Anyone divorce and happily single forever?

[Anonymous]

I am very single, not even dating. Have been separated for 1.5 years now and divorce will be finalized anytime. I have a young child that lives with me full time and I just can't imagine finding the time to date, or really, even handle a first date just to get to know someone- at this point in my life, seems like a waste of time.

Spending time with my kid, friends, and family are much more valuable and enjoyable to me right now. So yes, I am very happy. I love that when I put my child to bed, it is WHATEVER I want to do!!! In my house! Maybe one day I'll want to share space again, but I am truly enjoying doing whatever and whenever, when I want...I will never underestimate this again!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Np here, asking in all sincerity: are none of you wanting the commitment of someone to care for you, and you for them, when you age or become ill?

I get that marriage has its ups and downs, but my family recently cared for my single sibling until they passed. Illness and death can be a time when you need support, and often only family will see you through it. Sometimes it’s not even caregiving, it’s someone to hold your hand when you are dying.

No way. I’m female, so more than likely I’ll be the one doing the caretaking for a sick husband. Not interested.

[Anonymous]

Also, marriage is no guarantee that your husband/wife will take care of you, or take GOOD care of you. And no one should assume their children will either.

NP here, who sees a loooooot of this in the hospital.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes. But I knew I didn’t want to remarry.
Marriage is only required/helpful if you have kids involved. I’m not having more biological kids and have no interest is step parenting.
Been divorced 8 years.

This is me, exactly. 8 yrs out, never want to resume the compromises that every marriage requires, both the little ones and the huge.

I am set in my ways, admittedly selfish in some respects. I hate to compromise on the things that are important to me, like where I live, how I celebrate key holidays, how discretionary $ is spent ....

I have an enviable relationship with xH of 17 yrs, his wife, their extended families. No bitterness that I can detect (although I do regret some things). My adult kid is happy and well adjusted now after the initial painful period. I feel incredibly lucky and happy about how beautifully things turned out post-divorce, and I would be an idiot to tempt fate knowing what I know now about myself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh, yes! I have been divorced for 9 years and I have a wonderful SO but we maintain our own residences but we are together 3-4 nights a week. I have my life, he has his and we have ours.

That sounds dreamy.

Signed,
Tired of cleaning up other people's poo

Me too. I fantasize about making decisions by myself and not having to compromise all the freaking time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Np here, asking in all sincerity: are none of you wanting the commitment of someone to care for you, and you for them, when you age or become ill?

I get that marriage has its ups and downs, but my family recently cared for my single sibling until they passed. Illness and death can be a time when you need support, and often only family will see you through it. Sometimes it’s not even caregiving, it’s someone to hold your hand when you are dying.

No. There is no guarantee of that in marriage. And one of many reasons I divorced is because there was no caring, no respect, no love. I remember thinking he was the last person I would want to visit me in the hospital if I was ill.

We all die alone. If I am ever ill, there are other people—friends and family—who I would love to say goodbye to. A husband? No thanks.

[Anonymous]

I am happily married in my 50s, but a lot of tough years of marriage is behind me.

I think now, with DH, it is like being with a boyfriend/companion and we can do fun things together. I personally won't want to divorce either because DH cooks and feeds me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am happily married in my 50s, but a lot of tough years of marriage is behind me.

I think now, with DH, it is like being with a boyfriend/companion and we can do fun things together. I personally won't want to divorce either because DH cooks and feeds me.

Haha damn good reason! Glad the tough years are behind you.

[Anonymous]

Np here, asking in all sincerity: are none of you wanting the commitment of someone to care for you, and you for them, when you age or become ill?

I am a man, and I have noticed a persistent theme on DCUM of women thinking men want and expect an old-age nurse. I don’t, and I don’t know any guys my age who do. I divorced a long time ago, and when I had a heart attack the recovery was “all me” - I lived by myself after I got home from the hospital, and went to rehab by myself. I don’t want a woman just to spoon feed me gruel in my dotage and change my Depends. Can’t imagine a woman wanting to sign up for that, either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I own a house, have a nice retirement and I was married a long time. I like to date but don’t want to remarry or live with someone. I’m done cooking and cleaning.

So you live in a dirty house and don't eat?

I have a cleaning service and I don’t cook.

[Anonymous]

A friend from college always maintained that getting married is for suckers. He is 49 never got married and had a series of GF's and as far as I can remember always in their 20s. Relationships last less than 2 years.

He says spending about $8K per year on GF's and get laid 200 times for $40 per lay. He tracks costs per GF and brags the best was someone who was costing him $11 per...

Anyway that guy went to the beach with another 20 something for the long weekend while my divorce is costing me pretty penny and not much action to show for it.

So maybe he was right all along...

Coming back to the point, yes I think I would never get married again. I can get a lot more action more easily when single.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A friend from college always maintained that getting married is for suckers. He is 49 never got married and had a series of GF's and as far as I can remember always in their 20s. Relationships last less than 2 years.

He says spending about $8K per year on GF's and get laid 200 times for $40 per lay. He tracks costs per GF and brags the best was someone who was costing him $11 per...

Anyway that guy went to the beach with another 20 something for the long weekend while my divorce is costing me pretty penny and not much action to show for it.

So maybe he was right all along...

Coming back to the point, yes I think I would never get married again. I can get a lot more action more easily when single.

ugh, your friend is gross.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A friend from college always maintained that getting married is for suckers. He is 49 never got married and had a series of GF's and as far as I can remember always in their 20s. Relationships last less than 2 years.

He says spending about $8K per year on GF's and get laid 200 times for $40 per lay. He tracks costs per GF and brags the best was someone who was costing him $11 per...

Anyway that guy went to the beach with another 20 something for the long weekend while my divorce is costing me pretty penny and not much action to show for it.

So maybe he was right all along...

Coming back to the point, yes I think I would never get married again. I can get a lot more action more easily when single.

Man here, I get this, although it is a crude way of looking at things. For both men and women, marriage is pointless if you aren't having kids. But sure, if you want to have an active and great sex life, stay single, and that goes for both sexes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Also, marriage is no guarantee that your husband/wife will take care of you, or take GOOD care of you. And no one should assume their children will either.

NP here, who sees a loooooot of this in the hospital.

+1

They might not GAF, for all you know. Seen this thousands of times.

[Anonymous]

My kids are college age, one graduating and one a sophomore. I think about divorce pretty often. Just not into him, and don’t think he cares that much either. Being single sounds great. No need to consult on anything and can make plans without worrying about his work life all the time. I am the bread winner and he feels like an anchor some times