NCS and St. Albans misconduct

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is "grinding"?

Couples dancing where, well, couples rub against each other, although at least their clothing remains on. It happens at pretty much every high school in the area, public or private. Some schools try to discourage it by shining spotlights on kids doing it. This isn't an exclusively NCS/STA issue, though, despite what the haters want you to think.

We did that in HS and college 25 years ago, so not a new thing.

[Anonymous]

In my daughter's graduating class two girls were expelled during Christmas break their senior year for cheating. When I read vehemently critical remarks about any school I remember some posters may have an axe to grind. Not all postings reflect the true environment.

[Anonymous]

The StA boys described in a former post were not grinding. They were touching girls by surprise on their backsides. Girls who did not know them and who did not want to be touched.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The StA boys described in a former post were not grinding. They were touching girls by surprise on their backsides. Girls who did not know them and who did not want to be touched.

That's extremely offensive. I'd discipline my son pretty severely if I ever caught him doing something like that. I'm surprised the school, and the parents, did not take it more seriously.

[Anonymous]

Yes thank you. Neither the NCS middle school head nor the STA admin were interested even when we suggested that the boys were committing criminal acts and should at least be informed that it was not at all a joke to be doing that.
No axe to grind here. Just wanted my child to be able to attend a middle school dance without coarse behavior.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In my daughter's graduating class two girls were expelled during Christmas break their senior year for cheating. When I read vehemently critical remarks about any school I remember some posters may have an axe to grind. Not all postings reflect the true environment.

What school was this and what year? I am amazed I haven't heard about this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Would this happen at GDS?

Hasn't yet...

Sexual harassment and assault occur at every high school in the country. The problem is not just an issue at NCS/StA. If you have high schoolers at SFS or GDS (or TJ or Wilson or Whitman) you know that similar incidents have happened and there have even been a few expulsions as a result. Saying it wouldn't happen at your school is an act of denial that perpetuates the danger to our daughters.

Correct. The question is, how does the school administration respond to it?

[Anonymous]

Your little daughter knows what going on at a middle school dance. All of these girls have a smart phone and access to the internet - stop pretending your daughter has never grinded with a boy at a dance . This style of dancing has been present for 20 plus years.

This is not a school problem

[Anonymous]

Actually not the grinding I am complaining as you know

[Anonymous]

I grew up in a family of girls, and am now a parent to both sons and daughters.

As such, I have experienced and seen for myself the joy, dismay, and frustrations of the way the sibling girls interact with each other, sibling boys interact with one another, and siblings of the opposite sex approach and treat the other.

A lot of the behavior discussed in this forum, and others like it, describe behaviors - both good and bad - which I see as variants (though some extreme, I will give you that) of the "normal" behaviors demonstrated in the siblings context.

This is to say that these are still children exhibiting the stupid, exhibitionist, silly, offensive, attention-seeking, sexually awkward, and gross behaviors that children breaking through into young adulthood have always demonstrated.

(One of my sisters still grabs the others on their backsides when we are together joking, and we are middle-age, successful working mothers and wives. I will not discuss the gross behaviors my sons and daughters sometimes demonstrate around each other -- and, yes, I do correct them for it.)

This is not to say that these burgeoning young adults should not be reprimanded, taught wrong from right, reminded of good manners and good taste, and be dutiful of respect for others and for oneself -- they should most definitely be taught all of those things.

However, these are not twenty-five year old adults exhibiting aberrant behaviors, these are still children exhibiting very immature behavior. Barring truly sociopathic displays, we should reprimand children but not shame them, discipline but not expel them, and educate but not berate. I think of the immature behavior I demonstrated even as a law school student (drinking, missing class) and I cringe.

[Anonymous]

19:59, those are all very fair points, and I suspect most of us here have experienced similar behavior as teens. But when we discuss the matter that started this thread, I tend to think we're dealing with something more malignant. The NCS girls who created the document clearly were trying to address STA behavior they considered beyond the norm of high school behavior. And the way the schools addressed it, and their descriptions of the STA activities, clearly suggests there was something more serious than awkward high school fumblings.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:19:59, those are all very fair points, and I suspect most of us here have experienced similar behavior as teens. But when we discuss the matter that started this thread, I tend to think we're dealing with something more malignant. The NCS girls who created the document clearly were trying to address STA behavior they considered beyond the norm of high school behavior. And the way the schools addressed it, and their descriptions of the STA activities, clearly suggests there was something more serious than awkward high school fumblings.

No. They did not "suggest there was something more serious than awkward high school fumbling".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We are waiting for StA to expell anyone and to change the atmosphere there so that there is peer pressure not to treat women poorly.
So many of these posts say yeah ok rape is bad but everything else is ok because everyone is doing it.
It's not ok and it has to stop.

There are no alleged rapes here, that we know. It sounds like the girls were speaking up, saying they didn't like the sexism, and the boys fought back.

[Anonymous]

Saying you don't like sexism is not fighting so the boys aren't actually fighting back. Are they fighting for the right to continue to act horribly? Is that what you are fighting for?

[Anonymous]

The pushback from some boys was prompted by a perception that some girls were skewing or repackaging the facts.