IVF embryo error, custody settlement

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:First of all the Go Fund Me is just gross. Secondly it clearly states they didn’t consider her “their child” either

“ Tiffany had carried and given birth to someone else’s child. Their IVF doctor had implanted the wrong embryo.”

Yep, she wanted her baby and since it didn’t exist she thought she could just keep this one. Another couples baby. These people are foul.

+1. The GoFund me is so gross.

Why a GoFundMe? Won’t they become millionaires after suing the clinic (the clinic will have millions in insurance)? This story makes no sense.

Dp but my understanding is that it was set up right after the mixup and they needed the money stat

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As someone who's a couple weeks off the birth of my second I just can't see divorcing the connection you have with a baby you carry, not unless you're a knowing surrogate going in and are putting that mental distance in already.

I talk to him, notice his patterns, notice his hiccups, etc. We see him in the ultrasounds and my husband watches him kick. To me that's a connection that's separate from DNA. I'm in the thick of it right now but I had the same with my first kid too.

So if this couple had no reason to suspect this baby wasn't their genetic kid, mom would have gone through the same bonding and feelings.

I just can't dismiss that easily.

?

Nobody is suggesting that the woman who carried the baby for 9 months didn’t feel a bond.

Rather, some of us are baffled as to why this woman’s feelings trump doing what’s best for the baby longterm.

If someone could magically swap out this baby with one genetically connected to the white parents, I bet they would agree to the swap.

I don’t understand the assumption above about what’s best for the baby. It sounds as though both sets of parents are equally able to provide good parenting and a loving home for this baby. Since the baby is already bonded with the family she was born into, wouldn’t it be traumatic to take her and give her to a different family now? Even if they are her genetic parents?

We don't know that both sets of parents are "equally able" to provide good parenting for the child. We don't have information about the biological parents, but we do know that birth parent are unmarried, a different race from the child, and begging for money from Go Fund Me.

The birth parents knew immediately upon birth that this was not their genetic child. Within a few months, they located the bio parents. Had the birth parents wanted to minimize trauma for the child (as opposed to themselves), they could've surrendered the baby to the bio parents then.

Instead, the birth parents made clear that they intended to keep the baby. They also sued for money (not that I blame them), ran a Go Fund Me, and took the story public.

They were trying to track down the bio parents because the clinic was no help. I'm not saying the birth parents are fantastic people or anything, but we know nothing about the bio parents whatsoever and have no basis to conclude that they are better or more fit from the information available. People here are just filling in with their own projections.

It's possible the bio parents would have been the best and most loving parents with the most sympathetic circumstances. It's also possible the bio parents are 70 years old, the embryo had been frozen for decades, the bio parents are divorced/impoverished/in bad health/felons/etc. We. Do. Not. Know.

Stop making things up. The baby is now with a couple that isn’t married, need money, with questionable employment. Sounds pretty bad. I doubt they would ever be adoption candidates.

We. Don’t. Know. Anything. About. The. Bio. Parents.

We know about the white couple. Keep up.

They desperately wanted a baby and went through IVF and the sister set up a gofundme? I don’t love the gofundme but that hardly make someone a bad parent. They might be bad, but I don’t think the evidence we have indicates that they are, much less that the bio parents we know nothing about are obviously better.

Odds are the child will believe her bio parents would have been the easier path forward.

You have no odds or individualized information. You're just projecting your personal values.

How many non-white adoptees do you know? I know several who were raised by lovely white parents. And all of them have said they wish they had been raised by their birth parents.

I know plenty of transracial adoptees. Their experiences are diverse, but I genuinely don’t know a single one who has said they wished they had been raised by their birth parents. That said, I know several who wished their adoptive parents were their same race. I also know several who represent that they don’t care.

Dp
Most adopted kids are fundamentally traumatized by the fact of adoption so I would take their words on what’s best for them with a grain of salt.
That is not to belittle their experience, that is to say that trauma can distort our views in more than one way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As someone who's a couple weeks off the birth of my second I just can't see divorcing the connection you have with a baby you carry, not unless you're a knowing surrogate going in and are putting that mental distance in already.

I talk to him, notice his patterns, notice his hiccups, etc. We see him in the ultrasounds and my husband watches him kick. To me that's a connection that's separate from DNA. I'm in the thick of it right now but I had the same with my first kid too.

So if this couple had no reason to suspect this baby wasn't their genetic kid, mom would have gone through the same bonding and feelings.

I just can't dismiss that easily.

?

Nobody is suggesting that the woman who carried the baby for 9 months didn’t feel a bond.

Rather, some of us are baffled as to why this woman’s feelings trump doing what’s best for the baby longterm.

If someone could magically swap out this baby with one genetically connected to the white parents, I bet they would agree to the swap.

I don’t understand the assumption above about what’s best for the baby. It sounds as though both sets of parents are equally able to provide good parenting and a loving home for this baby. Since the baby is already bonded with the family she was born into, wouldn’t it be traumatic to take her and give her to a different family now? Even if they are her genetic parents?

We don't know that both sets of parents are "equally able" to provide good parenting for the child. We don't have information about the biological parents, but we do know that birth parent are unmarried, a different race from the child, and begging for money from Go Fund Me.

The birth parents knew immediately upon birth that this was not their genetic child. Within a few months, they located the bio parents. Had the birth parents wanted to minimize trauma for the child (as opposed to themselves), they could've surrendered the baby to the bio parents then.

Instead, the birth parents made clear that they intended to keep the baby. They also sued for money (not that I blame them), ran a Go Fund Me, and took the story public.

They were trying to track down the bio parents because the clinic was no help. I'm not saying the birth parents are fantastic people or anything, but we know nothing about the bio parents whatsoever and have no basis to conclude that they are better or more fit from the information available. People here are just filling in with their own projections.

It's possible the bio parents would have been the best and most loving parents with the most sympathetic circumstances. It's also possible the bio parents are 70 years old, the embryo had been frozen for decades, the bio parents are divorced/impoverished/in bad health/felons/etc. We. Do. Not. Know.

Stop making things up. The baby is now with a couple that isn’t married, need money, with questionable employment. Sounds pretty bad. I doubt they would ever be adoption candidates.

We. Don’t. Know. Anything. About. The. Bio. Parents.

We know about the white couple. Keep up.

They desperately wanted a baby and went through IVF and the sister set up a gofundme? I don’t love the gofundme but that hardly make someone a bad parent. They might be bad, but I don’t think the evidence we have indicates that they are, much less that the bio parents we know nothing about are obviously better.

Odds are the child will believe her bio parents would have been the easier path forward.

You have no odds or individualized information. You're just projecting your personal values.

How many non-white adoptees do you know? I know several who were raised by lovely white parents. And all of them have said they wish they had been raised by their birth parents.

I know plenty of transracial adoptees. Their experiences are diverse, but I genuinely don’t know a single one who has said they wished they had been raised by their birth parents. That said, I know several who wished their adoptive parents were their same race. I also know several who represent that they don’t care.

Well my BIL was abandoned at birth so it wasn’t really an option.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As someone who's a couple weeks off the birth of my second I just can't see divorcing the connection you have with a baby you carry, not unless you're a knowing surrogate going in and are putting that mental distance in already.

I talk to him, notice his patterns, notice his hiccups, etc. We see him in the ultrasounds and my husband watches him kick. To me that's a connection that's separate from DNA. I'm in the thick of it right now but I had the same with my first kid too.

So if this couple had no reason to suspect this baby wasn't their genetic kid, mom would have gone through the same bonding and feelings.

I just can't dismiss that easily.

?

Nobody is suggesting that the woman who carried the baby for 9 months didn’t feel a bond.

Rather, some of us are baffled as to why this woman’s feelings trump doing what’s best for the baby longterm.

If someone could magically swap out this baby with one genetically connected to the white parents, I bet they would agree to the swap.

I don’t understand the assumption above about what’s best for the baby. It sounds as though both sets of parents are equally able to provide good parenting and a loving home for this baby. Since the baby is already bonded with the family she was born into, wouldn’t it be traumatic to take her and give her to a different family now? Even if they are her genetic parents?

We don't know that both sets of parents are "equally able" to provide good parenting for the child. We don't have information about the biological parents, but we do know that birth parent are unmarried, a different race from the child, and begging for money from Go Fund Me.

The birth parents knew immediately upon birth that this was not their genetic child. Within a few months, they located the bio parents. Had the birth parents wanted to minimize trauma for the child (as opposed to themselves), they could've surrendered the baby to the bio parents then.

Instead, the birth parents made clear that they intended to keep the baby. They also sued for money (not that I blame them), ran a Go Fund Me, and took the story public.

They were trying to track down the bio parents because the clinic was no help. I'm not saying the birth parents are fantastic people or anything, but we know nothing about the bio parents whatsoever and have no basis to conclude that they are better or more fit from the information available. People here are just filling in with their own projections.

It's possible the bio parents would have been the best and most loving parents with the most sympathetic circumstances. It's also possible the bio parents are 70 years old, the embryo had been frozen for decades, the bio parents are divorced/impoverished/in bad health/felons/etc. We. Do. Not. Know.

Stop making things up. The baby is now with a couple that isn’t married, need money, with questionable employment. Sounds pretty bad. I doubt they would ever be adoption candidates.

We. Don’t. Know. Anything. About. The. Bio. Parents.

We know about the white couple. Keep up.

They desperately wanted a baby and went through IVF and the sister set up a gofundme? I don’t love the gofundme but that hardly make someone a bad parent. They might be bad, but I don’t think the evidence we have indicates that they are, much less that the bio parents we know nothing about are obviously better.

Odds are the child will believe her bio parents would have been the easier path forward.

You have no odds or individualized information. You're just projecting your personal values.

How many non-white adoptees do you know? I know several who were raised by lovely white parents. And all of them have said they wish they had been raised by their birth parents.

My BIL is black raised by white parents who tried hard but he is pretty distant and aloof now. He never felt like he fit in.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:First of all the Go Fund Me is just gross. Secondly it clearly states they didn’t consider her “their child” either

“ Tiffany had carried and given birth to someone else’s child. Their IVF doctor had implanted the wrong embryo.”

Yep, she wanted her baby and since it didn’t exist she thought she could just keep this one. Another couples baby. These people are foul.

+1. The GoFund me is so gross.

Why a GoFundMe? Won’t they become millionaires after suing the clinic (the clinic will have millions in insurance)? This story makes no sense.

Dp but my understanding is that it was set up right after the mixup and they needed the money stat

To pay for C-section recovery? Doesn’t sound like responsible people with savings who planned for this for years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As someone who's a couple weeks off the birth of my second I just can't see divorcing the connection you have with a baby you carry, not unless you're a knowing surrogate going in and are putting that mental distance in already.

I talk to him, notice his patterns, notice his hiccups, etc. We see him in the ultrasounds and my husband watches him kick. To me that's a connection that's separate from DNA. I'm in the thick of it right now but I had the same with my first kid too.

So if this couple had no reason to suspect this baby wasn't their genetic kid, mom would have gone through the same bonding and feelings.

I just can't dismiss that easily.

?

Nobody is suggesting that the woman who carried the baby for 9 months didn’t feel a bond.

Rather, some of us are baffled as to why this woman’s feelings trump doing what’s best for the baby longterm.

If someone could magically swap out this baby with one genetically connected to the white parents, I bet they would agree to the swap.

I don’t understand the assumption above about what’s best for the baby. It sounds as though both sets of parents are equally able to provide good parenting and a loving home for this baby. Since the baby is already bonded with the family she was born into, wouldn’t it be traumatic to take her and give her to a different family now? Even if they are her genetic parents?

We don't know that both sets of parents are "equally able" to provide good parenting for the child. We don't have information about the biological parents, but we do know that birth parent are unmarried, a different race from the child, and begging for money from Go Fund Me.

The birth parents knew immediately upon birth that this was not their genetic child. Within a few months, they located the bio parents. Had the birth parents wanted to minimize trauma for the child (as opposed to themselves), they could've surrendered the baby to the bio parents then.

Instead, the birth parents made clear that they intended to keep the baby. They also sued for money (not that I blame them), ran a Go Fund Me, and took the story public.

They were trying to track down the bio parents because the clinic was no help. I'm not saying the birth parents are fantastic people or anything, but we know nothing about the bio parents whatsoever and have no basis to conclude that they are better or more fit from the information available. People here are just filling in with their own projections.

It's possible the bio parents would have been the best and most loving parents with the most sympathetic circumstances. It's also possible the bio parents are 70 years old, the embryo had been frozen for decades, the bio parents are divorced/impoverished/in bad health/felons/etc. We. Do. Not. Know.

Stop making things up. The baby is now with a couple that isn’t married, need money, with questionable employment. Sounds pretty bad. I doubt they would ever be adoption candidates.

How could such people afford IVF in the first place? Or they couldn’t and that’s how they ended up with this bozo negligent doctor?

They went to the budget clinic with shoddy practices.

[Anonymous]

All this thread convinces me is that adoption should never happen. The children will never adjust and will always have issues, nobody else will view the adoptive parents as actual parents, and the bio parents will at most be ni better off (if they are not the type to care about their child at all) or worse - will be emotionally burdened.

Might as well go back to the orphanages of the past if we can’t force the bio parents to raise their children.

And as to this situation - nobody came out fully happy but the only blame likes with the facility.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As someone who's a couple weeks off the birth of my second I just can't see divorcing the connection you have with a baby you carry, not unless you're a knowing surrogate going in and are putting that mental distance in already.

I talk to him, notice his patterns, notice his hiccups, etc. We see him in the ultrasounds and my husband watches him kick. To me that's a connection that's separate from DNA. I'm in the thick of it right now but I had the same with my first kid too.

So if this couple had no reason to suspect this baby wasn't their genetic kid, mom would have gone through the same bonding and feelings.

I just can't dismiss that easily.

?

Nobody is suggesting that the woman who carried the baby for 9 months didn’t feel a bond.

Rather, some of us are baffled as to why this woman’s feelings trump doing what’s best for the baby longterm.

If someone could magically swap out this baby with one genetically connected to the white parents, I bet they would agree to the swap.

I don’t understand the assumption above about what’s best for the baby. It sounds as though both sets of parents are equally able to provide good parenting and a loving home for this baby. Since the baby is already bonded with the family she was born into, wouldn’t it be traumatic to take her and give her to a different family now? Even if they are her genetic parents?

No. Children are adopted into families at these young ages and adjust swiftly

I take it you’ve not studied adoption trauma.

Ok leave them at the orphanage

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:All this thread convinces me is that adoption should never happen. The children will never adjust and will always have issues, nobody else will view the adoptive parents as actual parents, and the bio parents will at most be ni better off (if they are not the type to care about their child at all) or worse - will be emotionally burdened.

Might as well go back to the orphanages of the past if we can’t force the bio parents to raise their children.

And as to this situation - nobody came out fully happy but the only blame likes with the facility.

Well adoptions are much more rare than they used to be. Keeping families together is a priority now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Very interesting, DCUM. I have completely changed my mind on my position over the course of reading this thread.

Curious which position you now are taking?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As someone who's a couple weeks off the birth of my second I just can't see divorcing the connection you have with a baby you carry, not unless you're a knowing surrogate going in and are putting that mental distance in already.

I talk to him, notice his patterns, notice his hiccups, etc. We see him in the ultrasounds and my husband watches him kick. To me that's a connection that's separate from DNA. I'm in the thick of it right now but I had the same with my first kid too.

So if this couple had no reason to suspect this baby wasn't their genetic kid, mom would have gone through the same bonding and feelings.

I just can't dismiss that easily.

?

Nobody is suggesting that the woman who carried the baby for 9 months didn’t feel a bond.

Rather, some of us are baffled as to why this woman’s feelings trump doing what’s best for the baby longterm.

If someone could magically swap out this baby with one genetically connected to the white parents, I bet they would agree to the swap.

I don’t understand the assumption above about what’s best for the baby. It sounds as though both sets of parents are equally able to provide good parenting and a loving home for this baby. Since the baby is already bonded with the family she was born into, wouldn’t it be traumatic to take her and give her to a different family now? Even if they are her genetic parents?

We don't know that both sets of parents are "equally able" to provide good parenting for the child. We don't have information about the biological parents, but we do know that birth parent are unmarried, a different race from the child, and begging for money from Go Fund Me.

The birth parents knew immediately upon birth that this was not their genetic child. Within a few months, they located the bio parents. Had the birth parents wanted to minimize trauma for the child (as opposed to themselves), they could've surrendered the baby to the bio parents then.

Instead, the birth parents made clear that they intended to keep the baby. They also sued for money (not that I blame them), ran a Go Fund Me, and took the story public.

They were trying to track down the bio parents because the clinic was no help. I'm not saying the birth parents are fantastic people or anything, but we know nothing about the bio parents whatsoever and have no basis to conclude that they are better or more fit from the information available. People here are just filling in with their own projections.

It's possible the bio parents would have been the best and most loving parents with the most sympathetic circumstances. It's also possible the bio parents are 70 years old, the embryo had been frozen for decades, the bio parents are divorced/impoverished/in bad health/felons/etc. We. Do. Not. Know.

Stop making things up. The baby is now with a couple that isn’t married, need money, with questionable employment. Sounds pretty bad. I doubt they would ever be adoption candidates.

How could such people afford IVF in the first place? Or they couldn’t and that’s how they ended up with this bozo negligent doctor?

They went to the budget clinic with shoddy practices.

So would the other couple.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As someone who's a couple weeks off the birth of my second I just can't see divorcing the connection you have with a baby you carry, not unless you're a knowing surrogate going in and are putting that mental distance in already.

I talk to him, notice his patterns, notice his hiccups, etc. We see him in the ultrasounds and my husband watches him kick. To me that's a connection that's separate from DNA. I'm in the thick of it right now but I had the same with my first kid too.

So if this couple had no reason to suspect this baby wasn't their genetic kid, mom would have gone through the same bonding and feelings.

I just can't dismiss that easily.

?

Nobody is suggesting that the woman who carried the baby for 9 months didn’t feel a bond.

Rather, some of us are baffled as to why this woman’s feelings trump doing what’s best for the baby longterm.

If someone could magically swap out this baby with one genetically connected to the white parents, I bet they would agree to the swap.

I don’t understand the assumption above about what’s best for the baby. It sounds as though both sets of parents are equally able to provide good parenting and a loving home for this baby. Since the baby is already bonded with the family she was born into, wouldn’t it be traumatic to take her and give her to a different family now? Even if they are her genetic parents?

We don't know that both sets of parents are "equally able" to provide good parenting for the child. We don't have information about the biological parents, but we do know that birth parent are unmarried, a different race from the child, and begging for money from Go Fund Me.

The birth parents knew immediately upon birth that this was not their genetic child. Within a few months, they located the bio parents. Had the birth parents wanted to minimize trauma for the child (as opposed to themselves), they could've surrendered the baby to the bio parents then.

Instead, the birth parents made clear that they intended to keep the baby. They also sued for money (not that I blame them), ran a Go Fund Me, and took the story public.

What does “different race” matter? People adopt children of different races all the time. I have a number of friends with kids of different races, either by adoption or because the other parent was of a different race and it is not a big deal.

Generally speaking, it doesn’t matter in the context of a traditional adoption where the birth parents voluntarily give up their child and typically have a hand in selecting the adoptive parents. And most adoptions are closed.

This situation is unique: a mixup prompted the custodial parents to claim parental rights.

Racial differences always prompt looks and questions (even in 2026). The kid will grow up looking different from her parents. Moreover, she will know exactly who her birth parents are, that they wanted her, and only consented to this ridiculous setup because the law was against them and the people raising her didn’t relinquish rights to the bio parents who look like her.

If you don’t see how this will saddle the child with a lifetime of baggage, then let’s agree to disagree.

PS - I know a woman whose adoption went off the rails and she had to give the baby back a couple weeks after receiving the newborn from a troubled teen mom. Guess what? It was hard, but she quickly got over it once she was able to adopt another baby.

While this case is rare it isn't unique. In situations where this has happened in the past in progress states like NY, CA, the baby goes back to the biological parents. There was a case of a Korean-American woman had twins through IVF in NY, the twins were a different race and each twin had a different biological parent. Each twin after a few weeks went back to their biological parent.

Unfortunately, the baby was born in Florida in the Handmaiden South, where a mother's intent of what should happen to her biological child doesn't matter. Their baby was legally stolen.

The backwards law in Florida means they couldn't get their biological child back even though the biological mother had NO intention of giving up her embryo or child and the woman who carried the baby had no intent of carrying another women's child. Genetics and intent matter in progressive states like New York, CA, etc. which is why in those states the biological parents would have gotten their child back.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As someone who's a couple weeks off the birth of my second I just can't see divorcing the connection you have with a baby you carry, not unless you're a knowing surrogate going in and are putting that mental distance in already.

I talk to him, notice his patterns, notice his hiccups, etc. We see him in the ultrasounds and my husband watches him kick. To me that's a connection that's separate from DNA. I'm in the thick of it right now but I had the same with my first kid too.

So if this couple had no reason to suspect this baby wasn't their genetic kid, mom would have gone through the same bonding and feelings.

I just can't dismiss that easily.

?

Nobody is suggesting that the woman who carried the baby for 9 months didn’t feel a bond.

Rather, some of us are baffled as to why this woman’s feelings trump doing what’s best for the baby longterm.

If someone could magically swap out this baby with one genetically connected to the white parents, I bet they would agree to the swap.

I don’t understand the assumption above about what’s best for the baby. It sounds as though both sets of parents are equally able to provide good parenting and a loving home for this baby. Since the baby is already bonded with the family she was born into, wouldn’t it be traumatic to take her and give her to a different family now? Even if they are her genetic parents?

We don't know that both sets of parents are "equally able" to provide good parenting for the child. We don't have information about the biological parents, but we do know that birth parent are unmarried, a different race from the child, and begging for money from Go Fund Me.

The birth parents knew immediately upon birth that this was not their genetic child. Within a few months, they located the bio parents. Had the birth parents wanted to minimize trauma for the child (as opposed to themselves), they could've surrendered the baby to the bio parents then.

Instead, the birth parents made clear that they intended to keep the baby. They also sued for money (not that I blame them), ran a Go Fund Me, and took the story public.

They were trying to track down the bio parents because the clinic was no help. I'm not saying the birth parents are fantastic people or anything, but we know nothing about the bio parents whatsoever and have no basis to conclude that they are better or more fit from the information available. People here are just filling in with their own projections.

It's possible the bio parents would have been the best and most loving parents with the most sympathetic circumstances. It's also possible the bio parents are 70 years old, the embryo had been frozen for decades, the bio parents are divorced/impoverished/in bad health/felons/etc. We. Do. Not. Know.

Stop making things up. The baby is now with a couple that isn’t married, need money, with questionable employment. Sounds pretty bad. I doubt they would ever be adoption candidates.

How could such people afford IVF in the first place? Or they couldn’t and that’s how they ended up with this bozo negligent doctor?

They went to the budget clinic with shoddy practices.

So would the other couple.

They aren’t the ones begging for money.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As someone who's a couple weeks off the birth of my second I just can't see divorcing the connection you have with a baby you carry, not unless you're a knowing surrogate going in and are putting that mental distance in already.

I talk to him, notice his patterns, notice his hiccups, etc. We see him in the ultrasounds and my husband watches him kick. To me that's a connection that's separate from DNA. I'm in the thick of it right now but I had the same with my first kid too.

So if this couple had no reason to suspect this baby wasn't their genetic kid, mom would have gone through the same bonding and feelings.

I just can't dismiss that easily.

?

Nobody is suggesting that the woman who carried the baby for 9 months didn’t feel a bond.

Rather, some of us are baffled as to why this woman’s feelings trump doing what’s best for the baby longterm.

If someone could magically swap out this baby with one genetically connected to the white parents, I bet they would agree to the swap.

I don’t understand the assumption above about what’s best for the baby. It sounds as though both sets of parents are equally able to provide good parenting and a loving home for this baby. Since the baby is already bonded with the family she was born into, wouldn’t it be traumatic to take her and give her to a different family now? Even if they are her genetic parents?

We don't know that both sets of parents are "equally able" to provide good parenting for the child. We don't have information about the biological parents, but we do know that birth parent are unmarried, a different race from the child, and begging for money from Go Fund Me.

The birth parents knew immediately upon birth that this was not their genetic child. Within a few months, they located the bio parents. Had the birth parents wanted to minimize trauma for the child (as opposed to themselves), they could've surrendered the baby to the bio parents then.

Instead, the birth parents made clear that they intended to keep the baby. They also sued for money (not that I blame them), ran a Go Fund Me, and took the story public.

What does “different race” matter? People adopt children of different races all the time. I have a number of friends with kids of different races, either by adoption or because the other parent was of a different race and it is not a big deal.

Generally speaking, it doesn’t matter in the context of a traditional adoption where the birth parents voluntarily give up their child and typically have a hand in selecting the adoptive parents. And most adoptions are closed.

This situation is unique: a mixup prompted the custodial parents to claim parental rights.

Racial differences always prompt looks and questions (even in 2026). The kid will grow up looking different from her parents. Moreover, she will know exactly who her birth parents are, that they wanted her, and only consented to this ridiculous setup because the law was against them and the people raising her didn’t relinquish rights to the bio parents who look like her.

If you don’t see how this will saddle the child with a lifetime of baggage, then let’s agree to disagree.

PS - I know a woman whose adoption went off the rails and she had to give the baby back a couple weeks after receiving the newborn from a troubled teen mom. Guess what? It was hard, but she quickly got over it once she was able to adopt another baby.

While this case is rare it isn't unique. In situations where this has happened in the past in progress states like NY, CA, the baby goes back to the biological parents. There was a case of a Korean-American woman had twins through IVF in NY, the twins were a different race and each twin had a different biological parent. Each twin after a few weeks went back to their biological parent.

Unfortunately, the baby was born in Florida in the Handmaiden South, where a mother's intent of what should happen to her biological child doesn't matter. Their baby was legally stolen.

The backwards law in Florida means they couldn't get their biological child back even though the biological mother had NO intention of giving up her embryo or child and the woman who carried the baby had no intent of carrying another women's child. Genetics and intent matter in progressive states like New York, CA, etc. which is why in those states the biological parents would have gotten their child back.

Genetics and intent?
Weren’t those laws built to protect surrogacy agreements?
This is not surrogacy

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As someone who's a couple weeks off the birth of my second I just can't see divorcing the connection you have with a baby you carry, not unless you're a knowing surrogate going in and are putting that mental distance in already.

I talk to him, notice his patterns, notice his hiccups, etc. We see him in the ultrasounds and my husband watches him kick. To me that's a connection that's separate from DNA. I'm in the thick of it right now but I had the same with my first kid too.

So if this couple had no reason to suspect this baby wasn't their genetic kid, mom would have gone through the same bonding and feelings.

I just can't dismiss that easily.

?

Nobody is suggesting that the woman who carried the baby for 9 months didn’t feel a bond.

Rather, some of us are baffled as to why this woman’s feelings trump doing what’s best for the baby longterm.

If someone could magically swap out this baby with one genetically connected to the white parents, I bet they would agree to the swap.

I don’t understand the assumption above about what’s best for the baby. It sounds as though both sets of parents are equally able to provide good parenting and a loving home for this baby. Since the baby is already bonded with the family she was born into, wouldn’t it be traumatic to take her and give her to a different family now? Even if they are her genetic parents?

We don't know that both sets of parents are "equally able" to provide good parenting for the child. We don't have information about the biological parents, but we do know that birth parent are unmarried, a different race from the child, and begging for money from Go Fund Me.

The birth parents knew immediately upon birth that this was not their genetic child. Within a few months, they located the bio parents. Had the birth parents wanted to minimize trauma for the child (as opposed to themselves), they could've surrendered the baby to the bio parents then.

Instead, the birth parents made clear that they intended to keep the baby. They also sued for money (not that I blame them), ran a Go Fund Me, and took the story public.

What does “different race” matter? People adopt children of different races all the time. I have a number of friends with kids of different races, either by adoption or because the other parent was of a different race and it is not a big deal.

Generally speaking, it doesn’t matter in the context of a traditional adoption where the birth parents voluntarily give up their child and typically have a hand in selecting the adoptive parents. And most adoptions are closed.

This situation is unique: a mixup prompted the custodial parents to claim parental rights.

Racial differences always prompt looks and questions (even in 2026). The kid will grow up looking different from her parents. Moreover, she will know exactly who her birth parents are, that they wanted her, and only consented to this ridiculous setup because the law was against them and the people raising her didn’t relinquish rights to the bio parents who look like her.

If you don’t see how this will saddle the child with a lifetime of baggage, then let’s agree to disagree.

PS - I know a woman whose adoption went off the rails and she had to give the baby back a couple weeks after receiving the newborn from a troubled teen mom. Guess what? It was hard, but she quickly got over it once she was able to adopt another baby.

While this case is rare it isn't unique. In situations where this has happened in the past in progress states like NY, CA, the baby goes back to the biological parents. There was a case of a Korean-American woman had twins through IVF in NY, the twins were a different race and each twin had a different biological parent. Each twin after a few weeks went back to their biological parent.

Unfortunately, the baby was born in Florida in the Handmaiden South, where a mother's intent of what should happen to her biological child doesn't matter. Their baby was legally stolen.

The backwards law in Florida means they couldn't get their biological child back even though the biological mother had NO intention of giving up her embryo or child and the woman who carried the baby had no intent of carrying another women's child. Genetics and intent matter in progressive states like New York, CA, etc. which is why in those states the biological parents would have gotten their child back.

I don’t even think you know what a handmaiden is. Forcing a woman to give birth and hand her baby over to a woman of higher social standing is what handmaidens are forced to do. So if anyone would be a handmaiden, it would be the birth mother forced to give up the baby she carried.