“Rich” but Broke - What can we cut?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not OP but have similar income and kids in elementary. I thought things would get better as they got older but it really hasn’t. We have extended day $340/mos for my youngest. The oldest walks home afterschool because of sports, etc. $5k a year on sports. $9k/yr per kid for sleepaway and other camps in summer. I grew up in New England and everyone went away for sleepaway for 8 weeks. My oldest started last summer but I’m another year both will be at sleepaway. Then piano lessons, tae kwon do, art classes. I get this is a very privileged childhood we’re providing. We sacrifice on other stuff like simple vacations and beater cars. I thought it’d get better once kids were in public school but it didn’t.

Why have kids if you are going to pack them away every summer for 8 weeks to sleep away camps? It’s your time to bond as a family. It’s the most bizarre thing I have read on dcum and that’s saying something.

100 percent. Sending your kid to boarding school fosters independence too. So does ignoring them. I don’t see why someone who loves their kids would want to ship them away for so long.

Yes, clearly you don't see the benefits and therefore camp is not right for your family. My family has been doing sleep away camp for generations and I wouldn't even consider robbing my children of such and wonderful experience. I love them too much and want to give them what I had, and I can afford to. We only do a month long camp though, then we take a month of vacation at our summer home, followed by 2 weeks in Europe. We spend great quality time together and with extended family. It's not like shipping them off because we don't like them as some suggest. It's quite the opposite. My oldet completed her 6th year of camp and my youngest just started this summer. Oh and 2 of my nieces also attend the same camp. Another niece prefers a competition riding camp instead and my nephew wanted to do a different all boy camp with his friends from school. To me, it's expensive but worth it. We view private school the same way.

Agree to disagree. I can afford such camps at 760k HHI but would never send my kids to live with strangers and for bulk of summer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not OP but have similar income and kids in elementary. I thought things would get better as they got older but it really hasn’t. We have extended day $340/mos for my youngest. The oldest walks home afterschool because of sports, etc. $5k a year on sports. $9k/yr per kid for sleepaway and other camps in summer. I grew up in New England and everyone went away for sleepaway for 8 weeks. My oldest started last summer but I’m another year both will be at sleepaway. Then piano lessons, tae kwon do, art classes. I get this is a very privileged childhood we’re providing. We sacrifice on other stuff like simple vacations and beater cars. I thought it’d get better once kids were in public school but it didn’t.

Why have kids if you are going to pack them away every summer for 8 weeks to sleep away camps? It’s your time to bond as a family. It’s the most bizarre thing I have read on dcum and that’s saying something.

100 percent. Sending your kid to boarding school fosters independence too. So does ignoring them. I don’t see why someone who loves their kids would want to ship them away for so long.

Yes, clearly you don't see the benefits and therefore camp is not right for your family. My family has been doing sleep away camp for generations and I wouldn't even consider robbing my children of such and wonderful experience. I love them too much and want to give them what I had, and I can afford to. We only do a month long camp though, then we take a month of vacation at our summer home, followed by 2 weeks in Europe. We spend great quality time together and with extended family. It's not like shipping them off because we don't like them as some suggest. It's quite the opposite. My oldet completed her 6th year of camp and my youngest just started this summer. Oh and 2 of my nieces also attend the same camp. Another niece prefers a competition riding camp instead and my nephew wanted to do a different all boy camp with his friends from school. To me, it's expensive but worth it. We view private school the same way.

This thread is for people who DON'T have enough money for all of this. Not for people who DO. I know its hard to follow along.

You must be new here. The m.o. is to drive off topic and come back. Yes, not the intent bit read any other post here an you see its true. I know that must be hard for you to believe.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not OP but have similar income and kids in elementary. I thought things would get better as they got older but it really hasn’t. We have extended day $340/mos for my youngest. The oldest walks home afterschool because of sports, etc. $5k a year on sports. $9k/yr per kid for sleepaway and other camps in summer. I grew up in New England and everyone went away for sleepaway for 8 weeks. My oldest started last summer but I’m another year both will be at sleepaway. Then piano lessons, tae kwon do, art classes. I get this is a very privileged childhood we’re providing. We sacrifice on other stuff like simple vacations and beater cars. I thought it’d get better once kids were in public school but it didn’t.

Why have kids if you are going to pack them away every summer for 8 weeks to sleep away camps? It’s your time to bond as a family. It’s the most bizarre thing I have read on dcum and that’s saying something.

100 percent. Sending your kid to boarding school fosters independence too. So does ignoring them. I don’t see why someone who loves their kids would want to ship them away for so long.

Yes, clearly you don't see the benefits and therefore camp is not right for your family. My family has been doing sleep away camp for generations and I wouldn't even consider robbing my children of such and wonderful experience. I love them too much and want to give them what I had, and I can afford to. We only do a month long camp though, then we take a month of vacation at our summer home, followed by 2 weeks in Europe. We spend great quality time together and with extended family. It's not like shipping them off because we don't like them as some suggest. It's quite the opposite. My oldet completed her 6th year of camp and my youngest just started this summer. Oh and 2 of my nieces also attend the same camp. Another niece prefers a competition riding camp instead and my nephew wanted to do a different all boy camp with his friends from school. To me, it's expensive but worth it. We view private school the same way.

Agree to disagree. I can afford such camps at 760k HHI but would never send my kids to live with strangers and for bulk of summer.

I think the first statement sums it up. Clearly you don't see the benefits and therefore it's not the right choice for your family. If you saw the benefits you would choose differently. So we agree to agree.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not OP but have similar income and kids in elementary. I thought things would get better as they got older but it really hasn’t. We have extended day $340/mos for my youngest. The oldest walks home afterschool because of sports, etc. $5k a year on sports. $9k/yr per kid for sleepaway and other camps in summer. I grew up in New England and everyone went away for sleepaway for 8 weeks. My oldest started last summer but I’m another year both will be at sleepaway. Then piano lessons, tae kwon do, art classes. I get this is a very privileged childhood we’re providing. We sacrifice on other stuff like simple vacations and beater cars. I thought it’d get better once kids were in public school but it didn’t.

Why have kids if you are going to pack them away every summer for 8 weeks to sleep away camps? It’s your time to bond as a family. It’s the most bizarre thing I have read on dcum and that’s saying something.

100 percent. Sending your kid to boarding school fosters independence too. So does ignoring them. I don’t see why someone who loves their kids would want to ship them away for so long.

8 weeks is a long time. But 2-4 at summer sleep away camp is an amazing experience for a lot of kids. You can love your kids and send them away for new experiences AT THE SAME TIME.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not OP but have similar income and kids in elementary. I thought things would get better as they got older but it really hasn’t. We have extended day $340/mos for my youngest. The oldest walks home afterschool because of sports, etc. $5k a year on sports. $9k/yr per kid for sleepaway and other camps in summer. I grew up in New England and everyone went away for sleepaway for 8 weeks. My oldest started last summer but I’m another year both will be at sleepaway. Then piano lessons, tae kwon do, art classes. I get this is a very privileged childhood we’re providing. We sacrifice on other stuff like simple vacations and beater cars. I thought it’d get better once kids were in public school but it didn’t.

Why have kids if you are going to pack them away every summer for 8 weeks to sleep away camps? It’s your time to bond as a family. It’s the most bizarre thing I have read on dcum and that’s saying something.

100 percent. Sending your kid to boarding school fosters independence too. So does ignoring them. I don’t see why someone who loves their kids would want to ship them away for so long.

Yes, clearly you don't see the benefits and therefore camp is not right for your family. My family has been doing sleep away camp for generations and I wouldn't even consider robbing my children of such and wonderful experience. I love them too much and want to give them what I had, and I can afford to. We only do a month long camp though, then we take a month of vacation at our summer home, followed by 2 weeks in Europe. We spend great quality time together and with extended family. It's not like shipping them off because we don't like them as some suggest. It's quite the opposite. My oldet completed her 6th year of camp and my youngest just started this summer. Oh and 2 of my nieces also attend the same camp. Another niece prefers a competition riding camp instead and my nephew wanted to do a different all boy camp with his friends from school. To me, it's expensive but worth it. We view private school the same way.

Did you enter the wrong thread? OP is already overextending on their HHI and the last thing she should be adding is private school and weeks of expensive sleepaway camp followed by another 6 weeks of expensive vacations. I guess if you run with rich people they may seem like necessities to you but they're really not....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not OP but have similar income and kids in elementary. I thought things would get better as they got older but it really hasn’t. We have extended day $340/mos for my youngest. The oldest walks home afterschool because of sports, etc. $5k a year on sports. $9k/yr per kid for sleepaway and other camps in summer. I grew up in New England and everyone went away for sleepaway for 8 weeks. My oldest started last summer but I’m another year both will be at sleepaway. Then piano lessons, tae kwon do, art classes. I get this is a very privileged childhood we’re providing. We sacrifice on other stuff like simple vacations and beater cars. I thought it’d get better once kids were in public school but it didn’t.

Why have kids if you are going to pack them away every summer for 8 weeks to sleep away camps? It’s your time to bond as a family. It’s the most bizarre thing I have read on dcum and that’s saying something.

100 percent. Sending your kid to boarding school fosters independence too. So does ignoring them. I don’t see why someone who loves their kids would want to ship them away for so long.

Yes, clearly you don't see the benefits and therefore camp is not right for your family. My family has been doing sleep away camp for generations and I wouldn't even consider robbing my children of such and wonderful experience. I love them too much and want to give them what I had, and I can afford to. We only do a month long camp though, then we take a month of vacation at our summer home, followed by 2 weeks in Europe. We spend great quality time together and with extended family. It's not like shipping them off because we don't like them as some suggest. It's quite the opposite. My oldet completed her 6th year of camp and my youngest just started this summer. Oh and 2 of my nieces also attend the same camp. Another niece prefers a competition riding camp instead and my nephew wanted to do a different all boy camp with his friends from school. To me, it's expensive but worth it. We view private school the same way.

Agree to disagree. I can afford such camps at 760k HHI but would never send my kids to live with strangers and for bulk of summer.

Agreed! Find a 2-4 week camp the kid really likes and send them for that (if they want to go). I grew up poor/lmc and my parents let me attend 4 week summer music camps that were affordable and it was an amazing experience...but I wanted to attend and 2-4 weeks is plenty (and that same camp is still only $3K for the month, so relatively speaking "affordable" given the high quality of instruction the kids are getting daily for 4 weeks and the care of counselors and everything involved).

We had the $$ but our kids had no desire to go away for 2-4 weeks every summer---they wanted to spend the summer with their friends and at activities local with their friends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not OP but have similar income and kids in elementary. I thought things would get better as they got older but it really hasn’t. We have extended day $340/mos for my youngest. The oldest walks home afterschool because of sports, etc. $5k a year on sports. $9k/yr per kid for sleepaway and other camps in summer. I grew up in New England and everyone went away for sleepaway for 8 weeks. My oldest started last summer but I’m another year both will be at sleepaway. Then piano lessons, tae kwon do, art classes. I get this is a very privileged childhood we’re providing. We sacrifice on other stuff like simple vacations and beater cars. I thought it’d get better once kids were in public school but it didn’t.

Why have kids if you are going to pack them away every summer for 8 weeks to sleep away camps? It’s your time to bond as a family. It’s the most bizarre thing I have read on dcum and that’s saying something.

100 percent. Sending your kid to boarding school fosters independence too. So does ignoring them. I don’t see why someone who loves their kids would want to ship them away for so long.

8 weeks is a long time. But 2-4 at summer sleep away camp is an amazing experience for a lot of kids. You can love your kids and send them away for new experiences AT THE SAME TIME.

Yeah, I used to go to camp for 4 weeks every summer and absolutely loved it. I got introduced to so many things I never would have been able to do in the city - whitewater rafting, backcountry camping, rock climbing, mountain biking, horseback riding, caving. Plus I made friends from all over the country, many of whom I am still friends with 25+ years later.

[Anonymous]

You are not rich if you are broke after paying bills. You are just middle class getting by.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not OP but have similar income and kids in elementary. I thought things would get better as they got older but it really hasn’t. We have extended day $340/mos for my youngest. The oldest walks home afterschool because of sports, etc. $5k a year on sports. $9k/yr per kid for sleepaway and other camps in summer. I grew up in New England and everyone went away for sleepaway for 8 weeks. My oldest started last summer but I’m another year both will be at sleepaway. Then piano lessons, tae kwon do, art classes. I get this is a very privileged childhood we’re providing. We sacrifice on other stuff like simple vacations and beater cars. I thought it’d get better once kids were in public school but it didn’t.

Why have kids if you are going to pack them away every summer for 8 weeks to sleep away camps? It’s your time to bond as a family. It’s the most bizarre thing I have read on dcum and that’s saying something.

100 percent. Sending your kid to boarding school fosters independence too. So does ignoring them. I don’t see why someone who loves their kids would want to ship them away for so long.

Yes, clearly you don't see the benefits and therefore camp is not right for your family. My family has been doing sleep away camp for generations and I wouldn't even consider robbing my children of such and wonderful experience. I love them too much and want to give them what I had, and I can afford to. We only do a month long camp though, then we take a month of vacation at our summer home, followed by 2 weeks in Europe. We spend great quality time together and with extended family. It's not like shipping them off because we don't like them as some suggest. It's quite the opposite. My oldet completed her 6th year of camp and my youngest just started this summer. Oh and 2 of my nieces also attend the same camp. Another niece prefers a competition riding camp instead and my nephew wanted to do a different all boy camp with his friends from school. To me, it's expensive but worth it. We view private school the same way.

Agree to disagree. I can afford such camps at 760k HHI but would never send my kids to live with strangers and for bulk of summer.

Right? I know people who send their kids to sleep away camps and they don't do it for the benefit of the kid, they do it so that they can have a month to themselves - usually they take a week vacation to some fabulous adult location and the rest of the time they're eating out at fancy DC restaurants three times a week. People choose sleep away camp for the parents, not for the kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not OP but have similar income and kids in elementary. I thought things would get better as they got older but it really hasn’t. We have extended day $340/mos for my youngest. The oldest walks home afterschool because of sports, etc. $5k a year on sports. $9k/yr per kid for sleepaway and other camps in summer. I grew up in New England and everyone went away for sleepaway for 8 weeks. My oldest started last summer but I’m another year both will be at sleepaway. Then piano lessons, tae kwon do, art classes. I get this is a very privileged childhood we’re providing. We sacrifice on other stuff like simple vacations and beater cars. I thought it’d get better once kids were in public school but it didn’t.

Why have kids if you are going to pack them away every summer for 8 weeks to sleep away camps? It’s your time to bond as a family. It’s the most bizarre thing I have read on dcum and that’s saying something.

100 percent. Sending your kid to boarding school fosters independence too. So does ignoring them. I don’t see why someone who loves their kids would want to ship them away for so long.

Yes, clearly you don't see the benefits and therefore camp is not right for your family. My family has been doing sleep away camp for generations and I wouldn't even consider robbing my children of such and wonderful experience. I love them too much and want to give them what I had, and I can afford to. We only do a month long camp though, then we take a month of vacation at our summer home, followed by 2 weeks in Europe. We spend great quality time together and with extended family. It's not like shipping them off because we don't like them as some suggest. It's quite the opposite. My oldet completed her 6th year of camp and my youngest just started this summer. Oh and 2 of my nieces also attend the same camp. Another niece prefers a competition riding camp instead and my nephew wanted to do a different all boy camp with his friends from school. To me, it's expensive but worth it. We view private school the same way.

Agree to disagree. I can afford such camps at 760k HHI but would never send my kids to live with strangers and for bulk of summer.

I think the first statement sums it up. Clearly you don't see the benefits and therefore it's not the right choice for your family. If you saw the benefits you would choose differently. So we agree to agree.

Oh do you mean like my friend who got raped at sleep away camp?

[Anonymous]

$5k+ mortgage plus $5k childcare leaves very little wiggle room.

We have the same HHI ($350) and 4 kids, but our mortgage is $3k and we no longer need childcare. Nonetheless, money still feels tight with college tuition and travel.

If I were in your shoes, I’d cut wherever I can.

-Rarely eat out/takeout.
-Coffee at home.
-No shopping for the parents. Wear whatever you have.
-Kids need clothes, but they don’t need as many clothes as most people buy.
-Go longer between haircuts, etc.
-Scale back Christmas.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not OP but have similar income and kids in elementary. I thought things would get better as they got older but it really hasn’t. We have extended day $340/mos for my youngest. The oldest walks home afterschool because of sports, etc. $5k a year on sports. $9k/yr per kid for sleepaway and other camps in summer. I grew up in New England and everyone went away for sleepaway for 8 weeks. My oldest started last summer but I’m another year both will be at sleepaway. Then piano lessons, tae kwon do, art classes. I get this is a very privileged childhood we’re providing. We sacrifice on other stuff like simple vacations and beater cars. I thought it’d get better once kids were in public school but it didn’t.

Why have kids if you are going to pack them away every summer for 8 weeks to sleep away camps? It’s your time to bond as a family. It’s the most bizarre thing I have read on dcum and that’s saying something.

100 percent. Sending your kid to boarding school fosters independence too. So does ignoring them. I don’t see why someone who loves their kids would want to ship them away for so long.

Yes, clearly you don't see the benefits and therefore camp is not right for your family. My family has been doing sleep away camp for generations and I wouldn't even consider robbing my children of such and wonderful experience. I love them too much and want to give them what I had, and I can afford to. We only do a month long camp though, then we take a month of vacation at our summer home, followed by 2 weeks in Europe. We spend great quality time together and with extended family. It's not like shipping them off because we don't like them as some suggest. It's quite the opposite. My oldet completed her 6th year of camp and my youngest just started this summer. Oh and 2 of my nieces also attend the same camp. Another niece prefers a competition riding camp instead and my nephew wanted to do a different all boy camp with his friends from school. To me, it's expensive but worth it. We view private school the same way.

Agree to disagree. I can afford such camps at 760k HHI but would never send my kids to live with strangers and for bulk of summer.

I think the first statement sums it up. Clearly you don't see the benefits and therefore it's not the right choice for your family. If you saw the benefits you would choose differently. So we agree to agree.

Oh do you mean like my friend who got raped at sleep away camp?

So you choose an alarming statistical anomaly to base a choice?!?!? You'd better stop driving, eating shell fish and soft cheese, don't vaccinate, as a matter of fact don't go outside (there's crime there)... geez. Do you even realize how many kids go and have a wonderful experience vs the terrible things that could happen. The measures the good camps take to ensure this doesn't happen is more than the schools do to ensure it doesn't happen. Do you send your kid to school? Day camp? If so, they're probably at greater risk there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not OP but have similar income and kids in elementary. I thought things would get better as they got older but it really hasn’t. We have extended day $340/mos for my youngest. The oldest walks home afterschool because of sports, etc. $5k a year on sports. $9k/yr per kid for sleepaway and other camps in summer. I grew up in New England and everyone went away for sleepaway for 8 weeks. My oldest started last summer but I’m another year both will be at sleepaway. Then piano lessons, tae kwon do, art classes. I get this is a very privileged childhood we’re providing. We sacrifice on other stuff like simple vacations and beater cars. I thought it’d get better once kids were in public school but it didn’t.

Why have kids if you are going to pack them away every summer for 8 weeks to sleep away camps? It’s your time to bond as a family. It’s the most bizarre thing I have read on dcum and that’s saying something.

100 percent. Sending your kid to boarding school fosters independence too. So does ignoring them. I don’t see why someone who loves their kids would want to ship them away for so long.

Yes, clearly you don't see the benefits and therefore camp is not right for your family. My family has been doing sleep away camp for generations and I wouldn't even consider robbing my children of such and wonderful experience. I love them too much and want to give them what I had, and I can afford to. We only do a month long camp though, then we take a month of vacation at our summer home, followed by 2 weeks in Europe. We spend great quality time together and with extended family. It's not like shipping them off because we don't like them as some suggest. It's quite the opposite. My oldet completed her 6th year of camp and my youngest just started this summer. Oh and 2 of my nieces also attend the same camp. Another niece prefers a competition riding camp instead and my nephew wanted to do a different all boy camp with his friends from school. To me, it's expensive but worth it. We view private school the same way.

Agree to disagree. I can afford such camps at 760k HHI but would never send my kids to live with strangers and for bulk of summer.

I think the first statement sums it up. Clearly you don't see the benefits and therefore it's not the right choice for your family. If you saw the benefits you would choose differently. So we agree to agree.

Oh do you mean like my friend who got raped at sleep away camp?

Good point. It's a good thing that rapes don't happen anywhere other than sleepaway camps.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t understand what we are doing wrong. What can we change/cut out?

Family of 4: 2 kids under 3
Gross income: 350K (net after taxes is approx $15K/month)
House Mortgage, Home Insurance, and Property Taxes: $5300/month (900K at 2.6% interest, Chevy Chase, MD). House has appreciated 500K since we bought it. Really good public schools so not inclined to move.
Childcare: $5000/month
Car payments and insurance: $1000/month for 2 cars

Between these fixed expenses, mobile phone bills, utilities, kids’ activities, diapers and other necessities for kids, groceries, healthcare expenses, house maintenance, etc. we are living paycheck to paycheck. We don’t buy anything we don’t immediately need. Dining out consists of fast food eaten at home, at most 1/week. Free activities on weekends with kids. What are we doing wrong?

Using your numbers, you are house poor and have too much car debt. Given that you already own the house, I'd sell the cars right away and get something cheap that you can afford with cash. That should help. Then re-evaluate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t understand what we are doing wrong. What can we change/cut out?

Family of 4: 2 kids under 3
Gross income: 350K (net after taxes is approx $15K/month)
House Mortgage, Home Insurance, and Property Taxes: $5300/month (900K at 2.6% interest, Chevy Chase, MD). House has appreciated 500K since we bought it. Really good public schools so not inclined to move.
Childcare: $5000/month
Car payments and insurance: $1000/month for 2 cars

Between these fixed expenses, mobile phone bills, utilities, kids’ activities, diapers and other necessities for kids, groceries, healthcare expenses, house maintenance, etc. we are living paycheck to paycheck. We don’t buy anything we don’t immediately need. Dining out consists of fast food eaten at home, at most 1/week. Free activities on weekends with kids. What are we doing wrong?

Using your numbers, you are house poor and have too much car debt. Given that you already own the house, I'd sell the cars right away and get something cheap that you can afford with cash. That should help. Then re-evaluate.

Do your research before selling the cars though, because used cars arent the bargain they used to be. Plus you need a good savings account for repairs that come up.