SIL keeps ruining plans

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Bring food for the kids! That way, if dinner is late, you can feed them, and of course you're free to bring them home and put them to bed on your schedule. Done.

This

[Anonymous]

BIL1 actually has an obligation to say, "I have plans". And stick to the original plan. There has to be that push-back.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t u dear stand how the parent of two young kids isn’t packing snacks. It’s a joke between DH and I how many snacks I pack even to go to the store, but my kid has never had a meltdown over being hungry, even travelling overseas. She doesn’t always need a snack, but... oh wait. She’s 4. Yes, she always needs a snack. Snacks are the special glue that holds them together to interesting things.

5 in insanely early for adults to have dinner. I could easily see where if things were busy during the day, and people got chatting, how 5 is a tough time to get dinner together. I’m actually assuming the grownups had already decided to nix 5pm dinner but didn’t tell you,

If BIL wanted to visit you, he would. He’s not staying with you, and he’s also not coming to visit you on his own. I’m assuming he has his car, or knows how to use Uber? He’s not a prisoner. Maybe you’re a little too kid centric or something right now and he’s not feeling it.

BIL1, BIL2 and SIL do not have cars. They’re millionaires, but hate driving. We pick up BIL1 when he comes out here. He likes the kids, but can’t stand SIL. He stays with them because they have empty bedrooms and live right by the subway.

If BIL1 is a millionaire he can manage getting a car to visit you on his own time. Step back and let your DH handle this.

Yep. BIL1 is a grown-up. If he disliked SIL he could stay in a hotel or rent a car or take a taxi. He could easily say "Gosh, SIL and BIL2, I would love to see kiddie's rooms and brother's new TV (or whatever)." He doesn't want to come to your house or he would make it happen.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is for your husband and his brother to work out. Your husband can have a frank conversation with BIL and say, we want to see you without the others. BIL is staying in their house. He might be uncomfortable telling them that he wants to only do something with your family.

+10000
THIS! OP- You conflated the problem by throwing in the nonsense about the dinner being served at 6:30. You’re making the SIL the villain here when there are other adults that can make their preferences known.

[Anonymous]

Bla, bla, bla, I do not believe a word this op posted.

[Anonymous]

Yeah there is no reason BIL doesn’t hop in an uber or rent a car.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:BIL1 actually has an obligation to say, "I have plans". And stick to the original plan. There has to be that push-back.

Agreed. And the plan can be that he is going to spend the night at his other brother's house with the kids, for one night of the trip. He does not need a subway in the middle of the night, OP. Do you have somewhere for him to sleep?

[Anonymous]

OP here. BIL1 stood up to SIL and is coming to our house Monday. He’s taking the subway out and DH will drive him back. Our family is too cheap to use Uber or rent cars.

I generally try to keep my kids away from SIL since she spread nasty rumors about them. I do usually keep snacks for the kids, but didn’t have them last week when we were there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Bring food for the kids! That way, if dinner is late, you can feed them, and of course you're free to bring them home and put them to bed on your schedule. Done.

This. Easy and obvious solution.

OP is a troublemaker putting this on her SIL when she really ought to be providing food for her own kids. Why would SIL not feed the kids? It's not her responsibility.

????!!!!!! When someone invites your family to their home for dinner, it is customary to feed all the guests no matter their age. Parents shouldn’t need to bring food with them except the older infant / toddler months when the kid is eating purees and baby food.

This just isn't true or practical when you have kids who need to eat on a schedule or melt down and that schedule is not the same as the host. Lots of kids are like this. You have to feed them before the blood sugar melt down, and then they can sit at the table, but they probably won't eat again. Normally, one would decline the invite with kids like that, but OP's situation doesn't call for that; it's family, not the Queen.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t u dear stand how the parent of two young kids isn’t packing snacks. It’s a joke between DH and I how many snacks I pack even to go to the store, but my kid has never had a meltdown over being hungry, even travelling overseas. She doesn’t always need a snack, but... oh wait. She’s 4. Yes, she always needs a snack. Snacks are the special glue that holds them together to interesting things.

5 in insanely early for adults to have dinner. I could easily see where if things were busy during the day, and people got chatting, how 5 is a tough time to get dinner together. I’m actually assuming the grownups had already decided to nix 5pm dinner but didn’t tell you,

If BIL wanted to visit you, he would. He’s not staying with you, and he’s also not coming to visit you on his own. I’m assuming he has his car, or knows how to use Uber? He’s not a prisoner. Maybe you’re a little too kid centric or something right now and he’s not feeling it.

BIL1, BIL2 and SIL do not have cars. They’re millionaires, but hate driving. We pick up BIL1 when he comes out here. He likes the kids, but can’t stand SIL. He stays with them because they have empty bedrooms and live right by the subway.

If BIL1 is a millionaire he can manage getting a car to visit you on his own time. Step back and let your DH handle this.

Yep. BIL1 is a grown-up. If he disliked SIL he could stay in a hotel or rent a car or take a taxi. He could easily say "Gosh, SIL and BIL2, I would love to see kiddie's rooms and brother's new TV (or whatever)." He doesn't want to come to your house or he would make it happen.

What is your obsession wih uncle wanting to see the kids' rooms? What the hell?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. BIL1 stood up to SIL and is coming to our house Monday. He’s taking the subway out and DH will drive him back. Our family is too cheap to use Uber or rent cars.

I generally try to keep my kids away from SIL since she spread nasty rumors about them. I do usually keep snacks for the kids, but didn’t have them last week when we were there.

Sure OP. Troll better next time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t u dear stand how the parent of two young kids isn’t packing snacks. It’s a joke between DH and I how many snacks I pack even to go to the store, but my kid has never had a meltdown over being hungry, even travelling overseas. She doesn’t always need a snack, but... oh wait. She’s 4. Yes, she always needs a snack. Snacks are the special glue that holds them together to interesting things.

5 in insanely early for adults to have dinner. I could easily see where if things were busy during the day, and people got chatting, how 5 is a tough time to get dinner together. I’m actually assuming the grownups had already decided to nix 5pm dinner but didn’t tell you,

If BIL wanted to visit you, he would. He’s not staying with you, and he’s also not coming to visit you on his own. I’m assuming he has his car, or knows how to use Uber? He’s not a prisoner. Maybe you’re a little too kid centric or something right now and he’s not feeling it.

BIL1, BIL2 and SIL do not have cars. They’re millionaires, but hate driving. We pick up BIL1 when he comes out here. He likes the kids, but can’t stand SIL. He stays with them because they have empty bedrooms and live right by the subway.

I call TROLL. You've received a lot of good suggestions and you've come up with excuses for every single one. In any event, the "millionaire" BIL 1 can surely get an Uber if he wants to get from SIL's house to your house. Although I agree with another poster that it would be rude for you to invite him only.

Exactly. Wasting everyone's time with this nonsense.

[Anonymous]

i smell 3-sum …

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Bring food for the kids! That way, if dinner is late, you can feed them, and of course you're free to bring them home and put them to bed on your schedule. Done.

This. Easy and obvious solution.

OP is a troublemaker putting this on her SIL when she really ought to be providing food for her own kids. Why would SIL not feed the kids? It's not her responsibility.

This is ridiculous. SIL is undermining here. OP is trying to have the uncle over to her house and SIL keeps overstepping. For whatever reason, this keeps being acceptable to DH. So OP should bring food to feed her kids early. But no way are the kids getting good one on one with the uncle in this situation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. BIL1 stood up to SIL and is coming to our house Monday. He’s taking the subway out and DH will drive him back. Our family is too cheap to use Uber or rent cars.

I generally try to keep my kids away from SIL since she spread nasty rumors about them. I do usually keep snacks for the kids, but didn’t have them last week when we were there.

Sure OP. Troll better next time.

x1000