Tell me about redshirting your late summer/fall birthday son before Kindergarten

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Anyone and everyone can say their child is emotionally delayed or maturing slower.

And? Parents with the option to redshirt don’t need to justify their choices - not to the school and not on this board.

This is about people’s personal experiences having chosen to redshirt, and whether they think it worked out for the best.

Personal choices are not brought into a classroom that affects others.

Of course they are. Every day.

That was the point. Someone said redshirting is personal implying it only affects their child, which is of course not true.

Having a kid in the class who is not ready from a social and emotional standpoint negatively affects other students, too.

All we can do is make the choices that we think will help our children learn best. And other parents have to do the same. A few posters have tried to frame redshirting as “cheating” or “not following the rules”, which is bizarre because in a private school setting it is not only explicitly allowed, it is strongly encouraged in many cases.

If you feel strongly that having redshirted kids in your class negatively affects your child, then choose a school that does not allow or encourage redshirting.

If you feel strongly that your child needs to be redshirted, then get him appropriate help.

Nope. Redshirting him worked out perfectly, with no downside at all, so why do differently? The help he needed was an extra year in the classroom, and he got it.

So, you neglected to get him help? Strange.

Yes, I “neglected” to get him help and redshirted him instead. And now he’s happy, thriving, loving school, and getting grades that indicate that he’s mastering the material very well. It’s hard to see what “help” could have done for him that an extra year of schooling didn’t. Your extreme urge to pathologize the fact that kids mature at different rates is baffling.

Good, if he is so confident and thriving, put him back in the appropriate grade that he should be in.

The arrogance here is appalling. Who appointed you czar of what is best for other peoples' kids?!

DP.
You must not be aware that there are other children in all classrooms. Perhaps you were home schooled.

I don’t see how my child who is 9.5 months older than the youngest child in her class is hurting the other children…

Either way, I worry about my kid and I let the other parents worry about the other kids.
Bye

You don’t see a lot is obvious. You aren’t “worried” about your kid, you are insecure. You aim to create a disparity to boost your kid.

You speak without knowing anything (about anything) about me and my kid. I am not insecure. One of my kids is the youngest in her grade because she is confident, secure, emotionally mature. It has zero to do with my insecurity and all to do with wanting what I believe will make my child happy

Bless your heart, you continue to tell yourself that.

Wow! You are either a 12 year old trolling or a crazy old lady with nothing to do. It’s clear that 90% of the anti redshirting posts are yours (or more). Why are you spending so much time and energy arguing on an anonymous forum?

I am pretty sure that this poster gets so upset because of the violation of natural law that dictates that a classroom must have an age span of no more than 364 days. It’s deep magic from before the dawn of time.

I think it’s sad you dumb down you kids academically and socially and don’t get them the help they need. Your kids are not smarter, bigger, faster or better. Just older. That is not natural and if anything they are less mature as the are with a younger peer group that artificially makes them seem like they are doing better than they are. When you have a 13 vs 15 year old in the same math class with the same grades your 15 year old is not smarter.

😂 You are a ridiculous human being.

But honestly, I don’t care whether you think my kid is smarter, bigger, faster, or better. I care that my kid is getting a great education, loving learning and enjoying school. I am not fixated on him seeming “better”. I care that he’s getting a great education and having a good experience along the way.

So feel free to grieve the tragic sadness of my kid “not getting the help he needs”. May all children “not get the help” to be happy, thriving, and learning the way he is. You might want to save some of your grief for things that are actually wrong in the world.

Have a great day!

They can have that by going to school on time and getting the right support they need. Basically you are the parent that held back for bragging rights and think your kids are going great when they are not in the development mentally appropriate grade or peers.

It’s sad you will not get your kids help after you identify the need.

What support do you think kids will be offered at school? If the kid is doing great why do you keep insisting they need help? I think it is you who needs help.

Kids are held back due to social or other issues or why would you do that? They are doing great compared to their peers if they are 1-2 years older, which means grade wise they are doing great but not age wise. You child is not in an age appropriate situation.

Says who, you? Nobody gives an eff what you think about it. The school helps by suggesting you enroll them later, so that's what people do. Your input is not needed or required. The schools and parents have it handled. Complain to your school if you disagree.

Schools will suggest it because it’s easier for him. You can’t be that naive. Then again…

*easier for them

[Anonymous]

I have two redshirted boys and no one remembers that about them until a birthday party or a sport cut-off date comes up. They're not oversized for their age, they're academically aligned with their peers, and get along fine with their friends. Granted I had no true idea how it would play out when we decided to redshirt them as the decision was made when they were 5, but on the whole we're pleased with the outcome.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have two redshirted boys and no one remembers that about them until a birthday party or a sport cut-off date comes up. They're not oversized for their age, they're academically aligned with their peers, and get along fine with their friends. Granted I had no true idea how it would play out when we decided to redshirt them as the decision was made when they were 5, but on the whole we're pleased with the outcome.

2 redshirted kids. Red flags all over.
They should be academically aligned, duh. They would get along with friends if they were out it on time. Of course you’re please, what else are going to say?

[Anonymous]

Heh. My kid is an August 14th birthday. He was born in an August 1st cutoff state, so had to start K at age 6. Went to school there through 7th grade. Now we're in VA which is 9/30. Should I have made him skip 8th grade and started school in VA as a high school freshman so as not to disrupt that all important ~natural order~? He's a pretty smart kid, does pretty well as an athlete here, grades are a mix of As and Bs. Gosh, here I was thinking I could be proud of him, but you know since he's SO OLD I maybe can't be proud of him? Does he need tutoring...he should be at the top? Seeking clarification! Everything I thought I knew is WRONG!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have two redshirted boys and no one remembers that about them until a birthday party or a sport cut-off date comes up. They're not oversized for their age, they're academically aligned with their peers, and get along fine with their friends. Granted I had no true idea how it would play out when we decided to redshirt them as the decision was made when they were 5, but on the whole we're pleased with the outcome.

Then why did you red shirt not one, but two of your children?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have two redshirted boys and no one remembers that about them until a birthday party or a sport cut-off date comes up. They're not oversized for their age, they're academically aligned with their peers, and get along fine with their friends. Granted I had no true idea how it would play out when we decided to redshirt them as the decision was made when they were 5, but on the whole we're pleased with the outcome.

2 redshirted kids. Red flags all over.
They should be academically aligned, duh. They would get along with friends if they were out it on time. Of course you’re please, what else are going to say?

Dear God!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Heh. My kid is an August 14th birthday. He was born in an August 1st cutoff state, so had to start K at age 6. Went to school there through 7th grade. Now we're in VA which is 9/30. Should I have made him skip 8th grade and started school in VA as a high school freshman so as not to disrupt that all important ~natural order~? He's a pretty smart kid, does pretty well as an athlete here, grades are a mix of As and Bs. Gosh, here I was thinking I could be proud of him, but you know since he's SO OLD I maybe can't be proud of him? Does he need tutoring...he should be at the top? Seeking clarification! Everything I thought I knew is WRONG!!

So he started when he was allowed to and within the year that is suggested. Your situation is not redshirting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Heh. My kid is an August 14th birthday. He was born in an August 1st cutoff state, so had to start K at age 6. Went to school there through 7th grade. Now we're in VA which is 9/30. Should I have made him skip 8th grade and started school in VA as a high school freshman so as not to disrupt that all important ~natural order~? He's a pretty smart kid, does pretty well as an athlete here, grades are a mix of As and Bs. Gosh, here I was thinking I could be proud of him, but you know since he's SO OLD I maybe can't be proud of him? Does he need tutoring...he should be at the top? Seeking clarification! Everything I thought I knew is WRONG!!

I think you may be on the wrong forum.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Heh. My kid is an August 14th birthday. He was born in an August 1st cutoff state, so had to start K at age 6. Went to school there through 7th grade. Now we're in VA which is 9/30. Should I have made him skip 8th grade and started school in VA as a high school freshman so as not to disrupt that all important ~natural order~? He's a pretty smart kid, does pretty well as an athlete here, grades are a mix of As and Bs. Gosh, here I was thinking I could be proud of him, but you know since he's SO OLD I maybe can't be proud of him? Does he need tutoring...he should be at the top? Seeking clarification! Everything I thought I knew is WRONG!!

So he started when he was allowed to and within the year that is suggested. Your situation is not redshirting.

but what difference does it make? You say an August 31st born kid needs help, should be at the top of the pack, is going to have problems, can't be proud of him because he's older than all his classmates, etc. but then an even older kid is just ...fine?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Heh. My kid is an August 14th birthday. He was born in an August 1st cutoff state, so had to start K at age 6. Went to school there through 7th grade. Now we're in VA which is 9/30. Should I have made him skip 8th grade and started school in VA as a high school freshman so as not to disrupt that all important ~natural order~? He's a pretty smart kid, does pretty well as an athlete here, grades are a mix of As and Bs. Gosh, here I was thinking I could be proud of him, but you know since he's SO OLD I maybe can't be proud of him? Does he need tutoring...he should be at the top? Seeking clarification! Everything I thought I knew is WRONG!!

I think you may be on the wrong forum.

why?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Heh. My kid is an August 14th birthday. He was born in an August 1st cutoff state, so had to start K at age 6. Went to school there through 7th grade. Now we're in VA which is 9/30. Should I have made him skip 8th grade and started school in VA as a high school freshman so as not to disrupt that all important ~natural order~? He's a pretty smart kid, does pretty well as an athlete here, grades are a mix of As and Bs. Gosh, here I was thinking I could be proud of him, but you know since he's SO OLD I maybe can't be proud of him? Does he need tutoring...he should be at the top? Seeking clarification! Everything I thought I knew is WRONG!!

So he started when he was allowed to and within the year that is suggested. Your situation is not redshirting.

Completely different situation however you could have started him in a private and transferred to public.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Heh. My kid is an August 14th birthday. He was born in an August 1st cutoff state, so had to start K at age 6. Went to school there through 7th grade. Now we're in VA which is 9/30. Should I have made him skip 8th grade and started school in VA as a high school freshman so as not to disrupt that all important ~natural order~? He's a pretty smart kid, does pretty well as an athlete here, grades are a mix of As and Bs. Gosh, here I was thinking I could be proud of him, but you know since he's SO OLD I maybe can't be proud of him? Does he need tutoring...he should be at the top? Seeking clarification! Everything I thought I knew is WRONG!!

So he started when he was allowed to and within the year that is suggested. Your situation is not redshirting.

Completely different situation however you could have started him in a private and transferred to public.

Huh? How would that have worked?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have two redshirted boys and no one remembers that about them until a birthday party or a sport cut-off date comes up. They're not oversized for their age, they're academically aligned with their peers, and get along fine with their friends. Granted I had no true idea how it would play out when we decided to redshirt them as the decision was made when they were 5, but on the whole we're pleased with the outcome.

2 redshirted kids. Red flags all over.
They should be academically aligned, duh. They would get along with friends if they were out it on time. Of course you’re please, what else are going to say?

Actually they aren't academically aligned with their peers as they are not the same age as their peers. Peers are the same age. Yours are older so they aren't aligned. Your kids are behind their peers academically as their true peers are a grade level above them.

Kids know, everyone knows. Know one talking about it doesn't mean people don't know or care, they just say nothing as its not the kids fault you didn't send them on time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have two redshirted boys and no one remembers that about them until a birthday party or a sport cut-off date comes up. They're not oversized for their age, they're academically aligned with their peers, and get along fine with their friends. Granted I had no true idea how it would play out when we decided to redshirt them as the decision was made when they were 5, but on the whole we're pleased with the outcome.

2 redshirted kids. Red flags all over.
They should be academically aligned, duh. They would get along with friends if they were out it on time. Of course you’re please, what else are going to say?

Actually they aren't academically aligned with their peers as they are not the same age as their peers. Peers are the same age. Yours are older so they aren't aligned. Your kids are behind their peers academically as their true peers are a grade level above them.

Kids know, everyone knows. Know one talking about it doesn't mean people don't know or care, they just say nothing as its not the kids fault you didn't send them on time.

The parents are stunting them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Anyone and everyone can say their child is emotionally delayed or maturing slower.

And? Parents with the option to redshirt don’t need to justify their choices - not to the school and not on this board.

This is about people’s personal experiences having chosen to redshirt, and whether they think it worked out for the best.

Personal choices are not brought into a classroom that affects others.

Of course they are. Every day.

That was the point. Someone said redshirting is personal implying it only affects their child, which is of course not true.

Having a kid in the class who is not ready from a social and emotional standpoint negatively affects other students, too.

All we can do is make the choices that we think will help our children learn best. And other parents have to do the same. A few posters have tried to frame redshirting as “cheating” or “not following the rules”, which is bizarre because in a private school setting it is not only explicitly allowed, it is strongly encouraged in many cases.

If you feel strongly that having redshirted kids in your class negatively affects your child, then choose a school that does not allow or encourage redshirting.

If you feel strongly that your child needs to be redshirted, then get him appropriate help.

Nope. Redshirting him worked out perfectly, with no downside at all, so why do differently? The help he needed was an extra year in the classroom, and he got it.

So, you neglected to get him help? Strange.

Yes, I “neglected” to get him help and redshirted him instead. And now he’s happy, thriving, loving school, and getting grades that indicate that he’s mastering the material very well. It’s hard to see what “help” could have done for him that an extra year of schooling didn’t. Your extreme urge to pathologize the fact that kids mature at different rates is baffling.

Good, if he is so confident and thriving, put him back in the appropriate grade that he should be in.

The arrogance here is appalling. Who appointed you czar of what is best for other peoples' kids?!

DP.
You must not be aware that there are other children in all classrooms. Perhaps you were home schooled.

I don’t see how my child who is 9.5 months older than the youngest child in her class is hurting the other children…

Either way, I worry about my kid and I let the other parents worry about the other kids.
Bye

You don’t see a lot is obvious. You aren’t “worried” about your kid, you are insecure. You aim to create a disparity to boost your kid.

You speak without knowing anything (about anything) about me and my kid. I am not insecure. One of my kids is the youngest in her grade because she is confident, secure, emotionally mature. It has zero to do with my insecurity and all to do with wanting what I believe will make my child happy

Bless your heart, you continue to tell yourself that.

Wow! You are either a 12 year old trolling or a crazy old lady with nothing to do. It’s clear that 90% of the anti redshirting posts are yours (or more). Why are you spending so much time and energy arguing on an anonymous forum?

I am pretty sure that this poster gets so upset because of the violation of natural law that dictates that a classroom must have an age span of no more than 364 days. It’s deep magic from before the dawn of time.

I think it’s sad you dumb down you kids academically and socially and don’t get them the help they need. Your kids are not smarter, bigger, faster or better. Just older. That is not natural and if anything they are less mature as the are with a younger peer group that artificially makes them seem like they are doing better than they are. When you have a 13 vs 15 year old in the same math class with the same grades your 15 year old is not smarter.

😂 You are a ridiculous human being.

But honestly, I don’t care whether you think my kid is smarter, bigger, faster, or better. I care that my kid is getting a great education, loving learning and enjoying school. I am not fixated on him seeming “better”. I care that he’s getting a great education and having a good experience along the way.

So feel free to grieve the tragic sadness of my kid “not getting the help he needs”. May all children “not get the help” to be happy, thriving, and learning the way he is. You might want to save some of your grief for things that are actually wrong in the world.

Have a great day!

They can have that by going to school on time and getting the right support they need. Basically you are the parent that held back for bragging rights and think your kids are going great when they are not in the development mentally appropriate grade or peers.

It’s sad you will not get your kids help after you identify the need.

What support do you think kids will be offered at school? If the kid is doing great why do you keep insisting they need help? I think it is you who needs help.

Kids are held back due to social or other issues or why would you do that? They are doing great compared to their peers if they are 1-2 years older, which means grade wise they are doing great but not age wise. You child is not in an age appropriate situation.

Says who, you? Nobody gives an eff what you think about it. The school helps by suggesting you enroll them later, so that's what people do. Your input is not needed or required. The schools and parents have it handled. Complain to your school if you disagree.

Schools will suggest it because it’s easier for him. You can’t be that naive. Then again…

This isi the real reason. Its not about the child, its about the school needs. We looked at multiple privates and some demanded we hold back because of age despite top grades and test scores. When we offered up the academic records, they declined saying they wouldn't consider a child on the younger age range and sadly most offered no acceleration too. Some of these schools are a money grab vs. best interest of the child. Why on earth would I hold back a high achieving child?