what do you say to neighbors about why you are choosing private vs the local public?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:we have decided to go with a small, private, parochial school for now and my good friends are all going to have a field day with it. they are incredibly pro-public school, and while i am too, the DC public school system seems a bit broken and we are looking for something different for our kids at this time. i, too, am not looking forward to the discussion because there is going to be a lot of eye-rolling, shaming and such.

and yes, it will make me re-think these friendships, which date back 15 years and very much pre-kids.

St. Peter's is good, people I know seem very happy with it. Your friends will get over it and move on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would never think to bring it up (then again, I've lived here for over five years and have no idea who any of my neighbors are). If asked I would probably just say we picked the school we felt was the best fit for our child.

Over 5 years and you don't know your neighbors? What's going on?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:we have decided to go with a small, private, parochial school for now and my good friends are all going to have a field day with it. they are incredibly pro-public school, and while i am too, the DC public school system seems a bit broken and we are looking for something different for our kids at this time. i, too, am not looking forward to the discussion because there is going to be a lot of eye-rolling, shaming and such.

and yes, it will make me re-think these friendships, which date back 15 years and very much pre-kids.

St. Peter's is good, people I know seem very happy with it. Your friends will get over it and move on.

Ha. Even though the PP said nothing about Capitol Hill, I thought the same. Describes Capitol Hill to a tee.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"We thought it would be a great fit for our DC."

I understand where you are coming from because I have gotten negative comments from people as well. A woman at the park actually said, "do you honestly think the money is worth it?" (And not in a nice way). I mean, clearly I think it's worth it, so the subtext is that I some insufferable snob for sending my kid to private school. There's no point to engaging because a defensive person will take anything you say as a referendum on her choice. Just smile, deflect, move on.

While you probably are not a snob, my first thought about people who send their kids to private schools is that they are elitist snobs. Right or wrong it is the first thought I have.

I am the original poster - and no, not a snob, and was hoping to get answers that had nothing to do with snobery or money, bc it's not about that. It's about thinking that the education your kids will get (and what that affords in life - take that how you want) will be superior than what the public system offers, and the price attached to that is that you need to pay for it. It is quite simple. But not all people can handle that answer.

Whoa! Chill. It sounds like ypu are the defensive one OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"We thought it would be a great fit for our DC."

I understand where you are coming from because I have gotten negative comments from people as well. A woman at the park actually said, "do you honestly think the money is worth it?" (And not in a nice way). I mean, clearly I think it's worth it, so the subtext is that I some insufferable snob for sending my kid to private school. There's no point to engaging because a defensive person will take anything you say as a referendum on her choice. Just smile, deflect, move on.

While you probably are not a snob, my first thought about people who send their kids to private schools is that they are elitist snobs. Right or wrong it is the first thought I have.

I am the original poster - and no, not a snob, and was hoping to get answers that had nothing to do with snobery or money, bc it's not about that. It's about thinking that the education your kids will get (and what that affords in life - take that how you want) will be superior than what the public system offers, and the price attached to that is that you need to pay for it. It is quite simple. But not all people can handle that answer.

Whoa! Chill. It sounds like ypu are the defensive one OP.

I don't think the OP sounds defensive. People willingly pay more for the "extras" when it involves education.

[Anonymous]

My neighbors and friends don't ask why we chose private. I don't ask why they chose public. I don't judge them for their choices; if they judge me they don't say so. I don't care what choices they make and I doubt they care about mine. Life is too short to worry about what people thnk of your education choices.

[Anonymous]

Yeah, I have one neighbor who is so weird about questioning me about this. I just tell her we toured the school and just loved it. I don't say anything negative about our public school--in fact, I've said something along the lines of how much I know we'd love our public, too. I don't fill in any more details.

[Anonymous]

how about a non-answer answer like "it was a really tough choice because the local public schools are so good"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
I am the original poster - and no, not a snob, and was hoping to get answers that had nothing to do with snobery or money, bc it's not about that. It's about thinking that the education your kids will get (and what that affords in life - take that how you want) will be superior than what the public system offers, and the price attached to that is that you need to pay for it. It is quite simple. But not all people can handle that answer.

OP I totally agree with you. however unless you want to start a heated discussion with your friends or neighbors I would not put it as bluntly as you have.

we just told a set of our very close friend(that have kids same age as ours) that DD is going to private 1st grade and we saw a bunch of eye brows go up and then we got peppered with a ton of questions. some friends only cared about how much it will cost (I guess trying to measure our financial abilities). others were more curious about what our motivations were. Both my husband and I were very surprised that our friends reacted soo strong. we were not ready for that and probably gave to much info that further isolated us. it clearly left an odd felling in our minds and probably in the minds of our friends. in retro thought, I wish we juts gave a single simple reason and did not turn it into a big discussion that probably had a bunch of follow up conversations afterwards.

[Anonymous]

I told people the truth. We have a great public school, but my DS was getting lost in it. The school was overcrowded and class sizes were really large. He was a good student and not a behavior problem, so he got lost in the shuffle. I wanted to see him excited about school and learning -- it just wasn't happening where he was. I always just say that while it is a great school, it wasn't the right fit for my kid. Most people just don't want you to put down their decision to stay in public. So, if you say that it was your child who needed something else (instead of complaining about the school), they don't get so defensive.

[Anonymous]

I am a public school parent (due to cost) - so I always encourage everyone to go to private, so that the burden on public school is less.

Just my warped logic, but it makes everything look rosy!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I told people the truth. We have a great public school, but my DS was getting lost in it. The school was overcrowded and class sizes were really large. He was a good student and not a behavior problem, so he got lost in the shuffle. I wanted to see him excited about school and learning -- it just wasn't happening where he was. I always just say that while it is a great school, it wasn't the right fit for my kid. Most people just don't want you to put down their decision to stay in public. So, if you say that it was your child who needed something else (instead of complaining about the school), they don't get so defensive.

You realize that you are, in fact, saying that the public school isn't good enough. Nothing wrong with that. Just think it's funny that so many people are unwilling/uncomfortable saying that directly. Whoever hears your description above knows you are saying that the public wasn't good enough, but you sound manipulative and disingenuous to dance around that fact.

If someone asks you such a blunt question, they should be ready for an equally blunt answer. People can spot a phony (or a phony answer) from a mile away. I'll bet you'll be better received if you are just honest.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I told people the truth. We have a great public school, but my DS was getting lost in it. The school was overcrowded and class sizes were really large. He was a good student and not a behavior problem, so he got lost in the shuffle. I wanted to see him excited about school and learning -- it just wasn't happening where he was. I always just say that while it is a great school, it wasn't the right fit for my kid. Most people just don't want you to put down their decision to stay in public. So, if you say that it was your child who needed something else (instead of complaining about the school), they don't get so defensive.

You realize that you are, in fact, saying that the public school isn't good enough. Nothing wrong with that. Just think it's funny that so many people are unwilling/uncomfortable saying that directly. Whoever hears your description above knows you are saying that the public wasn't good enough, but you sound manipulative and disingenuous to dance around that fact.

If someone asks you such a blunt question, they should be ready for an equally blunt answer. People can spot a phony (or a phony answer) from a mile away. I'll bet you'll be better received if you are just honest.

I completely agree PP.

[Anonymous]

"The schedule works better for us..."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is hilarious. I swear, there are more public school parents on this forum than there are private school parents. It makes no sense whatsoever.

I'm a public parent (though I briefly toyed with the idea of private). I'm here because the private school online fights are really entertaining and snippy. I think the public school parents are a more earnest bunch, so the fights are more full of graphs and such.