“Rich” but Broke - What can we cut?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not OP but have similar income and kids in elementary. I thought things would get better as they got older but it really hasn’t. We have extended day $340/mos for my youngest. The oldest walks home afterschool because of sports, etc. $5k a year on sports. $9k/yr per kid for sleepaway and other camps in summer. I grew up in New England and everyone went away for sleepaway for 8 weeks. My oldest started last summer but I’m another year both will be at sleepaway. Then piano lessons, tae kwon do, art classes. I get this is a very privileged childhood we’re providing. We sacrifice on other stuff like simple vacations and beater cars. I thought it’d get better once kids were in public school but it didn’t.

+1 .. DS is in HS. FWIW .. it just does not get better. music, soccer, math, volunteer hours etc. Include your beer(s) to keep up with all the brouhaha

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not OP but have similar income and kids in elementary. I thought things would get better as they got older but it really hasn’t. We have extended day $340/mos for my youngest. The oldest walks home afterschool because of sports, etc. $5k a year on sports. $9k/yr per kid for sleepaway and other camps in summer. I grew up in New England and everyone went away for sleepaway for 8 weeks. My oldest started last summer but I’m another year both will be at sleepaway. Then piano lessons, tae kwon do, art classes. I get this is a very privileged childhood we’re providing. We sacrifice on other stuff like simple vacations and beater cars. I thought it’d get better once kids were in public school but it didn’t.

I have no idea why you’d forgo nice family vacations to bond as a family to fund sleepaway camp so that your child can bond with strangers and potentially be exposed to older creeps. My brain must be wired differently.

Yes, sleepaway camps have a of benefits like fostering independence, etc. and your brain is wired differently to only see negatives. It's about priorities and to each his / her own.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not OP but have similar income and kids in elementary. I thought things would get better as they got older but it really hasn’t. We have extended day $340/mos for my youngest. The oldest walks home afterschool because of sports, etc. $5k a year on sports. $9k/yr per kid for sleepaway and other camps in summer. I grew up in New England and everyone went away for sleepaway for 8 weeks. My oldest started last summer but I’m another year both will be at sleepaway. Then piano lessons, tae kwon do, art classes. I get this is a very privileged childhood we’re providing. We sacrifice on other stuff like simple vacations and beater cars. I thought it’d get better once kids were in public school but it didn’t.

I have no idea why you’d forgo nice family vacations to bond as a family to fund sleepaway camp so that your child can bond with strangers and potentially be exposed to older creeps. My brain must be wired differently.

Yes, sleepaway camps have a of benefits like fostering independence, etc. and your brain is wired differently to only see negatives. It's about priorities and to each his / her own.

DP. Well obviously you can provide both experiences, it doesn't have to be either/or. Is going to sleepaway camp for the entire summer a rich person thing? Most kids I know went for 1-2 weeks. Plenty f money left for vacations if you scale back a bit on $2k per week camps.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not OP but have similar income and kids in elementary. I thought things would get better as they got older but it really hasn’t. We have extended day $340/mos for my youngest. The oldest walks home afterschool because of sports, etc. $5k a year on sports. $9k/yr per kid for sleepaway and other camps in summer. I grew up in New England and everyone went away for sleepaway for 8 weeks. My oldest started last summer but I’m another year both will be at sleepaway. Then piano lessons, tae kwon do, art classes. I get this is a very privileged childhood we’re providing. We sacrifice on other stuff like simple vacations and beater cars. I thought it’d get better once kids were in public school but it didn’t.

Ok, what is your point. Stop complains about what you spend, and learn to say no. You choose to do all those things. Those of us who cannot afford that say no. I would not spend $9k on sleep away camp.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not OP but have similar income and kids in elementary. I thought things would get better as they got older but it really hasn’t. We have extended day $340/mos for my youngest. The oldest walks home afterschool because of sports, etc. $5k a year on sports. $9k/yr per kid for sleepaway and other camps in summer. I grew up in New England and everyone went away for sleepaway for 8 weeks. My oldest started last summer but I’m another year both will be at sleepaway. Then piano lessons, tae kwon do, art classes. I get this is a very privileged childhood we’re providing. We sacrifice on other stuff like simple vacations and beater cars. I thought it’d get better once kids were in public school but it didn’t.

Why have kids if you are going to pack them away every summer for 8 weeks to sleep away camps? It’s your time to bond as a family. It’s the most bizarre thing I have read on dcum and that’s saying something.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not OP but have similar income and kids in elementary. I thought things would get better as they got older but it really hasn’t. We have extended day $340/mos for my youngest. The oldest walks home afterschool because of sports, etc. $5k a year on sports. $9k/yr per kid for sleepaway and other camps in summer. I grew up in New England and everyone went away for sleepaway for 8 weeks. My oldest started last summer but I’m another year both will be at sleepaway. Then piano lessons, tae kwon do, art classes. I get this is a very privileged childhood we’re providing. We sacrifice on other stuff like simple vacations and beater cars. I thought it’d get better once kids were in public school but it didn’t.

Why have kids if you are going to pack them away every summer for 8 weeks to sleep away camps? It’s your time to bond as a family. It’s the most bizarre thing I have read on dcum and that’s saying something.

Many people I know don't actually like their own children. Its a strange thing to behold, but much more common than I realized. Hence all the SAHM's with nannies and working parents who sign their children up for after school activities 5-6 days a week because they really just don't want to be stuck with their own kids and have to actually spend time with them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not OP but have similar income and kids in elementary. I thought things would get better as they got older but it really hasn’t. We have extended day $340/mos for my youngest. The oldest walks home afterschool because of sports, etc. $5k a year on sports. $9k/yr per kid for sleepaway and other camps in summer. I grew up in New England and everyone went away for sleepaway for 8 weeks. My oldest started last summer but I’m another year both will be at sleepaway. Then piano lessons, tae kwon do, art classes. I get this is a very privileged childhood we’re providing. We sacrifice on other stuff like simple vacations and beater cars. I thought it’d get better once kids were in public school but it didn’t.

+1 .. DS is in HS. FWIW .. it just does not get better. music, soccer, math, volunteer hours etc. Include your beer(s) to keep up with all the brouhaha

You need to make more money. Those sleep away camps are for people with generational wealth or $1M+ incomes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not OP but have similar income and kids in elementary. I thought things would get better as they got older but it really hasn’t. We have extended day $340/mos for my youngest. The oldest walks home afterschool because of sports, etc. $5k a year on sports. $9k/yr per kid for sleepaway and other camps in summer. I grew up in New England and everyone went away for sleepaway for 8 weeks. My oldest started last summer but I’m another year both will be at sleepaway. Then piano lessons, tae kwon do, art classes. I get this is a very privileged childhood we’re providing. We sacrifice on other stuff like simple vacations and beater cars. I thought it’d get better once kids were in public school but it didn’t.

+1 .. DS is in HS. FWIW .. it just does not get better. music, soccer, math, volunteer hours etc. Include your beer(s) to keep up with all the brouhaha

You need to make more money. Those sleep away camps are for people with generational wealth or $1M+ incomes.

+1. Champagne tastes on a beer budget. It’s endemic in this country.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not OP but have similar income and kids in elementary. I thought things would get better as they got older but it really hasn’t. We have extended day $340/mos for my youngest. The oldest walks home afterschool because of sports, etc. $5k a year on sports. $9k/yr per kid for sleepaway and other camps in summer. I grew up in New England and everyone went away for sleepaway for 8 weeks. My oldest started last summer but I’m another year both will be at sleepaway. Then piano lessons, tae kwon do, art classes. I get this is a very privileged childhood we’re providing. We sacrifice on other stuff like simple vacations and beater cars. I thought it’d get better once kids were in public school but it didn’t.

Why have kids if you are going to pack them away every summer for 8 weeks to sleep away camps? It’s your time to bond as a family. It’s the most bizarre thing I have read on dcum and that’s saying something.

100 percent. Sending your kid to boarding school fosters independence too. So does ignoring them. I don’t see why someone who loves their kids would want to ship them away for so long.

[Anonymous]

That 5K is why so many women leave the workforce to care for their children. But later, it can be hard to go back. Probably better to tough out these next few years and then still have the income later.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not OP but have similar income and kids in elementary. I thought things would get better as they got older but it really hasn’t. We have extended day $340/mos for my youngest. The oldest walks home afterschool because of sports, etc. $5k a year on sports. $9k/yr per kid for sleepaway and other camps in summer. I grew up in New England and everyone went away for sleepaway for 8 weeks. My oldest started last summer but I’m another year both will be at sleepaway. Then piano lessons, tae kwon do, art classes. I get this is a very privileged childhood we’re providing. We sacrifice on other stuff like simple vacations and beater cars. I thought it’d get better once kids were in public school but it didn’t.

+1 .. DS is in HS. FWIW .. it just does not get better. music, soccer, math, volunteer hours etc. Include your beer(s) to keep up with all the brouhaha

You need to make more money. Those sleep away camps are for people with generational wealth or $1M+ incomes.

+1. Champagne tastes on a beer budget. It’s endemic in this country.

+1 I see a lot of people who are new to UMC do this. $300K HHI sounds like a lot and they just think these are things that UMC people do. So they spend a lot on restaurants/take out, childcare, and kids activities without budgeting. They just see other people do it and don't stop to think about their own specific financial picture. They see others paying for this stuff without understanding that the other people might have a higher HHI, or lower mortgage, or family money. This mindset is so prevalent in DC.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not OP but have similar income and kids in elementary. I thought things would get better as they got older but it really hasn’t. We have extended day $340/mos for my youngest. The oldest walks home afterschool because of sports, etc. $5k a year on sports. $9k/yr per kid for sleepaway and other camps in summer. I grew up in New England and everyone went away for sleepaway for 8 weeks. My oldest started last summer but I’m another year both will be at sleepaway. Then piano lessons, tae kwon do, art classes. I get this is a very privileged childhood we’re providing. We sacrifice on other stuff like simple vacations and beater cars. I thought it’d get better once kids were in public school but it didn’t.

+1 .. DS is in HS. FWIW .. it just does not get better. music, soccer, math, volunteer hours etc. Include your beer(s) to keep up with all the brouhaha

+2

it never gets less expensive; our kids are in college now

once daycare costs went away there were other costs that replaced them

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not OP but have similar income and kids in elementary. I thought things would get better as they got older but it really hasn’t. We have extended day $340/mos for my youngest. The oldest walks home afterschool because of sports, etc. $5k a year on sports. $9k/yr per kid for sleepaway and other camps in summer. I grew up in New England and everyone went away for sleepaway for 8 weeks. My oldest started last summer but I’m another year both will be at sleepaway. Then piano lessons, tae kwon do, art classes. I get this is a very privileged childhood we’re providing. We sacrifice on other stuff like simple vacations and beater cars. I thought it’d get better once kids were in public school but it didn’t.

+1 .. DS is in HS. FWIW .. it just does not get better. music, soccer, math, volunteer hours etc. Include your beer(s) to keep up with all the brouhaha

You need to make more money. Those sleep away camps are for people with generational wealth or $1M+ incomes.

+1. Champagne tastes on a beer budget. It’s endemic in this country.

+1 I see a lot of people who are new to UMC do this. $300K HHI sounds like a lot and they just think these are things that UMC people do. So they spend a lot on restaurants/take out, childcare, and kids activities without budgeting. They just see other people do it and don't stop to think about their own specific financial picture. They see others paying for this stuff without understanding that the other people might have a higher HHI, or lower mortgage, or family money. This mindset is so prevalent in DC.

+1

It's prevalent everywhere. So strange to me as we never ever purchased things unless we had money/could afford it. We have never NOT paid a credit card off in full each month, we worked towards not having car loans by age 32 (by driving older cars and saving the original payments for the last 7 years---that coupled with the 10 year old car trade in put us in a new car for cash

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not OP but have similar income and kids in elementary. I thought things would get better as they got older but it really hasn’t. We have extended day $340/mos for my youngest. The oldest walks home afterschool because of sports, etc. $5k a year on sports. $9k/yr per kid for sleepaway and other camps in summer. I grew up in New England and everyone went away for sleepaway for 8 weeks. My oldest started last summer but I’m another year both will be at sleepaway. Then piano lessons, tae kwon do, art classes. I get this is a very privileged childhood we’re providing. We sacrifice on other stuff like simple vacations and beater cars. I thought it’d get better once kids were in public school but it didn’t.

Why have kids if you are going to pack them away every summer for 8 weeks to sleep away camps? It’s your time to bond as a family. It’s the most bizarre thing I have read on dcum and that’s saying something.

100 percent. Sending your kid to boarding school fosters independence too. So does ignoring them. I don’t see why someone who loves their kids would want to ship them away for so long.

Yes, clearly you don't see the benefits and therefore camp is not right for your family. My family has been doing sleep away camp for generations and I wouldn't even consider robbing my children of such and wonderful experience. I love them too much and want to give them what I had, and I can afford to. We only do a month long camp though, then we take a month of vacation at our summer home, followed by 2 weeks in Europe. We spend great quality time together and with extended family. It's not like shipping them off because we don't like them as some suggest. It's quite the opposite. My oldet completed her 6th year of camp and my youngest just started this summer. Oh and 2 of my nieces also attend the same camp. Another niece prefers a competition riding camp instead and my nephew wanted to do a different all boy camp with his friends from school. To me, it's expensive but worth it. We view private school the same way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not OP but have similar income and kids in elementary. I thought things would get better as they got older but it really hasn’t. We have extended day $340/mos for my youngest. The oldest walks home afterschool because of sports, etc. $5k a year on sports. $9k/yr per kid for sleepaway and other camps in summer. I grew up in New England and everyone went away for sleepaway for 8 weeks. My oldest started last summer but I’m another year both will be at sleepaway. Then piano lessons, tae kwon do, art classes. I get this is a very privileged childhood we’re providing. We sacrifice on other stuff like simple vacations and beater cars. I thought it’d get better once kids were in public school but it didn’t.

Why have kids if you are going to pack them away every summer for 8 weeks to sleep away camps? It’s your time to bond as a family. It’s the most bizarre thing I have read on dcum and that’s saying something.

100 percent. Sending your kid to boarding school fosters independence too. So does ignoring them. I don’t see why someone who loves their kids would want to ship them away for so long.

Yes, clearly you don't see the benefits and therefore camp is not right for your family. My family has been doing sleep away camp for generations and I wouldn't even consider robbing my children of such and wonderful experience. I love them too much and want to give them what I had, and I can afford to. We only do a month long camp though, then we take a month of vacation at our summer home, followed by 2 weeks in Europe. We spend great quality time together and with extended family. It's not like shipping them off because we don't like them as some suggest. It's quite the opposite. My oldet completed her 6th year of camp and my youngest just started this summer. Oh and 2 of my nieces also attend the same camp. Another niece prefers a competition riding camp instead and my nephew wanted to do a different all boy camp with his friends from school. To me, it's expensive but worth it. We view private school the same way.

This thread is for people who DON'T have enough money for all of this. Not for people who DO. I know its hard to follow along.