How long before you introduce gf/bf to kids?

[Anonymous]

Celebrities are self-obsessed egomaniacs. You should never look to them to figure out how to treat your children or really anyone else.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it's ok to introduce early but not necessarily have them spend a lot of time together. The point is that they don't get attached if it might not work out. Right?

My daughter has met most of the people in my social circle, many of whom are guys. So I will let her meet guys I am dating in casual circumstances with a bunch of folks around. I'm dating someone now, and she has met him twice in passing. If we don't work out, he is nothing more to her than one of my friends. She has a dad. She's happy for me to be dating, though, because I am happy. Dad and I split when I was pregnant, so she has never known us as a couple.

This is the best advice you have gotten. It’s not about introduction, it’s about attachment.

I always love this line.

Sure, your daughter is happy with you dating around, because you are so happy. That's all that matters, right PP?

Lol! this is not a good value to give to your child that everything is focused on dating. You don't need someone else to make you happy. If that's the case then your daughter would always be looking or a man to fulfill that role of happiness for her. Not good.

[Anonymous]

11:49- this is literally the first person I have dated in maybe five years. So "dating around" is not actually happening. We are serious, and monogamous. My daughter has met him in passing. She is happy that I am happy - I am a perfectly capable single parent with a fantastic social life. I also have a great relationship with her dad, my coparent. We have modeled good coparent behavior for her. But at some point I would like her to see either or both of her parents in functioning relationships. Which means introducing her to someone at some point. The whole six month thing is arbitrary. I would not have some casual boyfriend sleep over or give him access to my child. Some of you all really need to stop with the judgment of single parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Celebrities are self-obsessed egomaniacs. You should never look to them to figure out how to treat your children or really anyone else.

Solid advice

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:11:49- this is literally the first person I have dated in maybe five years. So "dating around" is not actually happening. We are serious, and monogamous. My daughter has met him in passing. She is happy that I am happy - I am a perfectly capable single parent with a fantastic social life. I also have a great relationship with her dad, my coparent. We have modeled good coparent behavior for her. But at some point I would like her to see either or both of her parents in functioning relationships. Which means introducing her to someone at some point. The whole six month thing is arbitrary. I would not have some casual boyfriend sleep over or give him access to my child. Some of you all really need to stop with the judgment of single parents.

My question is why do you want or need your daughter to meet these men?

I chose to have my daughter meet my now husband because I saw him as someone I wanted to have in my life permanently and needed to know how he was with the person who was going to be in my life permanently.
6 months may seem arbitrary to you but it is a pretty good basiune to start feeling someone out as a person.

Dating when you have a kid is different than when you don't you can't afford to be carefree and hope for the best you can't be too cautious.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:11:49- this is literally the first person I have dated in maybe five years. So "dating around" is not actually happening. We are serious, and monogamous. My daughter has met him in passing. She is happy that I am happy - I am a perfectly capable single parent with a fantastic social life. I also have a great relationship with her dad, my coparent. We have modeled good coparent behavior for her. But at some point I would like her to see either or both of her parents in functioning relationships. Which means introducing her to someone at some point. The whole six month thing is arbitrary. I would not have some casual boyfriend sleep over or give him access to my child. Some of you all really need to stop with the judgment of single parents.

My question is why do you want or need your daughter to meet these men?

I chose to have my daughter meet my now husband because I saw him as someone I wanted to have in my life permanently and needed to know how he was with the person who was going to be in my life permanently.
6 months may seem arbitrary to you but it is a pretty good basiune to start feeling someone out as a person.

Dating when you have a kid is different than when you don't you can't afford to be carefree and hope for the best you can't be too cautious.

This. Just date when your kid is with your ExH. It sounds like you're bringing your kid along to events that are for adults, not families. Not a good idea.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

This. Just date when your kid is with your ExH. It sounds like you're bringing your kid along to events that are for adults, not families. Not a good idea.

Huh? Not sure where you got that from, but regardless I think PP seems to know what she's doing. I don't think there needs to be any minimum waiting period. I'm a single mom, and while I'm not in a hurry for my kids to meet my boyfriend, I don't think it has to be any different from my kids meeting any other adult who's important to me. We're all responsible adults here. And like PP, I ultimately want the chance to model (and enjoy) a healthy relationship.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

This. Just date when your kid is with your ExH. It sounds like you're bringing your kid along to events that are for adults, not families. Not a good idea.

Huh? Not sure where you got that from, but regardless I think PP seems to know what she's doing. I don't think there needs to be any minimum waiting period. I'm a single mom, and while I'm not in a hurry for my kids to meet my boyfriend, I don't think it has to be any different from my kids meeting any other adult who's important to me. We're all responsible adults here. And like PP, I ultimately want the chance to model (and enjoy) a healthy relationship.

I'm not suggesting that the pp introduced a serious bf to her daughter too soon. In fact, I think she would have to introduce them to see how he is with her kid (and how she is with his kids) before she could get too serious about him.

The part that concerns me is that she indicated that she introduces her daughter to guys she's casually dating during social events and frequently brings her daughter to social events with her friends. It sounds like these social outings are for grown ups, not a bunch of families getting together. That's not ok.