I seemed to have missed the memo to "marry rich"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why do you only know people like this? Maybe you need to broaden your social circle.

+1

Any rich people I know were together way before any money was made, and their parents are definitely not wealthy, either. They slogged along together for years, making sacrifices such as incredibly long commutes (two hours one way, each day, for years), old beater cheap cars, or tiny apartments, etc. - some people I know did all of that for years and years! No white kitchens, no big house additions, no fancy brand name of the moment cars, no private schools, none of that.

I think you need better friends, and better standards, OP. Ask yourself what you have done to better yourself? Are there better jobs, more hours, higher aspirations you should apply yourself to?

If you are a low drive person, you can't expect to have things handed to you, that is not how life works.

Well said, pp.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh look another hypergamy thread! Yeah all the cool girls are doing it!

+1, I swear these threads pop up every few months and it's annoying. FWIW, I'm a highly educated attorney and in my circle, there is literally only 1 SAHM married to a high earner. The rest are high earners themselves (i.e. biglaw partners), Feds, tenured law professors, or in house. In fact, at my 15 year law school reunion a few years ago, almost every single woman was still working, the vast majority in a full time capacity, and many of them outearned their husbands (including a few with SAHDs). I went to a "top" law school, so maybe that's why, but this phenomenon just hasn't played out in my friend circle. AFM, I work full time, make 300K+, and while my DH makes slightly more, I never even contemplated quitting to be a SAHM. Different strokes.

+1

Have goals for yourself that do not involve other people's money, OP. It will change your life for the absolute better.

[Anonymous]

No one from my circle has had wealfh handed to them. We all were middle class who worked hard to make it. Old cars, no eating out, crappy apartments, hand me down furniture and electronics—you name it. We married our equals and that has made us successful.

[Anonymous]

You don’t screen flrnhownmu

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why do you only know people like this? Maybe you need to broaden your social circle.

+1

Any rich people I know were together way before any money was made, and their parents are definitely not wealthy, either. They slogged along together for years, making sacrifices such as incredibly long commutes (two hours one way, each day, for years), old beater cheap cars, or tiny apartments, etc. - some people I know did all of that for years and years! No white kitchens, no big house additions, no fancy brand name of the moment cars, no private schools, none of that.

I think you need better friends, and better standards, OP. Ask yourself what you have done to better yourself? Are there better jobs, more hours, higher aspirations you should apply yourself to?

If you are a low drive person, you can't expect to have things handed to you, that is not how life works.

Well said, pp.

Thank you. People like OP literally turn my stomach. Thankfully, my friends feel the same way as I do. Shallow people are too busy counting other people's pennies and not spending time bettering themselves. There is a post like this every couple of weeks, and it makes women look bad.

I am telling my daughters and sons to make their own happiness - no on can make it for you! Clearly, OP has one goal only, and is scratching her head about why it is not working. Nothing stupefying about it. Just sickening.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No one from my circle has had wealfh handed to them. We all were middle class who worked hard to make it. Old cars, no eating out, crappy apartments, hand me down furniture and electronics—you name it. We married our equals and that has made us successful.

PP here who said the same thing. Yes! Old furniture, too - we still have some!

I don't spend time with people who must have this or must have that - they are immature and shallow.

Tell us OP, what do you bring to the table?

[Anonymous]

Me too. It's super frustrating.

[Anonymous]

You don’t screen for how much they make. You screen for how much they could make.

I know a guy that told his wife he was fine using his graduate degree to make the world better through environmental field research. 10 years later she is mad that he only make 45k.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I hear you. My family is not like this, but I have friends who are. Honestly, I don’t care who people marry or what the prioritize when they look for a mate. None of my business.

What is my business is when some of these women who married rich on purpose want to lecture me or anyone about feminism. Do what you want ladies, but hitching your wagon to some rich guy so that you don’t have to worry about money is not a feminist choice. It perpetuates a lot of structures that hold women back. Oh, and if that dude is white and you’re white and your kids are white… congrats, you are also helping perpetuate white supremacy. So maybe to e down the Facebook posts about what a devout feminist you are?

Gee, how racist are you?

I love it! You all keep finding ways to hate and blame white women!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I met DH in grad school. On paper, I probably had higher earning potential just based on prestige of schools. But life happened. I made some choices like not taking the low work-life balance job that paid extremely well, and I do feel that I have hit a glass ceiling professionally even in the roles I have taken. In addition, DH graduated about a year before me, which meant he established his career first, and I sort of needed to fit around that (sort of, because we could have made other choices, but that's how it worked out).

I wouldn't be surprised if a lot of well-educated, self-sufficient, feminist women are like me.

Same. And once our youngest got to first grade I took a $1M+/ yr job again from my $250k one so my husband wasn’t the only one contributing $1m+/yr. plus mine had more wealth creation, profit sharing carry and lower tax rate setup.

hahaha What are these 1mill jobs waiting around for people DCUM has truly jumped the shark

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I met DH in grad school. On paper, I probably had higher earning potential just based on prestige of schools. But life happened. I made some choices like not taking the low work-life balance job that paid extremely well, and I do feel that I have hit a glass ceiling professionally even in the roles I have taken. In addition, DH graduated about a year before me, which meant he established his career first, and I sort of needed to fit around that (sort of, because we could have made other choices, but that's how it worked out).

I wouldn't be surprised if a lot of well-educated, self-sufficient, feminist women are like me.

Same. And once our youngest got to first grade I took a $1M+/ yr job again from my $250k one so my husband wasn’t the only one contributing $1m+/yr. plus mine had more wealth creation, profit sharing carry and lower tax rate setup.

PP, what profession you are in?

fantasy writer

[Anonymous]

When women reach parity in terms of pay and treatment in the workplace, this will be a non-issue. In the meantime, it’s only smart to marry a high earner.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Every woman I know, in my immediate family and friends has married someone who makes substantially more than her. As a result, many years in, she lives a wonderful life where she is financially better off even if she is not working or a SAHM.

It can't really be a coincidence that...everyone I know did this. I would have had no idea how to, as I never screened dates for how much money they made or something.

Whatever happed to feminism and self-sufficiency?

I am a self sufficient feminist and my husband also does quite well. The fact is that two sources of income are generally better than one. Most of the couples I know are like this.

Same here. I married the guy I met in my graduate program. We were both dirt poor at that time. We are in our early 40s now and while not really rich, I think we are doing more than fine with our combined ~500k income. I would be miserable as a SAHM plus I hate to be dependent, so I really do not feel like I am missing out by not marrying someone who could make the 500k himself.

Please tell me you go around saying you're "not really rich" because your HHI is only $500K in real life.

[Anonymous]

I was earning 275k at 33, probably on my way to richness when out of no where he pursued me relentlessly, so I married him. He happened to be somewhat wealthy. Now he's my high maintenance wife™️. You may recognize me.

[Anonymous]

Low drive women marry low drive men.