as PK, and the whole reason for this thread was to allow them to ask questions and answer those questions based on our positive experience doing the very thing that they fear.

I think that is in part because people make assumptions about a connection between race and class that are not necessarily warranted. I would venture to say that if you posted that your child was the only white child in a grade filled with high SES children, people would not have too many questions for you.

I understand that, but in DC, race and class often stand as proxies for each other. Particularly when the person talking about race and/or class is uncomfortable doing so. I think a lot of people are a lot more comfortable talking about low achievement among low income children than they are about low achievement among children of color. In DC, low income children are overwhelmingly children of color.

I (OP) grew up in a lower middle class household in the Midwest with a college educated father and a SAHM with a GED who later went to college and then grad school. My elementary and middle schools were overwhelmingly white. By the time I got to high school, we'd moved to a larger city with only 1 high school, so it was much more diverse. However, it was the Midwest, so there were a lot of poor kids of all races. That's not how it works in DC. If you're in DCPS and you're poor, odds are overwhelmingly that you are black or Latino.

I'm not saying that there are not high SES children of color in the city - there obviously are - but that's not where the concern lies.

[Anonymous]

Wtf, PP who says that all Hispanics are white? Some are clearly of majority African or indigenous American descent.

[Anonymous]

My daughter is the only white girl in her grade: ask me anything

I have a question...are there any white teachers at this school?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I can't imagine the world where I wouldn't send my child to the best school which is an option. Such different philosophies...

Isn't that what OP is doing?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My daughter is the only white girl in her grade: ask me anything

I have a question...are there any white teachers at this school?

Yes. There are a lot of white teachers at the school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can't imagine the world where I wouldn't send my child to the best school which is an option. Such different philosophies...

PP, how do you define "best school" available? And how do you define "option"? Because from where I'm sitting, that's exactly what I'm doing: sending my child to the best school available to me that is an option. I would personally love to send her to the elementary school my younger sister went to, in my home town, because hearing from my friends back home about that school has been such a wistful experience, but that school is 800 miles away. True, we could move, but come on.

From what you've posted about your daughter, I think you're doing a fine job, OP. You're right that there are plenty of people on this board who freak out at the thought of their kid being an "only," and so this thread has been helpful, despite the jerks. Thank you for being so willing to respond to people's thoughts and questions.

[Anonymous]

My daughter is in first grade. This is our 3rd year at the school.

Wait, though. Next you'll say, "Your DD is only in 1st - you'll change your mind by 3rd." Then you'll say, "But middle school is when things really start to matter." Then you'll say, "She won't get into college because you made a crappy choice in PK."

Well, I genuinely hope your daughter continues to be happy at the school, but I don't think you're really in a position to say whether or not she will be at this point. So why not wait and see what happens before you start arguing about it? I hope it goes well, I just don't know why you need to take any position at this time when you have no experience to base it on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

My daughter is in first grade. This is our 3rd year at the school.

Wait, though. Next you'll say, "Your DD is only in 1st - you'll change your mind by 3rd." Then you'll say, "But middle school is when things really start to matter." Then you'll say, "She won't get into college because you made a crappy choice in PK."

Well, I genuinely hope your daughter continues to be happy at the school, but I don't think you're really in a position to say whether or not she will be at this point. So why not wait and see what happens before you start arguing about it? I hope it goes well, I just don't know why you need to take any position at this time when you have no experience to base it on.

At what point do I get to have "experience" though? I can speak to what our experience was in PK4 and kindergarten. I can't speak to 1st because the year just started, obviously. But I don't see why the things I have to say about the years behind us already isn't valid. I have never - not even once - said that I don't think that any issues will ever arise or that I am 1000% wedded to sending DD to this school forever no matter what happens. All I have said is, here is what we've experienced, and if things go south, we will explore other options.

As for why I started this thread, I've answered that 5 or 6 times already - as recently as earlier today. I'll continue answering questions until there aren't any more or until Jeff decides to lock the thread for whatever reason.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can't imagine the world where I wouldn't send my child to the best school which is an option. Such different philosophies...

It really is...

So by the calculations of many on this thread, for instance, people should not send their kids to Oyster because it is only 28% white and has middling test scores? I know Yale and Columbia grads who went to Oyster. Like OP (probably) they grew up in upper-middle class households. I am sure that their experiences being in a multicultural environment factored into their ability to get into those schools, as opposed to going to the "best school" which would probably be lily white and produce less well-rounded or empathetic kids. So I agree, "best school" depends on what you are looking for. Oyster was not the "best school" for a sibling of these two who had a learning disability. There are just too many factors at play to generalize about what is the "best school" for OP's kid.

Oyster is in fact a great example why OP (and this thread) is full of sh*t.

Hispanic-majority, and yet one of the best schools in the city, with plenty of whites (both Hispanic and anglos) trying to get in.

What's the problem...except in OP's racist imagination.

[Anonymous]

But I don't see why the things I have to say about the years behind us already isn't valid. I have never - not even once - said that I don't think that any issues will ever arise or that I am 1000% wedded to sending DD to this school forever no matter what happens.

No one is saying that the things you have to say about the years behind you are not valid. I don't know why you are extrapolating them to speak about years of school ahead that your child has not completed, which indeed, based on your prior post, you are. Wait and see how it goes. We send my son to a diverse, well-regarded school. It was great through about 3rd grade, when it became clear that the gifted and talented program was pretty weak in his area of strength. It was a good school for him until then, at that point it became clear that it was not for him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

But I don't see why the things I have to say about the years behind us already isn't valid. I have never - not even once - said that I don't think that any issues will ever arise or that I am 1000% wedded to sending DD to this school forever no matter what happens.

No one is saying that the things you have to say about the years behind you are not valid. I don't know why you are extrapolating them to speak about years of school ahead that your child has not completed, which indeed, based on your prior post, you are. Wait and see how it goes. We send my son to a diverse, well-regarded school. It was great through about 3rd grade, when it became clear that the gifted and talented program was pretty weak in his area of strength. It was a good school for him until then, at that point it became clear that it was not for him.

I was doing so partially out of pique, because there is a tendency on this board to move goalposts when it comes to this issue. People dismiss PK experiences by saying "wait until 1st" and then "wait until 3rd, because that's when differences really manifest" and then "but middle school is when things really become an issue" and it just goes on an on.

For the record: I can only speak credibly about the experiences we have had so far. I can say that at this time, we are not looking for another school, and we don't plan to do so unless a) something happens that makes current school not a good fit anymore or b) we are planning a move to another area of the city/country and need to look at school options there.

And DC doesn't have a gifted and talented program, so I assume you're not talking about DC schools at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My daughter is the only white girl in her grade: ask me anything

I have a question...are there any white teachers at this school?

Yes. There are a lot of white teachers at the school.

Were that not the case would you still send your daughter to that school, OP?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My daughter is the only white girl in her grade: ask me anything

I have a question...are there any white teachers at this school?

Yes. There are a lot of white teachers at the school.

Were that not the case would you still send your daughter to that school, OP?

Yes. I would actually prefer if there were more teachers of color at our school, but much like I'm not going to rule out a school because the student body is "not diverse" I'm not going to rule out a school with a "non-diverse" teaching body either.