Are we ready for the Thanksgiving Vent thread?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s not a big one, but my MIL have exactly five conversation topics, on repeat:
1) Headaches; who has one, what caused it, what might cure it
2) Jim, do you remember Name? You know, Name, the Person who did the Thing? No? You know Name. Well anyway, Name died.
3) Weather!
4) Traffic!
5) We’re thinking about building a cabin on our land in West Virginia. We’ve been looking at plans. I think we’re going to move forward in the spring. (They’ve been saying this for at least 16 years with no action.)

I’ll be hearing some version of #2 this weekend. Not that the person died, thankfully, but some random update about their life.

You remember X? You knew them when you were a teenager. X just moved to Michigan.

Hard to know how to respond besides, “oh, hope he likes it there.”

Wow, thought I was the only one dealing with this type of conversation. Does anyone else have an elder relative that blames all ailments on blood pressure medicine?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My mom always focuses on everyone’s body type and weight. She had already asked me how much three people weigh. I always say it’s rude but she doesn’t care. It is so annoying.

How on earth would you know how much someone else weighs? 😂

My MIL is this way, she comments incessantly on everyone's weight. It makes having even minor weight fluctuations stressful because I know she will clock it and then for the next three months be telling everyone she knows that I look like I recently lost or gained like 10 lbs. I feel bad for her because it's obviously because she also pays that kind of attention to her own weight and has her entire life, but also she is totally oblivious to how toxic it is and how it impacts others.

I have managed to get her to not comment on my DD's weight in front of her, but I have no control over what she says about DD when we aren't around -- I'm certain she's discussing DD's weight with everyone she knows. I hope this never gets back to DD but ugh, it might.

The weight comments! My MIL got banned after ranking DD’s entire Girl Scout troop by weight (NOT in front of them, thank god) after we all went to a Girl Scout event while she was visiting. And then refused to use their real names for the rest of the week and just called them by the nicknames she’d made up for them, because names like “Emma” were “so unusual”. So instead my DD would be telling an anecdote about Emma and MIL would say “who? Do you mean the Chubby One? Or do you mean Big Cheeks?”.

She is awful.

My mother is similar. She thinks being fat is a cardinal sin. So she will describe an interaction with someone, and say "We were helped by this person, who was really quite obese, but you know, actually she was really very polite and well-informed." (in a surprised tone of voice), as if being overweight just automatically precludes any good qualities, so she needs to manually add them back in. She also has gradations of adjectives. "Obese" is reserved for unattractive overweight people. "Rotund" is for overweight people who have retained their looks.

She herself is skeletally thin, eats like a bird and has been that way all her life. She has osteoporosis, no muscular strength to speak of and lacks balance, but she apparently isn't making any connection related to her eating habits.

Sounds exactly like my mother. The body shaming is extremely embarassing and she will have these types of conversation in front of people who stuggle with weight. Yesterday, when referring to someone who has recently lost a ton of weight, she had to add her commentary on the person's hairstyle, and how unbecomming it is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My mom always focuses on everyone’s body type and weight. She had already asked me how much three people weigh. I always say it’s rude but she doesn’t care. It is so annoying.

How on earth would you know how much someone else weighs? 😂

My MIL is this way, she comments incessantly on everyone's weight. It makes having even minor weight fluctuations stressful because I know she will clock it and then for the next three months be telling everyone she knows that I look like I recently lost or gained like 10 lbs. I feel bad for her because it's obviously because she also pays that kind of attention to her own weight and has her entire life, but also she is totally oblivious to how toxic it is and how it impacts others.

I have managed to get her to not comment on my DD's weight in front of her, but I have no control over what she says about DD when we aren't around -- I'm certain she's discussing DD's weight with everyone she knows. I hope this never gets back to DD but ugh, it might.

The weight comments! My MIL got banned after ranking DD’s entire Girl Scout troop by weight (NOT in front of them, thank god) after we all went to a Girl Scout event while she was visiting. And then refused to use their real names for the rest of the week and just called them by the nicknames she’d made up for them, because names like “Emma” were “so unusual”. So instead my DD would be telling an anecdote about Emma and MIL would say “who? Do you mean the Chubby One? Or do you mean Big Cheeks?”.

She is awful.

My mother is similar. She thinks being fat is a cardinal sin. So she will describe an interaction with someone, and say "We were helped by this person, who was really quite obese, but you know, actually she was really very polite and well-informed." (in a surprised tone of voice), as if being overweight just automatically precludes any good qualities, so she needs to manually add them back in. She also has gradations of adjectives. "Obese" is reserved for unattractive overweight people. "Rotund" is for overweight people who have retained their looks.

She herself is skeletally thin, eats like a bird and has been that way all her life. She has osteoporosis, no muscular strength to speak of and lacks balance, but she apparently isn't making any connection related to her eating habits.

Sounds exactly like my mother. The body shaming is extremely embarassing and she will have these types of conversation in front of people who stuggle with weight. Yesterday, when referring to someone who has recently lost a ton of weight, she had to add her commentary on the person's hairstyle, and how unbecomming it is.

My mom thinks she is being generous if she describes the fat person as having beautiful skin.

I didn’t see my her this year for Thanksgiving but this week she has filled my Bingo card but telling me to write two sympathy cards, narrating the neighbors’ senior apartment tour journey, and telling me about the other neighbors’ dogs getting out into her yard.

The latter is relevant because apparently the other neighbor happens to be the youngest brother of a girl who I went to 1st through 4th grade with until she went to private school but her other brother was always a little slow which is why he was held back and didn’t end up in my brother’s grade even though they’re the same age and did you know that he got a horticulture degree? No, no I did not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:WOW, YOUR DAUGHTER SURE LIKES TO SLEEP!
GRANDDAUGHTER SUREEEEEE LIKES TO SLEEP!
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU ALL SLEEP SO LATE!
GOOD MORNING, SLEEPYHEAD!
WOW, THERE SHE IS!

This nonsense goes on from 6 a.m. forward.

What is it with old people and this? Insufferable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My in-laws are from a third world country and grew up without any sense of food safety. We are at their house and every single thing I've personally observed them prepping so far has some sort of food safety problem.

At this point I think I am only comfortable eating the things I am cooking myself, and not even the pie I brought, since they took it out of the fridge after I put it in and left it in the warm garage for 24 hours.

I am so sorry, I hope you didn't also make the pie crust!! What kind of pie?

Pumpkin. Luckily just Costco, not homemade.

I totally get you generally about food safety, but I would totally eat Garage Pie. 🤷‍♀️

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My ILs sit in total silence. They speak to no one including their son and grandkids, unkess its answerin a question. Any and all socializing is torture for these people. I am indeed afraid that my kids have inherited this defect and as my husband ages he seems to be getting more like them.
My dad sits in blissful solitude because he "forgot" his hearing aids again.
My mom is telling my ILs various sob stories trying desperately to get a reaction or sympathy out of them. She will get nothing and end up tipsy on my deck, in tears, asking why I married into such a weird family.

They just want to be left alone! Why is your mother torturing them?! She can chit chat with someone else.

Introverted people like being at the fringes of the event, without engaging too much socially.

I would much rather have introverted people as guests than have people who cannot let a silence go unchallenged.

Sorry, that's just weird with FAMILY. I somewhat understand your point in other situations, but this is not normal.

I know it's not normal for you, but it's not something they can control. They're clearly on the autism spectrum.

🙄

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My ILs sit in total silence. They speak to no one including their son and grandkids, unkess its answerin a question. Any and all socializing is torture for these people. I am indeed afraid that my kids have inherited this defect and as my husband ages he seems to be getting more like them.
My dad sits in blissful solitude because he "forgot" his hearing aids again.
My mom is telling my ILs various sob stories trying desperately to get a reaction or sympathy out of them. She will get nothing and end up tipsy on my deck, in tears, asking why I married into such a weird family.

My SIL’s kids don’t talk either. We see them all the time and they just play on their phones. My husband once cheerfully called out “so nice talking to you” as we were leaving. Their excuse is that Covid was hard for them, socially. It’s been five years. They should be able to converse with relatives.

Yeah, sorry folks. That tattered COVID excuse card you’ve gotten used to waving around? Expired.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My ILs sit in total silence. They speak to no one including their son and grandkids, unkess its answerin a question. Any and all socializing is torture for these people. I am indeed afraid that my kids have inherited this defect and as my husband ages he seems to be getting more like them.
My dad sits in blissful solitude because he "forgot" his hearing aids again.
My mom is telling my ILs various sob stories trying desperately to get a reaction or sympathy out of them. She will get nothing and end up tipsy on my deck, in tears, asking why I married into such a weird family.

My SIL’s kids don’t talk either. We see them all the time and they just play on their phones. My husband once cheerfully called out “so nice talking to you” as we were leaving. Their excuse is that Covid was hard for them, socially. It’s been five years. They should be able to converse with relatives.

I wouldn’t converse with rude, judgmental, snarky adults who are deliberately unkind, either. You’re a problem.

🙄

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My ILs sit in total silence. They speak to no one including their son and grandkids, unkess its answerin a question. Any and all socializing is torture for these people. I am indeed afraid that my kids have inherited this defect and as my husband ages he seems to be getting more like them.
My dad sits in blissful solitude because he "forgot" his hearing aids again.
My mom is telling my ILs various sob stories trying desperately to get a reaction or sympathy out of them. She will get nothing and end up tipsy on my deck, in tears, asking why I married into such a weird family.

My SIL’s kids don’t talk either. We see them all the time and they just play on their phones. My husband once cheerfully called out “so nice talking to you” as we were leaving. Their excuse is that Covid was hard for them, socially. It’s been five years. They should be able to converse with relatives.

I wouldn’t converse with rude, judgmental, snarky adults who are deliberately unkind, either. You’re a problem.

You’re wrong.

Any adult who would sarcastically chide kids who don’t want to be there in the first place is a jerk. I said what I said.

“I said what I said?” Are you an 11-year-old girl? Because if not, how embarrassing for you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:MIL always tries to act like the hostess in my home when she only brings one small dish.

She was telling people what order to start going through and making plates and said “Jane, you’re next.” And I said, “No, Carla, you are next and I am going last because as the hostess in my home, I like to do a last check around and make sure everything is the way I want it.”

And then, off her grumpy look, I said, “Also, I moved your water and wine glass to your seat; I sit opposite Jason.”

She domineers in a thousand little ways, but I stand up for myself when it matters to me.

Ugh. Grande Dame Boomer women are the absolute worst. Sit down, Betty.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:MIL always tries to act like the hostess in my home when she only brings one small dish.

She was telling people what order to start going through and making plates and said “Jane, you’re next.” And I said, “No, Carla, you are next and I am going last because as the hostess in my home, I like to do a last check around and make sure everything is the way I want it.”

And then, off her grumpy look, I said, “Also, I moved your water and wine glass to your seat; I sit opposite Jason.”

She domineers in a thousand little ways, but I stand up for myself when it matters to me.

This sounds so insecure.

Yes, the MIL does sound insecure. Good catch!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:WOW, YOUR DAUGHTER SURE LIKES TO SLEEP!
GRANDDAUGHTER SUREEEEEE LIKES TO SLEEP!
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU ALL SLEEP SO LATE!
GOOD MORNING, SLEEPYHEAD!
WOW, THERE SHE IS!

This nonsense goes on from 6 a.m. forward.

Same. We are not in that person's house today, but we hear this all the time when we are.

I'm adding this to my list of things never to say.

My dad used to say "She lives!" when I'd get up at like 9am on a holiday. So grating. I will never understand people who are resentful that someone is getting rest. Unless there are chores to be done and someone has an obligation or commitment to do them early, why do you care?

I think you’re missing your Dad’s dry sense of humor. I’m sure he’s kidding.

Kidding is supposed to be funny.

He sounds like the type to tell the grocery store cashier “oh, it didn’t ring up? Must be free!” and when they ask if he found everything he needed “well, except a million dollars/a winning lottery ticket! HAR HAR HAR!”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:WOW, YOUR DAUGHTER SURE LIKES TO SLEEP!
GRANDDAUGHTER SUREEEEEE LIKES TO SLEEP!
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU ALL SLEEP SO LATE!
GOOD MORNING, SLEEPYHEAD!
WOW, THERE SHE IS!

This nonsense goes on from 6 a.m. forward.

Same. We are not in that person's house today, but we hear this all the time when we are.

I'm adding this to my list of things never to say.

My dad used to say "She lives!" when I'd get up at like 9am on a holiday. So grating. I will never understand people who are resentful that someone is getting rest. Unless there are chores to be done and someone has an obligation or commitment to do them early, why do you care?

This gave me a flashback to my grandpa who loved to sleep in on the weekend. He’d roll out of bed at 11:00 and proclaim to everyone there “he has risen”. You always get a free pass to sleep in when you like to make your grandkids bacon and eggs at 11:00 pm the night before. Love you and miss you grandpa, the holidays aren’t the same without you ♥️

Aww. This kinda makes me miss your grandpa too. 🙂

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am single and childless and live far from family so I was really excited to spend the holiday with a friend and her extended family. They are all lovely people and I was happy to be surrounded by the joyful chaos of all the kids playing and everybody talking over one another at dinner.

I spent hours yesterday making my favorite Thanksgiving dish: pecan pie. We were all supposed to go to a different house to eat dessert after the football game they were watching ended. As I was carrying the pie to my car on their darkened driveway I tripped and fell flat on my face and ended up with a nasty bruise on my leg and a pie dish that shattered into a thousand tiny pieces.

They were all so lovely about it but I just wanted to cry. I was really excited for that pie and wanted to show it off and share it with all of them. Instead they had to help me clean up broken glass and I ended up going home right away partly to ice my leg and partly bc I didn’t want to cry and spoil their holiday. And I can’t afford to make myself another pie bc pecans are so expensive and I am too broke. It was a special splurge for the holiday.

That sounds disappointing and frustrating. I’m sorry that happened to you. Hope things get better.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Steak tips in a suitcase
How'd TSA let that one fly?
Salmonella in the sky!

- my own personal creation, not AI

I wish we were friends. 😀