My kids will think Grandma died before they were born

[Anonymous]

Look, OP. Your MIL is a bit nuts. For whatever reason, she allows her dislike of travel to keep her away from her grandchildren. Her loss.

My MIL also refuses to "travel" on her own to visit us -- the difference is that she only live 50 miles away. She won't drive because she is too afraid of the highway and she wont take a train because that is apparently too scary, too. She will only visit if we or someone else chauffeurs her here. She doesn't work, so time off isn't an issue either. She isn't that old and she hasn't visited us on her own since I have known her (when she was in her early 50's). I feel kind of sorry for her, because I know that she would like to visit more, but this anxiety won't let her do it. That being said, it's not like she has ever tried to overcome this. Like I said before... her loss.

She won't change. The only thing you can do is change your own reactions and feelings toward her. I would try to let it go.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:To a PP who suggested she's perhaps mentally ill - I think that's a pretty solid guess. I think she's been at least somewhat depressed for years, definitely has alcohol problems, is a hypochondriac of the diagnosable variety, and is just generally a bit wacked out.

If you really believe this, then I think you just have to let this go. My mother was mentally ill and would not seek help (not that the options were all that promising). In the end we just had to accept it and make the best of the situation.