“Rich” but Broke - What can we cut?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not OP but have similar income and kids in elementary. I thought things would get better as they got older but it really hasn’t. We have extended day $340/mos for my youngest. The oldest walks home afterschool because of sports, etc. $5k a year on sports. $9k/yr per kid for sleepaway and other camps in summer. I grew up in New England and everyone went away for sleepaway for 8 weeks. My oldest started last summer but I’m another year both will be at sleepaway. Then piano lessons, tae kwon do, art classes. I get this is a very privileged childhood we’re providing. We sacrifice on other stuff like simple vacations and beater cars. I thought it’d get better once kids were in public school but it didn’t.

Why have kids if you are going to pack them away every summer for 8 weeks to sleep away camps? It’s your time to bond as a family. It’s the most bizarre thing I have read on dcum and that’s saying something.

100 percent. Sending your kid to boarding school fosters independence too. So does ignoring them. I don’t see why someone who loves their kids would want to ship them away for so long.

Yes, clearly you don't see the benefits and therefore camp is not right for your family. My family has been doing sleep away camp for generations and I wouldn't even consider robbing my children of such and wonderful experience. I love them too much and want to give them what I had, and I can afford to. We only do a month long camp though, then we take a month of vacation at our summer home, followed by 2 weeks in Europe. We spend great quality time together and with extended family. It's not like shipping them off because we don't like them as some suggest. It's quite the opposite. My oldet completed her 6th year of camp and my youngest just started this summer. Oh and 2 of my nieces also attend the same camp. Another niece prefers a competition riding camp instead and my nephew wanted to do a different all boy camp with his friends from school. To me, it's expensive but worth it. We view private school the same way.

Agree to disagree. I can afford such camps at 760k HHI but would never send my kids to live with strangers and for bulk of summer.

I think the first statement sums it up. Clearly you don't see the benefits and therefore it's not the right choice for your family. If you saw the benefits you would choose differently. So we agree to agree.

Oh do you mean like my friend who got raped at sleep away camp?

Lots of kids get raped at college. Should we all stop going? It would save a lot of money.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not OP but have similar income and kids in elementary. I thought things would get better as they got older but it really hasn’t. We have extended day $340/mos for my youngest. The oldest walks home afterschool because of sports, etc. $5k a year on sports. $9k/yr per kid for sleepaway and other camps in summer. I grew up in New England and everyone went away for sleepaway for 8 weeks. My oldest started last summer but I’m another year both will be at sleepaway. Then piano lessons, tae kwon do, art classes. I get this is a very privileged childhood we’re providing. We sacrifice on other stuff like simple vacations and beater cars. I thought it’d get better once kids were in public school but it didn’t.

Why have kids if you are going to pack them away every summer for 8 weeks to sleep away camps? It’s your time to bond as a family. It’s the most bizarre thing I have read on dcum and that’s saying something.

100 percent. Sending your kid to boarding school fosters independence too. So does ignoring them. I don’t see why someone who loves their kids would want to ship them away for so long.

Yes, clearly you don't see the benefits and therefore camp is not right for your family. My family has been doing sleep away camp for generations and I wouldn't even consider robbing my children of such and wonderful experience. I love them too much and want to give them what I had, and I can afford to. We only do a month long camp though, then we take a month of vacation at our summer home, followed by 2 weeks in Europe. We spend great quality time together and with extended family. It's not like shipping them off because we don't like them as some suggest. It's quite the opposite. My oldet completed her 6th year of camp and my youngest just started this summer. Oh and 2 of my nieces also attend the same camp. Another niece prefers a competition riding camp instead and my nephew wanted to do a different all boy camp with his friends from school. To me, it's expensive but worth it. We view private school the same way.

Agree to disagree. I can afford such camps at 760k HHI but would never send my kids to live with strangers and for bulk of summer.

Right? I know people who send their kids to sleep away camps and they don't do it for the benefit of the kid, they do it so that they can have a month to themselves - usually they take a week vacation to some fabulous adult location and the rest of the time they're eating out at fancy DC restaurants three times a week. People choose sleep away camp for the parents, not for the kids.

Or because sleep away camp is a great experience and a chance to make good friends outside of your region.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here: retirement savings are just what employer matches (8% me, 4% husband). Health insurance is a huge cut, plus I work for fed and have 4.4% of my pay cut for govt pension. Both kids are in FT daycare; we don’t have space for an au pair. Cars were purchased before we got married 6 years ago / had kids + insurance is very expensive.

Helpful to know it’s just a season in life…

OP we have a similar monthly take home, same exact mortgage, same car expenses. Also two kids, but not in daycare. It's your daycare costs which for now are fixed. It is what it is. You're going to have to do without for a few years, mostly that means fancy summer vacations which to me is anything longer than one week at the beach, a US beach. And eating at home as much as possible, the price to dine out has become insane. I wouldn't ease up on funding retirement, that will just increase your taxable income. Basically, learn to live without.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here: retirement savings are just what employer matches (8% me, 4% husband). Health insurance is a huge cut, plus I work for fed and have 4.4% of my pay cut for govt pension. Both kids are in FT daycare; we don’t have space for an au pair. Cars were purchased before we got married 6 years ago / had kids + insurance is very expensive.

Helpful to know it’s just a season in life…

OP we have a similar monthly take home, same exact mortgage, same car expenses. Also two kids, but not in daycare. It's your daycare costs which for now are fixed. It is what it is. You're going to have to do without for a few years, mostly that means fancy summer vacations which to me is anything longer than one week at the beach, a US beach. And eating at home as much as possible, the price to dine out has become insane. I wouldn't ease up on funding retirement, that will just increase your taxable income. Basically, learn to live without.

** NO fancy summer vacations

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not OP but have similar income and kids in elementary. I thought things would get better as they got older but it really hasn’t. We have extended day $340/mos for my youngest. The oldest walks home afterschool because of sports, etc. $5k a year on sports. $9k/yr per kid for sleepaway and other camps in summer. I grew up in New England and everyone went away for sleepaway for 8 weeks. My oldest started last summer but I’m another year both will be at sleepaway. Then piano lessons, tae kwon do, art classes. I get this is a very privileged childhood we’re providing. We sacrifice on other stuff like simple vacations and beater cars. I thought it’d get better once kids were in public school but it didn’t.

Why have kids if you are going to pack them away every summer for 8 weeks to sleep away camps? It’s your time to bond as a family. It’s the most bizarre thing I have read on dcum and that’s saying something.

100 percent. Sending your kid to boarding school fosters independence too. So does ignoring them. I don’t see why someone who loves their kids would want to ship them away for so long.

Yes, clearly you don't see the benefits and therefore camp is not right for your family. My family has been doing sleep away camp for generations and I wouldn't even consider robbing my children of such and wonderful experience. I love them too much and want to give them what I had, and I can afford to. We only do a month long camp though, then we take a month of vacation at our summer home, followed by 2 weeks in Europe. We spend great quality time together and with extended family. It's not like shipping them off because we don't like them as some suggest. It's quite the opposite. My oldet completed her 6th year of camp and my youngest just started this summer. Oh and 2 of my nieces also attend the same camp. Another niece prefers a competition riding camp instead and my nephew wanted to do a different all boy camp with his friends from school. To me, it's expensive but worth it. We view private school the same way.

Agree to disagree. I can afford such camps at 760k HHI but would never send my kids to live with strangers and for bulk of summer.

Right? I know people who send their kids to sleep away camps and they don't do it for the benefit of the kid, they do it so that they can have a month to themselves - usually they take a week vacation to some fabulous adult location and the rest of the time they're eating out at fancy DC restaurants three times a week. People choose sleep away camp for the parents, not for the kids.

This is why we do it!
We don’t do a fancy vacation, but we both take a week off and have a stay-cation.
We definitely go to a few fancy dinners and meet up with friends.
It’s much better for everyone than renting a house somewhere for a week.

[Anonymous]

Yeah, I used to go to camp for 4 weeks every summer and absolutely loved it. I got introduced to so many things I never would have been able to do in the city - whitewater rafting, backcountry camping, rock climbing, mountain biking, horseback riding, caving. Plus I made friends from all over the country, many of whom I am still friends with 25+ years later.

to totally go off topic- which sleep away camp is this? My kids do sailing camp and take riding lessons but would lovvvve to do a sleep away camp that is focused on teaching them all of these skills b/c they dont much like traditional ball sports. they also love going rock climbing and bouldering at the gym but I'd love for them to learn how to do it out of doors.