what do you say to neighbors about why you are choosing private vs the local public?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some of the reason why people get upset about your decision to go private is because they want you in public because your family - presumably wealthy, educated, and valuing education for you and your child - would make public schools better.

I know I feel that way. I'm in the trenches, sending DS to DCPS and working to make them better. I want as many allies as possible in this effort, and it makes me upset when those families are lost to private schools.

BC

I think many families just want to live in a neighborhood where all the kids go to the same school. When kids go to many different schools, it starts to break up the neighborhood. Alexandria could probably be a top notch educational system with all the money there, but too many families go on to private school. Families that do want to live in a neighborhood with a strong public school system, won't move to the neighborhoods where private is popular further weakening the public school there. People get upset about magnet schools in a very similar way to private school choices simply because it's different from the local school.

The comment immediately above captures our experience perfectly. We live in the Walt Whitman district, but at least 50% of the kids in the neighborhood ended up at private schools.

Some of our neighbors would have preferred that all the kids went to the same (public) middle school and high school. Some made the point subtly, but others were more blunt.

The question then is how does one deal with these disappointed neighbors? We never attacked the public schools in responding. Nor did we say the privates were better. It just seemed to us that our boys needed a different environment. We were trying to avoid an argument, not provoke one.

[Anonymous]

You're lucky it's at 50% in an area like Whitman which is known to be a stellar high school. Does your neighborhood feel segregated or is it inclusive? I think if people reach out to all neighbors, it's no big deal if the kids are at different schools. It's when neighbors don't spend the energy on each other because they already have their own school cliques that the neighborhoods start to look dead.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm honest about it and say, "because the local school we're assigned to is complete shit." My tax dollars don't pay for what I want, so I have to come out of pocket.

How many times have you posted this same thing on this thread so far? Curious.

[Anonymous]

You guys in decent districts like Whitman should know that a lot of your neighbors are assuming that...

1. Your kid, who may be reasonably bright, isn't bright enough to get into a magnet or to be at the top of a Whitman class, and you fear this will hurt his college prospects. I've seen many discussions in this forum about how private schools are often places where average kids can be nurtured to be (or look) above-average.

or

2. You're gunning for a highly selective college, and you think the chances are greater from private, either because the private will nurture your average kid, or because the private counselors have better Rolodexes.

I say this as a parent who has done both public and private schools.

[Anonymous]

17:19 Yes. This is what the neighbors think. Your kid is average to below average. Or they think you're a snob and too posh to send your kids to public.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You guys in decent districts like Whitman should know that a lot of your neighbors are assuming that...

1. Your kid, who may be reasonably bright, isn't bright enough to get into a magnet or to be at the top of a Whitman class, and you fear this will hurt his college prospects. I've seen many discussions in this forum about how private schools are often places where average kids can be nurtured to be (or look) above-average.

or

2. You're gunning for a highly selective college, and you think the chances are greater from private, either because the private will nurture your average kid, or because the private counselors have better Rolodexes.

I say this as a parent who has done both public and private schools.

I am the PP who lives in the Whitman District.

I can assure you that we do not care at all what our neighbors think about our sending all three boys to private school. Our degree of concern about this is absolute zero. If they want to spend their time concocting reasons why we did what we did, let them.

A few of them seem disappointed that all the kids in the neighborhood didn't go to the same school. That disappointment is their problem, not ours.

Let them think what they want. Who cares?

[Anonymous]

17:19/17:38 -- Jeez, you make my public school neighbors sound kind of like jerks! I prefer to give people the benefit of the doubt until they prove otherwise to me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You guys in decent districts like Whitman should know that a lot of your neighbors are assuming that...

1. Your kid, who may be reasonably bright, isn't bright enough to get into a magnet or to be at the top of a Whitman class, and you fear this will hurt his college prospects. I've seen many discussions in this forum about how private schools are often places where average kids can be nurtured to be (or look) above-average.

or

2. You're gunning for a highly selective college, and you think the chances are greater from private, either because the private will nurture your average kid, or because the private counselors have better Rolodexes.

I say this as a parent who has done both public and private schools.

I am the PP who lives in the Whitman District.

I can assure you that we do not care at all what our neighbors think about our sending all three boys to private school. Our degree of concern about this is absolute zero. If they want to spend their time concocting reasons why we did what we did, let them.

A few of them seem disappointed that all the kids in the neighborhood didn't go to the same school. That disappointment is their problem, not ours.

Let them think what they want. Who cares?

+1000. Seriously, man. I'm not gonna pick my kid's school to make the moms on Wisteria Lane happy.

I'm also totally comfortable with them assuming my kid is average. I actually feel like it's easier socially than having a gifted kid.

[Anonymous]

If it is good enough for Obama- it is good enough for me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If it is good enough for Obama- it is good enough for me.

Or the Clintons.

Only Jimmy Carter talked the talk AND walked the walk.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You guys in decent districts like Whitman should know that a lot of your neighbors are assuming that...

1. Your kid, who may be reasonably bright, isn't bright enough to get into a magnet or to be at the top of a Whitman class, and you fear this will hurt his college prospects. I've seen many discussions in this forum about how private schools are often places where average kids can be nurtured to be (or look) above-average.

or

2. You're gunning for a highly selective college, and you think the chances are greater from private, either because the private will nurture your average kid, or because the private counselors have better Rolodexes.

I say this as a parent who has done both public and private schools.

NP here. My family lives in the Whitman district and we send our kids to the pubilc schools. I'd say about 10% of the families in our neighborhood send their kids to private. Of these, I'd estimate that about half are Catholic, and want the Catholic school experience for their kids. Most of the rest seem to go private because the parents went to private schools and they feel that private school gave them advantages in life or a positive experience that they want to provide for their children as well. A few choose private because they think their child needs more attention than they'd get in the public schools.

We don't judge and few of our public school parent friends do either. There will occasionally be some head scratching about why the families chose to pay a premium for houses in the Whitman district if they didn't plan to use the public schools, but that's about it.

[Anonymous]

I don't say anything. It's no one's business. I have always lived in a city wherever I've lived. So, for me, the image of public schools mean dirty, broken down, sub-par. I realize it is different in the suburbs. But, I hate suburbs.

[Anonymous]

Though our public gets high marks for being the best, when I told my acquaintances that we were going to private, their frustrations with the public surfaced. Frankly, nothing like what they are describing happens at our private. I think they would all transfer if they could afford it. And I do think that they think you are aiming for an Ivy. It is a lot of work to make public school work for your kid -- volunteering, raise money ect ect

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Only Jimmy Carter talked the talk AND walked the walk.

Amy Carter graduated from private school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:17:19/17:38 -- Jeez, you make my public school neighbors sound kind of like jerks! I prefer to give people the benefit of the doubt until they prove otherwise to me.

Because private school parents can think awful things about public school parents, but the reverse isn't true? I'm thinking in particular about all the posts here saying that public schools 100% suck and public school parents prioritize new kitchens and cars over their kids.