Teacher dictating which parts of daughter's lunch she can eat in which order?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As the parent of a child with severe allergies, the posts on this thread horrify me. My child gets a muffin for breakfast most days which doesn’t have sugar in it, but occasionally has chocolate chips depending which recipie I felt like using that weekend. When some teacher decides that’s “dessert” I really hope I don’t have to fight so my kid can eat their own food.

As well, kids with allergies are told basically from birth that anything Mama/Dada give you is OK for you. Having a teacher who undermines that isn’t safe for young kids— yes the food rules at home for these children are more important than the food rules at school, and honestly that’s probably true for plenty of people other than kids with allergies, kosher, halal, vegan…

As the parent of a child with severe allergies, you'll be communicating with schools about food for years. But having allergies doesn't mean that your DC should be eating a cookie before her sandwich/main at lunchtime.

That’s not what happened in the OP either. But oftentimes food made for kids with allergies doesn’t look like the standard sandwich that the other children are going to have. Like a muffin with a few chocolate chips or chia “pudding” aren’t desserts, they’re important ways of getting enough calories into children who have other restrictions. Getting wrapped around the axel about the order the kid eats in is totally unnecessary as long as they’re eating the food their parents are sending.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:Allowing kids to eat the cookies first or pirate booty, animal cracker first for lunch works if they are at home. They will be hungry 30 or 45 minutes later and want more to eat. It’s all good if it’s your child and you’re handling them at home but when you have a group of kids and you have several who are irritable it can be disruptive to the entire class and not good for that one child.

In a preschool or daycare setting this is not always possible and leads to very irritable and cranky kids. Lunch is short and kids are slow eater so it’s preferable to have them eat their nutritionally dense foods first so they can be full and hopefully not have a sugar crash.

What is confusing to me as a long time DCUM reader is how parents freak out over schools offering chocolate milk and “unhealthy options “at school but are OK with their kids eating cookies for lunch.

Except in this case the kid ended up hungry BECAUSE of this stupid rule. If the teacher hadn’t incorrectly deemed the banana oats a Cookie then kid would not have been hungry. Plenty of daycares and preschools operate just fine without this rule which is teaches wrong attitudes toward foods and is not a good rule.

Yep, gotta cater to the snowflakes.

Anything to make sure my snowflake has a healthy attitude towards food and doesn’t end up like the majority of adults in this country.

This. Supporting a teacher on an unnecessary power trip isn’t more important to me than my child having lunch.

You see this as a power trip. That really says it all, doesn't it.

Yes, because it has nothing to do with nutrition as established above— it’s all about dictating the order of food which is a really ridiculous thing to consider more important than whether a four year old gets to eat her lunch on a given day. If it’s a genuine misunderstanding the teacher will not police in the future, and if it’s a power trip the teacher will blame the parent.

It's classroom management.

Which is important. It’s not more important than a 4 y/o getting to eat the lunch her parents packed for her. So the teacher might need to read more up to date guidance on nutrition, or might need to arrange the seating so the easily distracted children don’t sit near someone whose lunch might interest them, or teach her class about how we are only in charge of our own plates— an important lesson in self regulation. Not expect a kid to go hungry because her healthy food might distract someone sitting near by.

The teacher did not say she couldn't eat her lunch. The kid refused to eat it any way other than the way she wanted to. Maybe she's not ready for preschool.

A lot of kids have big feelings at this age, though. If OP wasn't so upset, she probably would see her kid adjust after a few days, and realize this one teacher isn't going to change the child's relationship with food in the long run. It's OP, not the kid, who's not ready to let go of control.

Completely agree.

[Anonymous]

This thread is off the rails. But hilarious how people are so focused on how the cookie is "healthy." Maybe if you want your kid to learn to eat healthy, don't disguise healthy foods as desserts to get them to eat it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For those not familiar with Ellyn Satter‘s DOR here is a link to handouts aimed at early child educators:

https://www.montana.edu/teamnutrition/smartpleasantmealtimes/Pass%20the%20Peaches%20Handouts%20Fall%202016.pdf

Yes for me it’s worth finding a preschool already familiar with these principles.

Sure, we've all heard of Ellyn Satter. But to say that she is "evidence based" or the only way correct way to have a meal.

Im confused, I read Ellyn Satter and she doesn't suggest anywhere that you should get kids to eat health foods by disguising them as dessert. That's pretty much the opposite of Ellyn Satter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As the parent of a child with severe allergies, the posts on this thread horrify me. My child gets a muffin for breakfast most days which doesn’t have sugar in it, but occasionally has chocolate chips depending which recipie I felt like using that weekend. When some teacher decides that’s “dessert” I really hope I don’t have to fight so my kid can eat their own food.

As well, kids with allergies are told basically from birth that anything Mama/Dada give you is OK for you. Having a teacher who undermines that isn’t safe for young kids— yes the food rules at home for these children are more important than the food rules at school, and honestly that’s probably true for plenty of people other than kids with allergies, kosher, halal, vegan…

As the parent of a child with severe allergies, you'll be communicating with schools about food for years. But having allergies doesn't mean that your DC should be eating a cookie before her sandwich/main at lunchtime.

That’s not what happened in the OP either. But oftentimes food made for kids with allergies doesn’t look like the standard sandwich that the other children are going to have. Like a muffin with a few chocolate chips or chia “pudding” aren’t desserts, they’re important ways of getting enough calories into children who have other restrictions. Getting wrapped around the axel about the order the kid eats in is totally unnecessary as long as they’re eating the food their parents are sending.

This whole allergy angle is just a completely different issue not like OP’s situation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As the parent of a child with severe allergies, the posts on this thread horrify me. My child gets a muffin for breakfast most days which doesn’t have sugar in it, but occasionally has chocolate chips depending which recipie I felt like using that weekend. When some teacher decides that’s “dessert” I really hope I don’t have to fight so my kid can eat their own food.

As well, kids with allergies are told basically from birth that anything Mama/Dada give you is OK for you. Having a teacher who undermines that isn’t safe for young kids— yes the food rules at home for these children are more important than the food rules at school, and honestly that’s probably true for plenty of people other than kids with allergies, kosher, halal, vegan…

As the parent of a child with severe allergies, you'll be communicating with schools about food for years. But having allergies doesn't mean that your DC should be eating a cookie before her sandwich/main at lunchtime.

That’s not what happened in the OP either. But oftentimes food made for kids with allergies doesn’t look like the standard sandwich that the other children are going to have. Like a muffin with a few chocolate chips or chia “pudding” aren’t desserts, they’re important ways of getting enough calories into children who have other restrictions. Getting wrapped around the axel about the order the kid eats in is totally unnecessary as long as they’re eating the food their parents are sending.

This whole allergy angle is just a completely different issue not like OP’s situation.

Allergies are super common. If a teacher can’t cope with a classroom where every kid doesn’t eat according to a specific order and no one eats anything distracting, she’s not going to be able to have a single kid with allergies in her entire career. Since this seems unlikely, it’s a silly overarching rule to have.

[Anonymous]

21 pages on some kid eating (or not) an oatmeal cookie. Gotta love DCUM.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This thread is off the rails. But hilarious how people are so focused on how the cookie is "healthy." Maybe if you want your kid to learn to eat healthy, don't disguise healthy foods as desserts to get them to eat it.

I have no idea what was in OPs cookie other than banana and oatmeal. I know in my case I put zucchini and carrot into banana muffins not to “disguise” them, because my kid will eat those foods independently, but to get more nutrition into a packable meal. My kid knows what is in the muffins I don’t say hey here’s a cupcake.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread is off the rails. But hilarious how people are so focused on how the cookie is "healthy." Maybe if you want your kid to learn to eat healthy, don't disguise healthy foods as desserts to get them to eat it.

I have no idea what was in OPs cookie other than banana and oatmeal. I know in my case I put zucchini and carrot into banana muffins not to “disguise” them, because my kid will eat those foods independently, but to get more nutrition into a packable meal. My kid knows what is in the muffins I don’t say hey here’s a cupcake.

PP's comment was not directed to you then.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As the parent of a child with severe allergies, the posts on this thread horrify me. My child gets a muffin for breakfast most days which doesn’t have sugar in it, but occasionally has chocolate chips depending which recipie I felt like using that weekend. When some teacher decides that’s “dessert” I really hope I don’t have to fight so my kid can eat their own food.

As well, kids with allergies are told basically from birth that anything Mama/Dada give you is OK for you. Having a teacher who undermines that isn’t safe for young kids— yes the food rules at home for these children are more important than the food rules at school, and honestly that’s probably true for plenty of people other than kids with allergies, kosher, halal, vegan…

As the parent of a child with severe allergies, you'll be communicating with schools about food for years. But having allergies doesn't mean that your DC should be eating a cookie before her sandwich/main at lunchtime.

That’s not what happened in the OP either. But oftentimes food made for kids with allergies doesn’t look like the standard sandwich that the other children are going to have. Like a muffin with a few chocolate chips or chia “pudding” aren’t desserts, they’re important ways of getting enough calories into children who have other restrictions. Getting wrapped around the axel about the order the kid eats in is totally unnecessary as long as they’re eating the food their parents are sending.

This whole allergy angle is just a completely different issue not like OP’s situation.

Allergies are super common. If a teacher can’t cope with a classroom where every kid doesn’t eat according to a specific order and no one eats anything distracting, she’s not going to be able to have a single kid with allergies in her entire career. Since this seems unlikely, it’s a silly overarching rule to have.

You might as well say that if a teacher can't cope with a classroom where every child can run around screaming as loud as they want, then they all have to stay completely silent.

Life is full of gray areas and judgment calls, even preschool. Stop being hyperbolic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would let it go.

Plus 1. I used to teach. Kids can be slow eaters- especially when distracted by the social aspect of lunch . Think of it this way, she only had time to eat 2 healthy things. Are there AM or PM snacks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would let it go.

Plus 1. I used to teach. Kids can be slow eaters- especially when distracted by the social aspect of lunch . Think of it this way, she only had time to eat 2 healthy things. Are there AM or PM snacks.

Sent too soon

Do not think of it as she did not get her cookies.

[Anonymous]

Lunch is only a part of my chlilds daily intake. I dont expect him to eat 100% of it, but if he does then great. If I look and he ate the sandwich and cookie then dinner gets more veggies and dessert is fruit. Do not police what my child wants to eat and in what order- its that simple. My job as the parent is to prepare and provide, the kids job is to decide what to eat and how much. Stop interfering with that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For those not familiar with Ellyn Satter‘s DOR here is a link to handouts aimed at early child educators:

https://www.montana.edu/teamnutrition/smartpleasantmealtimes/Pass%20the%20Peaches%20Handouts%20Fall%202016.pdf

Yes for me it’s worth finding a preschool already familiar with these principles.

Sure, we've all heard of Ellyn Satter. But to say that she is "evidence based" or the only way correct way to have a meal.

Im confused, I read Ellyn Satter and she doesn't suggest anywhere that you should get kids to eat health foods by disguising them as dessert. That's pretty much the opposite of Ellyn Satter.

Ellen Satter supports serving dessert (if there is one, one portion only) to be served with the meal. It can be eaten at any time.
https://www.ellynsatterinstitute.org/how-to-eat/family-meals-and-snacks/

She definitely would not agree with pressuring kids to eat foods arbitrarily deemed „healthy“ in order to eat other foods (arbitrarily in this case deemed dessert)

[Anonymous]

Meanwhile no one seems to think the teacher should care about a kid going hungry all afternoon or not getting enough time to eat…as long as they don’t distract the other children with their oatmeal…