I seemed to have missed the memo to "marry rich"

[Anonymous]

Just re-read my post....

to clarify, the point is that I didn't marry rich. I married my equal. During the course of our 20+ year marriage, "we" became rich

[Anonymous]

I’m a feminist who married a feminist and we are both well off. We also both work full time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Every woman I know, in my immediate family and friends has married someone who makes substantially more than her. As a result, many years in, she lives a wonderful life where she is financially better off even if she is not working or a SAHM.

It can't really be a coincidence that...everyone I know did this. I would have had no idea how to, as I never screened dates for how much money they made or something.

Whatever happed to feminism and self-sufficiency?

I am a self sufficient feminist and my husband also does quite well. The fact is that two sources of income are generally better than one. Most of the couples I know are like this.

Same here. I married the guy I met in my graduate program. We were both dirt poor at that time. We are in our early 40s now and while not really rich, I think we are doing more than fine with our combined ~500k income. I would be miserable as a SAHM plus I hate to be dependent, so I really do not feel like I am missing out by not marrying someone who could make the 500k himself.

My DH and I started dating freshman year of college so neither of us made anything at the time. We've grown together and helped push each other.

[Anonymous]

OP are you married? Are you merely jealous of these women or are you also resentful toward your spouse for not earning more money?

Either way, stop comparing! It's one of the easiest ways to start leading an unhappy life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just re-read my post....

to clarify, the point is that I didn't marry rich. I married my equal. During the course of our 20+ year marriage, "we" became rich

What is the issue? Would you really want it any other way? I wouldn't. I'm happy with my choices. (DH and I both have full time, demanding corporate careers). I hope others are happy with theirs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Every woman I know, in my immediate family and friends has married someone who makes substantially more than her. As a result, many years in, she lives a wonderful life where she is financially better off even if she is not working or a SAHM.

It can't really be a coincidence that...everyone I know did this. I would have had no idea how to, as I never screened dates for how much money they made or something.

Whatever happed to feminism and self-sufficiency?

You don’t mention if they work or have careers too? Did/ Do they?

[Anonymous]

I'm hardworking and married a hardworking man. We make equal amounts (150kish). I think key is that we both encourage each other and also allow the other person to take on challenges. I support DH on the home front when he travels. DH supports me when I work long hours during my busy time. I think without the mutual support we wouldn't have gone as far.

Also, didn't our generation get the memo on "no scrubs"? Who would want to marry a loser husband

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I met DH in grad school. On paper, I probably had higher earning potential just based on prestige of schools. But life happened. I made some choices like not taking the low work-life balance job that paid extremely well, and I do feel that I have hit a glass ceiling professionally even in the roles I have taken. In addition, DH graduated about a year before me, which meant he established his career first, and I sort of needed to fit around that (sort of, because we could have made other choices, but that's how it worked out).

I wouldn't be surprised if a lot of well-educated, self-sufficient, feminist women are like me.

Same. And once our youngest got to first grade I took a $1M+/ yr job again from my $250k one so my husband wasn’t the only one contributing $1m+/yr. plus mine had more wealth creation, profit sharing carry and lower tax rate setup.

[Anonymous]

Op, how are your oral skills? That's all it counts if you need to marry rich. Make sure the guy stays attracted to you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I met DH in grad school. On paper, I probably had higher earning potential just based on prestige of schools. But life happened. I made some choices like not taking the low work-life balance job that paid extremely well, and I do feel that I have hit a glass ceiling professionally even in the roles I have taken. In addition, DH graduated about a year before me, which meant he established his career first, and I sort of needed to fit around that (sort of, because we could have made other choices, but that's how it worked out).

I wouldn't be surprised if a lot of well-educated, self-sufficient, feminist women are like me.

Same. And once our youngest got to first grade I took a $1M+/ yr job again from my $250k one so my husband wasn’t the only one contributing $1m+/yr. plus mine had more wealth creation, profit sharing carry and lower tax rate setup.

PP, what profession you are in?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why do you only know people like this? Maybe you need to broaden your social circle.

+1

Any rich people I know were together way before any money was made, and their parents are definitely not wealthy, either. They slogged along together for years, making sacrifices such as incredibly long commutes (two hours one way, each day, for years), old beater cheap cars, or tiny apartments, etc. - some people I know did all of that for years and years! No white kitchens, no big house additions, no fancy brand name of the moment cars, no private schools, none of that.

I think you need better friends, and better standards, OP. Ask yourself what you have done to better yourself? Are there better jobs, more hours, higher aspirations you should apply yourself to?

If you are a low drive person, you can't expect to have things handed to you, that is not how life works.

[Anonymous]

Married rich guy in his early 40s when I was 25. No regrets. We have two kids and I never stopped working. If anything, it's helped my career because we could always afford high quality child care and I had no pressure to make money. The financial freedom allowed me to do prestigious Hill fellowship and now I'm loving my active career. Kids are in college now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I hear you. My family is not like this, but I have friends who are. Honestly, I don’t care who people marry or what the prioritize when they look for a mate. None of my business.

What is my business is when some of these women who married rich on purpose want to lecture me or anyone about feminism. Do what you want ladies, but hitching your wagon to some rich guy so that you don’t have to worry about money is not a feminist choice. It perpetuates a lot of structures that hold women back. Oh, and if that dude is white and you’re white and your kids are white… congrats, you are also helping perpetuate white supremacy. So maybe to e down the Facebook posts about what a devout feminist you are?

Gee, how racist are you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP are you married? Are you merely jealous of these women or are you also resentful toward your spouse for not earning more money?

Either way, stop comparing! It's one of the easiest ways to start leading an unhappy life.

+1

Nailed it.

Some of these women need to step up - I honestly don't know how their husbands do it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I met DH in grad school. On paper, I probably had higher earning potential just based on prestige of schools. But life happened. I made some choices like not taking the low work-life balance job that paid extremely well, and I do feel that I have hit a glass ceiling professionally even in the roles I have taken. In addition, DH graduated about a year before me, which meant he established his career first, and I sort of needed to fit around that (sort of, because we could have made other choices, but that's how it worked out).

I wouldn't be surprised if a lot of well-educated, self-sufficient, feminist women are like me.

Same. And once our youngest got to first grade I took a $1M+/ yr job again from my $250k one so my husband wasn’t the only one contributing $1m+/yr. plus mine had more wealth creation, profit sharing carry and lower tax rate setup.

PP, what profession you are in?

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