Coworkers with kids at home while WFH

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Having babies crying in the background in a meeting is a big no no.

That baby could still have a nanny or other parent caring for it, and still cry. If you found the magic off button for babies, you’ll be a zillionaire with that book.

+1. I have a nanny that comes 8-5 and a small house. Sometimes little kids cry.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We all know its about saving money. I wouldn’t care as long as the person was getting their work done.

There is also a distinction to be made between babies/toddlers and school age kids. If someone with a FT job and a two year old is cheating out on childcare because they are home, I don’t have a ton of sympathy because we’re it not for the pandemic, they would definitely be paying for childcare.

But people with elementary age kids could not possibly have anticipated having to pay for more than a year if full time childcare right now. Some people have the money to do it but you can’t assume they do. And I know people will say “oh you were always going to have to pay for care in the summer.” Yes, but not after also paying for it for the entire school year. It is not reasonable to assume that people with kindergartners or 1st graders just have enough extra money for a years worth of childcare, or family nearby.

Also, if you know any working parents with young kids, you would know most have zero desire to try and provide childcare while working. I’ve done it off and on throughout the last year due to holes in childcare (there was no real infrastructure of FT care for school age kids so unless you have the money/space for a nanny, odds are good you’ve had to cobble together coverage all year). It sucks! I wind up working at night and in the weekend to make up for lost hours during the day. And I’m exhausted all the time and feel distracted at work and like a bad mom to boot. No one chooses this.

Maybe if it bothers you, you should have advocated for reopening schools over bars and restaurants this year.

[Anonymous]

Not OP but also dealing with this. One of my direct reports is not getting ANY of their work done - taking weeks to respond to e-mails, following up with "oh I'll do this today" and never doing the requested action. I'm in middle management and my bosses expect results, and it is really frustrating. I'm not 100% sure they don't have childcare, but many times in the middle of the work day they've said they can't come to whatever meeting because they're taking care of their 1 year old. Child was born early in the pandemic, and I don't think they ever got childcare. I don't want to totally throw them under the bus, as a leader it is my responsibility to have my teams get results but man am I getting fed up. I get that childcare was hard in 2020, but wtf is taking them so long.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We all know its about saving money. I wouldn’t care as long as the person was getting their work done.

There is also a distinction to be made between babies/toddlers and school age kids. If someone with a FT job and a two year old is cheating out on childcare because they are home, I don’t have a ton of sympathy because we’re it not for the pandemic, they would definitely be paying for childcare.

But people with elementary age kids could not possibly have anticipated having to pay for more than a year if full time childcare right now. Some people have the money to do it but you can’t assume they do. And I know people will say “oh you were always going to have to pay for care in the summer.” Yes, but not after also paying for it for the entire school year. It is not reasonable to assume that people with kindergartners or 1st graders just have enough extra money for a years worth of childcare, or family nearby.

Also, if you know any working parents with young kids, you would know most have zero desire to try and provide childcare while working. I’ve done it off and on throughout the last year due to holes in childcare (there was no real infrastructure of FT care for school age kids so unless you have the money/space for a nanny, odds are good you’ve had to cobble together coverage all year). It sucks! I wind up working at night and in the weekend to make up for lost hours during the day. And I’m exhausted all the time and feel distracted at work and like a bad mom to boot. No one chooses this.

Maybe if it bothers you, you should have advocated for reopening schools over bars and restaurants this year.

Agree 100% with this. This past 1.5 years has been a nightmare for parents and most of us are just trying our best.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not OP but also dealing with this. One of my direct reports is not getting ANY of their work done - taking weeks to respond to e-mails, following up with "oh I'll do this today" and never doing the requested action. I'm in middle management and my bosses expect results, and it is really frustrating. I'm not 100% sure they don't have childcare, but many times in the middle of the work day they've said they can't come to whatever meeting because they're taking care of their 1 year old. Child was born early in the pandemic, and I don't think they ever got childcare. I don't want to totally throw them under the bus, as a leader it is my responsibility to have my teams get results but man am I getting fed up. I get that childcare was hard in 2020, but wtf is taking them so long.

Put her failures in writing, give her a rigid improvement plan and timeline for reevaluation (say 3 to 6 months). Require her to send you her detailed daily itinerary and perform a daily out-brief of what she planned to do and what she actually accomplished, everyday. Document, document, document. Do not discuss her childcare situation at all. If she shows no or only mediocre improvement over the previously agreed timeframe, fire her. It’s a pain the ass for you but problem employees usually are. Sympathies.

[Anonymous]

Snitches get stitches. And iced out. MYOB

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As with so many other workplace misbehavior topics, the key is to focus on how it affects YOUR work. Person not available during work hours or not able to have reasonable calls/discussions b/c kids are constantly interrupting--problem. Person not getting work done that affects you--problem.

I do agree that child care has been difficult, and many organizations have been very accommodating. But some employees have decided that these accommodations are the new normal.

Some key phrases I use:
Work life balance is for everyone.
Discrimination by family status is illegal.

It isn’t discrimination if their work isn’t getting done.

First comment above was mine.
I agree--not discrimination if work not getting done. To be more clear, it is also illegal to repeatedly ask people with a given family status (in this case, those without kids at home) to do extra work / have fewer WFH options/whatever.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would not snitch.

Also, a huge number of daycares and aftercares have closed, so I think some patience is still in order. People do need to figure out dedicated care for small kids, but having an 8 year old at home reading between 3 and 5 pm is not a big deal. (My kids are in camp/school for my whole work day, but only because I can work 7 to 3.)

+1 I'd add that even if someone has childcare (and I do), there are still challenges lining the care up to the work day. My work day begins at 8. Camp begins at 8:45 and there is no before care in the pandemic. That means I have to take any morning calls from my car.

Camp closes at 3 (again, no after care in the pandemic).

This is all to say that even parents trying hard to cover work hours are going to be stymied by the realities of what kind and length of care if available during covid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would not snitch.

Also, a huge number of daycares and aftercares have closed, so I think some patience is still in order. People do need to figure out dedicated care for small kids, but having an 8 year old at home reading between 3 and 5 pm is not a big deal. (My kids are in camp/school for my whole work day, but only because I can work 7 to 3.)

+1 I'd add that even if someone has childcare (and I do), there are still challenges lining the care up to the work day. My work day begins at 8. Camp begins at 8:45 and there is no before care in the pandemic. That means I have to take any morning calls from my car.

Camp closes at 3 (again, no after care in the pandemic).

This is all to say that even parents trying hard to cover work hours are going to be stymied by the realities of what kind and length of care if available during covid.

Same. My kids' camp ends at 4. But they are also older elementary, so not exactly requiring hands on care once they're back home and I'm wrapping up my workday.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would not snitch.

Also, a huge number of daycares and aftercares have closed, so I think some patience is still in order. People do need to figure out dedicated care for small kids, but having an 8 year old at home reading between 3 and 5 pm is not a big deal. (My kids are in camp/school for my whole work day, but only because I can work 7 to 3.)

+1 I'd add that even if someone has childcare (and I do), there are still challenges lining the care up to the work day. My work day begins at 8. Camp begins at 8:45 and there is no before care in the pandemic. That means I have to take any morning calls from my car.

Camp closes at 3 (again, no after care in the pandemic).

This is all to say that even parents trying hard to cover work hours are going to be stymied by the realities of what kind and length of care if available during covid.

The point is, some people try hard and get sh!t done, others just don't do any work due to alllll the challenges (which might or might not be harder than other families' situations)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wait, is the vaccine available for small kids now, I must have missed that.

You all were screaming all last year that children aren’t affected by Covid, so what does it matter? You sent them to school anyway.

You are confusing people, clearly. But I know a lot of buttoned up families who had kids virtual all year, and younger kids home because daycares are unvaccinated hotzones.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP - I get you. I’ve been tempted to say something as well. One coworker has a five and a six-year-old and his entire summer childcare plan was teleworking.
Another lady and a different office watches her five-month-old granddaughter.
Day cares are open. There’s no reason for them to not have some form of child care at this point in time.

There is no way in hell my young kids would be in daycare right now.

Then you should get a nanny. For about 3-4 months many of us at my employer with young kids tried to make this work—taking care of kids while teleworking. It’s been over a year and a half. All of us now have childcare—whether if daycare, nanny, or family. OP I wouldn’t say anything (Because who knows the situation truly) but it would definitely frustrate me.

Short of accompanying nanny to the vaccine center for both shots, there is NO WAY TO VERIFY their vaccine status. And no way to monitor their interactions and risk profile of a breakthrough infection (do they live with a large extended family, perhaps essential public facing workers? unvaccinated children attending school or daycare? unvaccinated adults?). Short of a live-in virtually lockeddown nanny, a nanny is hardly low risk.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This hasn’t happened in my workplace (the person who doesn’t have childcare is still on top of it), but there was another mom on an outdoor sports team I was on that was bragging about ditching her daycare bill for two kids because her employer was giving her X numbers of hours per week to deal with her kids. This wasn’t at the start of the pandemic, this was in 2021. Oh, and she’s a public employee where I live.

It irritated me to no end. I am usually a pretty understanding person, but this was beyond the pale.

That certainly isn't happening at the Federal level, so what does "public employee" mean?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP - I get you. I’ve been tempted to say something as well. One coworker has a five and a six-year-old and his entire summer childcare plan was teleworking.
Another lady and a different office watches her five-month-old granddaughter.
Day cares are open. There’s no reason for them to not have some form of child care at this point in time.

There is no way in hell my young kids would be in daycare right now.

Then you should get a nanny. For about 3-4 months many of us at my employer with young kids tried to make this work—taking care of kids while teleworking. It’s been over a year and a half. All of us now have childcare—whether if daycare, nanny, or family. OP I wouldn’t say anything (Because who knows the situation truly) but it would definitely frustrate me.

Short of accompanying nanny to the vaccine center for both shots, there is NO WAY TO VERIFY their vaccine status. And no way to monitor their interactions and risk profile of a breakthrough infection (do they live with a large extended family, perhaps essential public facing workers? unvaccinated children attending school or daycare? unvaccinated adults?). Short of a live-in virtually lockeddown nanny, a nanny is hardly low risk.

Um. Okay. Then lock down and quit your job and see no one. Make a real bubble then. What are your expectations of life at this point in the pandemic TBH?

[Anonymous]

Have some empathy.