Annoying vegan sibling

[Anonymous]

Sorry, I was starving and inhaled all the potatoes after being there for hours without eating (all the “heavy apps” were unsafe food choices for me). I was desperate. The veggie looked amazing but I was unable to see through my hunger. I’ll pack snacks next time.

[Anonymous]

Menu power struggles are weird. This isn’t about food at all.

[Anonymous]

I agree with OP. There are some people, not all, that use food choice as a means to get attention. My mother is like this. It has nothing to do with being vegetarian, vegan, or choosing to eat gluten free. It is about being the center of attention at every get together. 20 years ago my mom gave up eating gluten to lose weight. It worked so she kept it up. Fine, her choice. Up until that day she eat bread/pasta on a daily basis with absolutely no issue. We are Italian so when I say she ate pasta I mean we had pasta multiple times a week. After 3 years of not eating any gluten she decides to start eating it again. She ate a huge serving of spaghetti and meatballs with a side of garlic bread. She got sick and spent the evening in the bathroom. From this she decided that she has Celiac and that any trace amount of of gluten will send her to hospital. For the first 10 years she enjoyed complaining about how hard it was to give up gluten and how much she missed all of the foods she loved. Then gluten free products started to become available and she couldn't complain as much. Now it is not enough if there are gluten free options for her to eat at a party. She will refuse to eat anything because the baby carrots are on the same table as the cheese and crackers. She doesn't do this quietly. She makes sure everyone knows she can't eat anything.

This behavior has nothing to do with an eating choice and everything to do with seeking attention.

[Anonymous]

We recently switched to a vegan diet for health reasons and a chronic disease that keeps getting worse. It’s made me more empathetic to people with dietary restrictions. But I used to share similar views as a lot of these posters. Now I f I have guests, I like to ask if they have any restrictions and try to be accommodating.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I agree with OP. There are some people, not all, that use food choice as a means to get attention. My mother is like this. It has nothing to do with being vegetarian, vegan, or choosing to eat gluten free. It is about being the center of attention at every get together. 20 years ago my mom gave up eating gluten to lose weight. It worked so she kept it up. Fine, her choice. Up until that day she eat bread/pasta on a daily basis with absolutely no issue. We are Italian so when I say she ate pasta I mean we had pasta multiple times a week. After 3 years of not eating any gluten she decides to start eating it again. She ate a huge serving of spaghetti and meatballs with a side of garlic bread. She got sick and spent the evening in the bathroom. From this she decided that she has Celiac and that any trace amount of of gluten will send her to hospital. For the first 10 years she enjoyed complaining about how hard it was to give up gluten and how much she missed all of the foods she loved. Then gluten free products started to become available and she couldn't complain as much. Now it is not enough if there are gluten free options for her to eat at a party. She will refuse to eat anything because the baby carrots are on the same table as the cheese and crackers. She doesn't do this quietly. She makes sure everyone knows she can't eat anything.

This behavior has nothing to do with an eating choice and everything to do with seeking attention.

Is your MIL a twin to my FIL? OMG! When I married DH, I was told that FIL has celiac and hence all restaurant choices were up to FIL. I was young so I was like, whatever they are paying. For 20 years he claimed that he has celiac. DH thought his dad has celiac. There was a whole story about how he got so sick in his 30s and tests determined it was gluten and not some intolerance, full-on celiac. He also was intolerant to dairy and made a big fuss about that. Fast forward to 20 years later, and now he has been eating gluten for over 8 years. He plain told me that they were not sure it was gluten or celiac and that he just likes to lie! He eats at Italian places and spaghetti and meatballs is his favorite, Garlic Knot is on his weekly rotation. Philly cheesesteak sandwiches twice per week. NOnstop deserts from some fancy bakery. All with dairy and gluten! Now, he says gluten is fine and doesn't bother him. Bundt cakes all the way every week now. He said he made it up! He did have a digestive issue but it was never diagnosed as anything.
Oh, and he has self-diagnosed lactose intolerance. I have a full-on, blood work confirmed dairy allergy. That is nothing he says to me, he has dealt with the same his whole life! Not a big deal at all. So, when I have a legit diagnosis of complete dairy allergy, which btw, is much, much different than lactose intolerance, it is not a big deal? I choke when accidentally eating any kind of dairy. Effing arsehole. I can see many are just like him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sorry, I was starving and inhaled all the potatoes after being there for hours without eating (all the “heavy apps” were unsafe food choices for me). I was desperate. The veggie looked amazing but I was unable to see through my hunger. I’ll pack snacks next time.

Guess you were not that badly starving if you bypassed carrots and broccoli and green beans, and sweet potatoes. What a funny selective hunger and starvation mode you go in!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m vegan. I know many of us are annoying, but I’m kind of horrified at the suggestions to serve nothing but broccoli or to cook things in bacon. I have had a couple friends who get extremely sick from eating meat, and adding things to people’s food is extremely unethical. How would you feel if someone intentionally fed you a food you found revolting without your consent? What if it was something you were allergic to and they wanted to prove a point that you were just being dramatic?

Many vegans get excited when they first start, as do many people who starts other diets, such as paleo, keto, weight watchers, or even just calorie restriction. Many have also struggled with lifelong disordered eating and need support, not criticism. Plus most vegans get into the diet for animal welfare reasons, which is a cause many are passionate about.

And often times there really isn’t anything for us to eat. Vegetarian is not vegan, so something with cheese or eggs doesn’t really help me. Most of the time at social gatherings, I’ll have nothing to eat but some vegetables, which is maybe 100 calories and not enough for fill me up. And equally as annoying are the people who mock me or try to cajole me into eating meat.

Can’t you just ignore the FB posts, like all of us have to do with every annoying political FB post we see? Can you offer sibling support, too? It’s not that hard to pick up a pack of vegan burgers and some vegan cheese for a cookout.

Vegans are definitely complicit in animal cruelty, and more importantly, given the working conditions for the HUMAN BEINGS that help grow and produce your food, your diet is not cruelty free whatsoever (unless you produce all your own food).
And FYI, millions of animals die also in the industrial agriculture process...that's why vegans holier than though attitude is always amusing to me.

*thou

The vegans I know are also concerned about human rights. And I never get people who expect others who take up a cause to be perfect in every other respect- it’s better than doing nothing. Like someone who ‘calls out’ a non meat eater for occasionally having an animal product....every little bit helps, right?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m vegan. I know many of us are annoying, but I’m kind of horrified at the suggestions to serve nothing but broccoli or to cook things in bacon. I have had a couple friends who get extremely sick from eating meat, and adding things to people’s food is extremely unethical. How would you feel if someone intentionally fed you a food you found revolting without your consent? What if it was something you were allergic to and they wanted to prove a point that you were just being dramatic?

Many vegans get excited when they first start, as do many people who starts other diets, such as paleo, keto, weight watchers, or even just calorie restriction. Many have also struggled with lifelong disordered eating and need support, not criticism. Plus most vegans get into the diet for animal welfare reasons, which is a cause many are passionate about.

And often times there really isn’t anything for us to eat. Vegetarian is not vegan, so something with cheese or eggs doesn’t really help me. Most of the time at social gatherings, I’ll have nothing to eat but some vegetables, which is maybe 100 calories and not enough for fill me up. And equally as annoying are the people who mock me or try to cajole me into eating meat.

Can’t you just ignore the FB posts, like all of us have to do with every annoying political FB post we see? Can you offer sibling support, too? It’s not that hard to pick up a pack of vegan burgers and some vegan cheese for a cookout.

Casual social events can you bring your own food? In general I think if somebody has an extremely restrictive diet they also have to advocate for themselves.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry, I was starving and inhaled all the potatoes after being there for hours without eating (all the “heavy apps” were unsafe food choices for me). I was desperate. The veggie looked amazing but I was unable to see through my hunger. I’ll pack snacks next time.

Guess you were not that badly starving if you bypassed carrots and broccoli and green beans, and sweet potatoes. What a funny selective hunger and starvation mode you go in!

Did you have a main dish for this person or did you decide they can make do on sides and crudités? A guest is a guest, even if you project an arch behavior onto them. If you cannot provide a proper complete meal, let them know ahead to bring something or where they can order in. The need to control is rife in this family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry, I was starving and inhaled all the potatoes after being there for hours without eating (all the “heavy apps” were unsafe food choices for me). I was desperate. The veggie looked amazing but I was unable to see through my hunger. I’ll pack snacks next time.

Guess you were not that badly starving if you bypassed carrots and broccoli and green beans, and sweet potatoes. What a funny selective hunger and starvation mode you go in!

I'm vegan, and when I'm starving....nope, not doing broccoli and carrots. Gimme French fries and a greasy veggie burger.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We recently switched to a vegan diet for health reasons and a chronic disease that keeps getting worse. It’s made me more empathetic to people with dietary restrictions. But I used to share similar views as a lot of these posters. Now I f I have guests, I like to ask if they have any restrictions and try to be accommodating.

Perspective matters. Similar experiences here. I’m sorry you had to find out the more difficult way.

[Anonymous]

Thanks for the lettuce sandwich with lettuce and mustard, sis. I best go take a nap. Stuffed. Phew.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thanks for the lettuce sandwich with lettuce and mustard, sis. I best go take a nap. Stuffed. Phew.

😆 I literally got one of those once. A "wrap", wrapped with lettuce (not an actual wrap), stuffed with lettuce and a small scoop of canned black beans.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I always make one thing that is just a plant-based product with nothing on it -- for the inevitable guest who won't eat glutendairymeatnitratescarbs or whatever. If they ask if its organic. Yea, sure, it's carbon based.

I had a friend who came for Thanksgiving and ate a plate of steamed broccoli. Brava! More turkey and stuffing for me.

Wow. That’s some hospitality!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry, I was starving and inhaled all the potatoes after being there for hours without eating (all the “heavy apps” were unsafe food choices for me). I was desperate. The veggie looked amazing but I was unable to see through my hunger. I’ll pack snacks next time.

Guess you were not that badly starving if you bypassed carrots and broccoli and green beans, and sweet potatoes. What a funny selective hunger and starvation mode you go in!

Did you have a main dish for this person or did you decide they can make do on sides and crudités? A guest is a guest, even if you project an arch behavior onto them. If you cannot provide a proper complete meal, let them know ahead to bring something or where they can order in. The need to control is rife in this family.

Oh, dear, what is a main dish for vegans?? What an awful host I must have been to have pasta, and veggies, and salad, and was I missing tofu? What is the accepted list of 200 dishes all good hosts must have for vegan guests?