Lost, considering returning to Catholicism despite disagreeing with so much.

[Anonymous]

I feel mostly the same. We left our Catholic church and spent some time at Episcopalian and Lutheran churches. They're fine, but I don't really feel a connection, so we've basically become Christmas-Easter attendees.

I still go to Catholic Mass on my own sometimes. There's a small, old church near my office that has noon Masses, and I find those really lovely.

Most of my previous experiences with Catholicism were really good. When I was a child, my family fell on some hard times, and the church really supported us. In college, church was sort of hippieish and "God loves everyone." In my 20s, I went to a church full of other 20somethings.

I think I could rationalize it EXCEPT for the sex abuse.

This is hard ... I don't fault you for your mixed feelings.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:People who feel they disagree with Church teachings sometimes do not fully understand those teachings or the basis for them. They may see only the “headlines” but might never have been exposed to the “body” of the story. Catholic teaching is the product of millennia of divine revelation, lived experience and philosophical and theological reflection by some of the greatest minds in human history. It has been and is often mis-taught, misrepresented and distorted, both in the Church and especially in the media.

OP, I would urge you to make your return with an open mind and heart. Make an appointment with the priest and raise your concerns, one at a time. Do the reading the priest suggests. If he can’t help you, ask for a referral to someone more knowledgeable and/or do the research on your own. If you’d like, you could begin with the Catechism of the Catholic Church (a book) and branch out from there. The Catechism is dense but sets forth a great deal of background for the Church teachings, typically with reference to source documents including Scripture.

Above all, pray for light and understanding. Avoid being distracted by things that do not directly concern you in your specific circumstances. It sometimes is interesting and stimulating to discuss and debate “issues,” but the goal of Faith is a living relationship with God in your life, in your circumstances, so that divine love can fill you and flow out of you to others. Faith is far more a matter of the heart than of intellect, but a well trained intellect can help guide the heart.

I wish you the best.

Sounds like you've really twisted yourself up into a pretzel trying to justify your continued involvement in the Catholic Church.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:People who feel they disagree with Church teachings sometimes do not fully understand those teachings or the basis for them. They may see only the “headlines” but might never have been exposed to the “body” of the story. Catholic teaching is the product of millennia of divine revelation, lived experience and philosophical and theological reflection by some of the greatest minds in human history. It has been and is often mis-taught, misrepresented and distorted, both in the Church and especially in the media.

OP, I would urge you to make your return with an open mind and heart. Make an appointment with the priest and raise your concerns, one at a time. Do the reading the priest suggests. If he can’t help you, ask for a referral to someone more knowledgeable and/or do the research on your own. If you’d like, you could begin with the Catechism of the Catholic Church (a book) and branch out from there. The Catechism is dense but sets forth a great deal of background for the Church teachings, typically with reference to source documents including Scripture.

Above all, pray for light and understanding. Avoid being distracted by things that do not directly concern you in your specific circumstances. It sometimes is interesting and stimulating to discuss and debate “issues,” but the goal of Faith is a living relationship with God in your life, in your circumstances, so that divine love can fill you and flow out of you to others. Faith is far more a matter of the heart than of intellect, but a well trained intellect can help guide the heart.

I wish you the best.

This is such a nice post. I'm going to pray for light and understanding today.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People who feel they disagree with Church teachings sometimes do not fully understand those teachings or the basis for them. They may see only the “headlines” but might never have been exposed to the “body” of the story. Catholic teaching is the product of millennia of divine revelation, lived experience and philosophical and theological reflection by some of the greatest minds in human history. It has been and is often mis-taught, misrepresented and distorted, both in the Church and especially in the media.

OP, I would urge you to make your return with an open mind and heart. Make an appointment with the priest and raise your concerns, one at a time. Do the reading the priest suggests. If he can’t help you, ask for a referral to someone more knowledgeable and/or do the research on your own. If you’d like, you could begin with the Catechism of the Catholic Church (a book) and branch out from there. The Catechism is dense but sets forth a great deal of background for the Church teachings, typically with reference to source documents including Scripture.

Above all, pray for light and understanding. Avoid being distracted by things that do not directly concern you in your specific circumstances. It sometimes is interesting and stimulating to discuss and debate “issues,” but the goal of Faith is a living relationship with God in your life, in your circumstances, so that divine love can fill you and flow out of you to others. Faith is far more a matter of the heart than of intellect, but a well trained intellect can help guide the heart.

I wish you the best.

Meh. I went to Catholic schools from ES through college. I've taken lots of classes on theology, doctrine, and Church history. And I'm Episcopalian now. And the pews are full of former Catholics who like the ritual, but also appreciate the focus on social justice.

There is no such thing as a former Catholic. There are lapsed Catholics and apostate Catholics, but Catholic baptism incorporates a person eternally into the Catholic Church.

No organization on earth has done or does as much for “social justice” (or more properly charity, in the sense of self giving love) than the Catholic Church.

Episcopal ritual is a show. Nothing more. It focuses on externals to delight the senses. It cannot confer grace because nothing sacramental occurs.

[Anonymous]

OP: I can very much relate to your story. I raised my kids Catholic. We even sent them to Catholic schools. I went to ALL Catholic schools. I was married in the Catholic Church by a family friend. You get the idea.

I TRIED to go back. I missed the traditions, the prayers, etc. I just could not look any priest in the eye without feeling such deep betrayal. I found the sacraments to be hollow rituals that once had meaning now mean nothing to me. It is a tragic loss and betrayal. The funny thing is I am basing this on my 100% Catholic educated background.

I wish you the best of luck in your journey. It might be a good idea to pray about it. I pray the rosary every morning before I get out of bed. It is at these times that I get clarity.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm going to admit something that I'm still grappling with. I went to Catholic school through 12th grade. HS was very progressive for its time, so no issues whatsoever. Even as a much younger kid, I'd disagree (in my mind) with so much of it.

My son attended excellent public k-12. He's class of 2021, and is attending a Jesuit University. He's enjoying new friends, loves his classes and professors. During the college app process, I convinced myself that this wasn't the school for him. Hadn't given it much thought because he applied to 11 schools, accepted to some that he loved, deferred/waitlisted at others.

He chose this college as soon as he was accepted, and withdrew all acceptances, waitlists, and deferrals. While I'm so proud of him, I definitely feel a twinge of shame and I don't know why! It's not directed solely at Catholicism, but organized religion in general.

There's a lot to love about the school that accepts all identities and religions, provides places of prayer for other denominations, leans very liberal, and is doing a bang up job at giving students an outlet to express their generation's angst on issues, including the history of religious injustices. I'll attend mass at the University chapel when invited for parent events because I haven't attended in a long time. I still love the feeling in church, it's calm in the chaos. I do have faith in something greater and divine, call it what you will. Like others have said, it's between me and my God, the rest is just fluff. I vote, therefore I am. (a dem)

This is one of the things I don't understand. How can the Jesuits create such awesome experiences on college campuses, then it all falls apart afterward?

OP, one of the things that has helped me is following Jesuits online. We don't have a Jesuit parish near me, but if we did, that's where I'd go.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People who feel they disagree with Church teachings sometimes do not fully understand those teachings or the basis for them. They may see only the “headlines” but might never have been exposed to the “body” of the story. Catholic teaching is the product of millennia of divine revelation, lived experience and philosophical and theological reflection by some of the greatest minds in human history. It has been and is often mis-taught, misrepresented and distorted, both in the Church and especially in the media.

OP, I would urge you to make your return with an open mind and heart. Make an appointment with the priest and raise your concerns, one at a time. Do the reading the priest suggests. If he can’t help you, ask for a referral to someone more knowledgeable and/or do the research on your own. If you’d like, you could begin with the Catechism of the Catholic Church (a book) and branch out from there. The Catechism is dense but sets forth a great deal of background for the Church teachings, typically with reference to source documents including Scripture.

Above all, pray for light and understanding. Avoid being distracted by things that do not directly concern you in your specific circumstances. It sometimes is interesting and stimulating to discuss and debate “issues,” but the goal of Faith is a living relationship with God in your life, in your circumstances, so that divine love can fill you and flow out of you to others. Faith is far more a matter of the heart than of intellect, but a well trained intellect can help guide the heart.

I wish you the best.

Sounds like you've really twisted yourself up into a pretzel trying to justify your continued involvement in the Catholic Church.

I’m sorry your interior life is so twisted that you cannot see beyond human appetites into the eternal to recognize the Church that, with all its flaws, remains the one founded by God himself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am Catholic. My husband was raised Lutheran, and we looked at several churches before coming back to Catholicism.

I also enjoy the quiet and contemplative mass. Despite the reputation to the contrary, I don’t feel that I am told what to believe about social and political
topics during Catholic mass. I also feel that there is definitely room to disagree and debate the tenents of Catholicism. My husband went through RCIA, and he was very skeptical and had a lot of questions. I think that at times he was frustrated that he got less answers than he wanted, but I don’t think that I have ever heard anyone discouraged from questioning.

I hope that you consider returning, op. I think you will find that you see some things differently with adult eyes.

It may not be the "tenants of Catholicism" that bother OP so much, but rather the child sex abuse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP seriously you believe in everything Catholics do not.

Pro Choice
Gay marriage
Divorce

Why would you want to be part of something that condones chiid abusers and is against the things you believe in?

How about Unitarian? Or Episcopalian?.

Millions or catholics are pro choice, pro gay marriage, fine with divorce, think women should be priests and church leaders, etc.

[Anonymous]

What DO you believe in, OP? Why not try unitarianism? What are you looking for religion to do for you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP seriously you believe in everything Catholics do not.

Pro Choice
Gay marriage
Divorce

Why would you want to be part of something that condones chiid abusers and is against the things you believe in?

How about Unitarian? Or Episcopalian?.

Millions or catholics are pro choice, pro gay marriage, fine with divorce, think women should be priests and church leaders, etc.

That's like wanting to play soccer with your hands. That's not the game, go play basketball.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP seriously you believe in everything Catholics do not.

Pro Choice
Gay marriage
Divorce

Why would you want to be part of something that condones chiid abusers and is against the things you believe in?

How about Unitarian? Or Episcopalian?.

Millions or catholics are pro choice, pro gay marriage, fine with divorce, think women should be priests and church leaders, etc.

That's like wanting to play soccer with your hands. That's not the game, go play basketball.

Yup. Women arent priests

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP seriously you believe in everything Catholics do not.

Pro Choice
Gay marriage
Divorce

Why would you want to be part of something that condones chiid abusers and is against the things you believe in?

How about Unitarian? Or Episcopalian?.

Millions or catholics are pro choice, pro gay marriage, fine with divorce, think women should be priests and church leaders, etc.

Yes but those like you lack the support from church leaders and their doctrine specifically calls you grave sinners. The Church will never change wrt those issues you listed, especially as the conservative third world gains more influence in Rome and grows in numbers. Your feckless church is even acting incredibly irresponsible in criticizing the world’s most influential and devout Catholic for his progressiveness and support for abortion and equality for the trans-community.
Why put up with that dishonesty and assault on decency? You can find a home in the Episcopal church where issues important to you are permitted and even celebrated.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am Catholic. My husband was raised Lutheran, and we looked at several churches before coming back to Catholicism.

I also enjoy the quiet and contemplative mass. Despite the reputation to the contrary, I don’t feel that I am told what to believe about social and political
topics during Catholic mass. I also feel that there is definitely room to disagree and debate the tenents of Catholicism. My husband went through RCIA, and he was very skeptical and had a lot of questions. I think that at times he was frustrated that he got less answers than he wanted, but I don’t think that I have ever heard anyone discouraged from questioning.

I hope that you consider returning, op. I think you will find that you see some things differently with adult eyes.

It may not be the "tenants of Catholicism" that bother OP so much, but rather the child sex abuse.

The same tired refrain, over and over, with no acknowledgement of the age of many of the accusations; the frequent absence of any corroboration beyond the word of the accuser, often against a dead person; the identical issues in other institutions including other churches and governmental entities; the steps the Church has taken to correct things; or the fact that sex abuse claims against the Church long ago became an industry because of the Church’s deep pockets, institutional size and presence, and reticence to defend even obviously false claims. Not to mention the political value of the scarlet letter to distract from the truth of the Church’s teaching on certain issues, particularly the right to life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People who feel they disagree with Church teachings sometimes do not fully understand those teachings or the basis for them. They may see only the “headlines” but might never have been exposed to the “body” of the story. Catholic teaching is the product of millennia of divine revelation, lived experience and philosophical and theological reflection by some of the greatest minds in human history. It has been and is often mis-taught, misrepresented and distorted, both in the Church and especially in the media.

OP, I would urge you to make your return with an open mind and heart. Make an appointment with the priest and raise your concerns, one at a time. Do the reading the priest suggests. If he can’t help you, ask for a referral to someone more knowledgeable and/or do the research on your own. If you’d like, you could begin with the Catechism of the Catholic Church (a book) and branch out from there. The Catechism is dense but sets forth a great deal of background for the Church teachings, typically with reference to source documents including Scripture.

Above all, pray for light and understanding. Avoid being distracted by things that do not directly concern you in your specific circumstances. It sometimes is interesting and stimulating to discuss and debate “issues,” but the goal of Faith is a living relationship with God in your life, in your circumstances, so that divine love can fill you and flow out of you to others. Faith is far more a matter of the heart than of intellect, but a well trained intellect can help guide the heart.

I wish you the best.

Sounds like you've really twisted yourself up into a pretzel trying to justify your continued involvement in the Catholic Church.

I’m sorry your interior life is so twisted that you cannot see beyond human appetites into the eternal to recognize the Church that, with all its flaws, remains the one founded by God himself.

LOL. Because it says so.