Any other moms out just not order when you eat with your family?

[Anonymous]

I wonder how much crossover there is with the “I don’t like food waste” moms who are only drinking bottled water on the other thread?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What?! No this is bizarre. If we go out to eat we all get an entree. If you can’t afford it just cook at home.

Not that I need to defend this but when I did it recently we were flying out of DCA and we needed to eat before our flight. We went to Ben Chili’s bowl which didn’t have a kid’s menu and when my daughter got chicken fingers I just didn’t get anything because I didn’t want to fly with leftovers or waste a crap ton of food. One chicken finger order was enough for both of us. She weighs about 45 lbs.

The ultimate White DCUM Almond Mom: go to a well-known DC landmark restaurant because you can snap a pic of the famous sign outside for Instagram, then go in and order not the world-famous chili or half-smokes, but nothing for you and then Mommy’s Going to Share Your Food. But hey, you put that pic up on Instagram and got your “street cred” for visiting Black-owned DC institution.

Um...she specified that it was at the airport, not the DC landmark. And while I think OP is bonkers (we either go out to eat as a treat for everyone, or cook at home to save money and food), I think airport food is so expensive and hard to take home that this is actually relatable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, why don’t you order what you want, tell the kids they don’t get to choose/order, and that they are expected to eat from whatever scraps you don’t eat after you’ve finished? See how bad that sounds?

Her kids aren’t ordering her to eat their scraps. She is choosing to do so because that’s what she prefers to do. So your scenario is in no way comparable.

It is shocking how triggered some people are at the thought of just waiting to eat the food that you know is going to be left. I think ya’ll are projecting your own weird issues around food onto OP.

“I don’t need anything. I will just have your leftovers.” Is classic covert narcissist behavior. And there is always a very weird dance going on between the husband and wife when one is a covert narcissist.

How is that narcissistic? Not everything is narcissism. Sometimes people just don’t like food waste. Have you googled narcissism?

NP here.
No, I get what that pp is saying, because my husband does a variation of it.
The server will ask if we want desser and I say "Yes, I'd like the cheesecake" and he says "No, I'll just have some of hers" (meaning mine)

WTH? No. I don't like the assumption that I'm willing to share the cheesecake (especially he always ends up eating most of it.)
The last time he did that (told the server he'd just have some of my dessert) I promptly asked the server to please bring me a slice of cheesecake AND a creme brulee.

this is off topic, but no grown adult really needs to eat an entire slice of cake to themselves. that is just unhealthy.

Nobody “needs” a slice of cake, but if an adult wants the occasional slice of cake to herself, there’s nothing wrong with that.

I dont think i have ever gone out to eat with any adult who has insisted on a whole desert to themselves. genuinely. and i'm mid 40s.

We could probably have a whole separate thread on this. I'm 41 and a healthy weight, and if I order dessert at a restaurant, I do plan to eat it and HATE when others at the table assume it's fair game. I don't go to places with Cheesecake Factory sized portions, though.

Yeah, I almost never order dessert because I'm cheap and chubby, but if I do, its because I want it and don't want to split it 3 ways!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What?! No this is bizarre. If we go out to eat we all get an entree. If you can’t afford it just cook at home.

Not that I need to defend this but when I did it recently we were flying out of DCA and we needed to eat before our flight. We went to Ben Chili’s bowl which didn’t have a kid’s menu and when my daughter got chicken fingers I just didn’t get anything because I didn’t want to fly with leftovers or waste a crap ton of food. One chicken finger order was enough for both of us. She weighs about 45 lbs.

I shared some food with my 5/6 year old while we were travelling at an airport food joint is not the same thing as a family going out to dinner come on.

I think your Ben's Chilli Bowl thing sounds totally normal and I do this when out and about with my younger kids too. But if we are going to a restaurant for dinner then I am ordering what I want. I am not going to a restaurant if the $20-$30 for my dinner is going to break the bank. And my husband would be appalled if I regularly deprived myself of what I wanted to eat scraps to save money. If we are going out to eat then we are going out to enjoy a meal together. Something fast on the go is pretty different but why are we even GOING to a restaurant if I'm not hungry? I don't think its disordered to not order a large entree if you aren't hungry, but I do think the entire concept of going out to a restaurant that mom is uncomfortable with the price point of, while she is not enthusiastic about the meal, and then having her nibble off of others plates while ordering nothing for herself points to bad dynamics happening.

Is the bad dynamics martyring? Being a doormat? Her family treating her like crap? I don't know, but something is amiss. And OP clearly senses something is amiss because she posted this. If she really totally didn't care and was fine with everything it wouldn't have occurred to her to seek validation.

And of course if this happened one off whatever, but OP 'basically never orders' and that is weird.

[Anonymous]

OP, how often does your husband forego ordering for himself and eating the kids' scraps?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow I can’t believe OP is still come back and defending this weirdness. It’s a free country! No one can make you order a meal (well actually I guess the restaurant manager could give you the choice of doing that or leaving but they won’t realistically). But it’s a really ridiculous choice. You already said your family finds you weird and cheap. I still remember an older cousin doing this while out to eat with our family doing and eating her toddler’s scraps when I was like 8 so a good 30 years ago. My mom was SO humiliated and tried not to show but leaving a huge tip to try to compensate. It’s weird and awkward for everyone else but it sounds like you prefer that to wasting any food at all (or eating it later, which I really can’t understand either). I posted earlier that I really think you should stop going to restaurants and I still feel that way. It sounds like you’re miserable and making everyone else uncomfortable.

where was it said that op's family feels uncomfortable?

Um, literally her post just a few back where she says she TELLS (not asks) them that she is going to eat their food, and they say no, then she does it anyway. And they have no choice but leave some for her because Mommy Has No Food.

no idea why you are so triggered by this, but again there are many posters on this thread who say they do a version of this. calm down. no one is taking YOUR food.

Asked and answered. Don't want to hear the answer? Don't ask the question "where was it said that op's family feels uncomfortable." OP herself has said that her kids push back and say they want their own food and they are hungry. Then she orders nothing, so now they know they have to share with her: Mommy has no food.

[Anonymous]

I did this when my youngest was 3, because I'm fat and was going to eat his leftovers anyway. He's now 12, and I can't do it anymore.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, why don’t you order what you want, tell the kids they don’t get to choose/order, and that they are expected to eat from whatever scraps you don’t eat after you’ve finished? See how bad that sounds?

Her kids aren’t ordering her to eat their scraps. She is choosing to do so because that’s what she prefers to do. So your scenario is in no way comparable.

It is shocking how triggered some people are at the thought of just waiting to eat the food that you know is going to be left. I think ya’ll are projecting your own weird issues around food onto OP.

“I don’t need anything. I will just have your leftovers.” Is classic covert narcissist behavior. And there is always a very weird dance going on between the husband and wife when one is a covert narcissist.

How is that narcissistic? Not everything is narcissism. Sometimes people just don’t like food waste. Have you googled narcissism?

NP here.
No, I get what that pp is saying, because my husband does a variation of it.
The server will ask if we want desser and I say "Yes, I'd like the cheesecake" and he says "No, I'll just have some of hers" (meaning mine)

WTH? No. I don't like the assumption that I'm willing to share the cheesecake (especially he always ends up eating most of it.)
The last time he did that (told the server he'd just have some of my dessert) I promptly asked the server to please bring me a slice of cheesecake AND a creme brulee.

this is off topic, but no grown adult really needs to eat an entire slice of cake to themselves. that is just unhealthy.

Nobody “needs” a slice of cake, but if an adult wants the occasional slice of cake to herself, there’s nothing wrong with that.

I dont think i have ever gone out to eat with any adult who has insisted on a whole desert to themselves. genuinely. and i'm mid 40s.

We could probably have a whole separate thread on this. I'm 41 and a healthy weight, and if I order dessert at a restaurant, I do plan to eat it and HATE when others at the table assume it's fair game. I don't go to places with Cheesecake Factory sized portions, though.

Yep. If I order dessert I’m eating the whole damn thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What?! No this is bizarre. If we go out to eat we all get an entree. If you can’t afford it just cook at home.

Not that I need to defend this but when I did it recently we were flying out of DCA and we needed to eat before our flight. We went to Ben Chili’s bowl which didn’t have a kid’s menu and when my daughter got chicken fingers I just didn’t get anything because I didn’t want to fly with leftovers or waste a crap ton of food. One chicken finger order was enough for both of us. She weighs about 45 lbs.

The ultimate White DCUM Almond Mom: go to a well-known DC landmark restaurant because you can snap a pic of the famous sign outside for Instagram, then go in and order not the world-famous chili or half-smokes, but nothing for you and then Mommy’s Going to Share Your Food. But hey, you put that pic up on Instagram and got your “street cred” for visiting Black-owned DC institution.

No almond mom allows her daughter to order chicken fingers, much less eats them herself.

[Anonymous]

I’ve gotten leftovers to go all over Europe. It’s certainly done there.

But I order my own food here. My palate is not that of a toddler’s, and I prefer not to eat like one.

[Anonymous]

So you sit there and watch everyone else eat and when Johnny decides he’s done you finally get to eat? So your family has to sit there and watch you eat table scraps after they’ve finished and are ready to leave? What a bizarre way to live. Why even go out to eat?

[Anonymous]

Moms this is terrible!!! Please don’t do this. I am all for combatting food waste but if you can’t eat with your family you’re teaching them you are a second class citizen! This is a no. Show them you live joyfully, split a few plates, share the food and enjoy your outing!!! We are a well off family and eat 99 percent of our meals at home, I am an avid and creative cook and if we go out to eat it’s a rest and respite for me and I enjoy it to the max. If anything, watching my kids order bland kids menus bums me out. Let’s split something awesome and not waste it! If cost is an issue, find somewhere more affordable. It’s the whole experience!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So you sit there and watch everyone else eat and when Johnny decides he’s done you finally get to eat? So your family has to sit there and watch you eat table scraps after they’ve finished and are ready to leave? What a bizarre way to live. Why even go out to eat?

Because they HaTe FoOd WaStE!!!!!!111

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow I can’t believe OP is still come back and defending this weirdness. It’s a free country! No one can make you order a meal (well actually I guess the restaurant manager could give you the choice of doing that or leaving but they won’t realistically). But it’s a really ridiculous choice. You already said your family finds you weird and cheap. I still remember an older cousin doing this while out to eat with our family doing and eating her toddler’s scraps when I was like 8 so a good 30 years ago. My mom was SO humiliated and tried not to show but leaving a huge tip to try to compensate. It’s weird and awkward for everyone else but it sounds like you prefer that to wasting any food at all (or eating it later, which I really can’t understand either). I posted earlier that I really think you should stop going to restaurants and I still feel that way. It sounds like you’re miserable and making everyone else uncomfortable.

where was it said that op's family feels uncomfortable?

Um, literally her post just a few back where she says she TELLS (not asks) them that she is going to eat their food, and they say no, then she does it anyway. And they have no choice but leave some for her because Mommy Has No Food.

no idea why you are so triggered by this, but again there are many posters on this thread who say they do a version of this. calm down. no one is taking YOUR food.

Asked and answered. Don't want to hear the answer? Don't ask the question "where was it said that op's family feels uncomfortable." OP herself has said that her kids push back and say they want their own food and they are hungry. Then she orders nothing, so now they know they have to share with her: Mommy has no food.

I read it more like this:
Kid: I'm ordering the hangar steak
Mom: you are not going to finish that
Kid: Yes I am I suuuuuper hungry
Mom: ok fine order it (he's not going to finish it so I won't order)
Kid: I'm full

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, why don’t you order what you want, tell the kids they don’t get to choose/order, and that they are expected to eat from whatever scraps you don’t eat after you’ve finished? See how bad that sounds?

Her kids aren’t ordering her to eat their scraps. She is choosing to do so because that’s what she prefers to do. So your scenario is in no way comparable.

It is shocking how triggered some people are at the thought of just waiting to eat the food that you know is going to be left. I think ya’ll are projecting your own weird issues around food onto OP.

“I don’t need anything. I will just have your leftovers.” Is classic covert narcissist behavior. And there is always a very weird dance going on between the husband and wife when one is a covert narcissist.

How is that narcissistic? Not everything is narcissism. Sometimes people just don’t like food waste. Have you googled narcissism?

NP here.
No, I get what that pp is saying, because my husband does a variation of it.
The server will ask if we want desser and I say "Yes, I'd like the cheesecake" and he says "No, I'll just have some of hers" (meaning mine)

WTH? No. I don't like the assumption that I'm willing to share the cheesecake (especially he always ends up eating most of it.)
The last time he did that (told the server he'd just have some of my dessert) I promptly asked the server to please bring me a slice of cheesecake AND a creme brulee.

this is off topic, but no grown adult really needs to eat an entire slice of cake to themselves. that is just unhealthy.

Nobody “needs” a slice of cake, but if an adult wants the occasional slice of cake to herself, there’s nothing wrong with that.

I dont think i have ever gone out to eat with any adult who has insisted on a whole desert to themselves. genuinely. and i'm mid 40s.

We could probably have a whole separate thread on this. I'm 41 and a healthy weight, and if I order dessert at a restaurant, I do plan to eat it and HATE when others at the table assume it's fair game. I don't go to places with Cheesecake Factory sized portions, though.

Yep. If I order dessert I’m eating the whole damn thing.

Same and before someone oinks at me or accuses me of “bullying up to the trough” let me just say I wear size 2.