Catcalls

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It is so disturbing that some men think this is ok. I was just speaking with my husband about all the harassment women experience. He actually said "but nothing happened to you". Then I proceeded to list so many I have experience in my life: bra snapping, butt grabbing, breast grabbing, unwelcomed attempts at kissing me, cat calling, misogynistic comments, etc, etc, etc. And I told him, I still get cat called today, as an almost 40-year-old mother of 3. Then he said, I've never heard anyone cat call you. Seriously, so dense. I told him it doesn't happen when I am with him, it is when I am alone or with female friends and specially when I run. I run with my friend 3x a week, and we wear loose t-shirts to cover ourselves, and we get cat-called just about every time, it is so uncomfortable. We would love to wear a sports bra for our top when it is super hot, like men who run topless, but we would never dream of it because so many men a gross.

What? Where is this?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You teach them to ignore it and learn how to size up the cat callers, trust their guts if it seems like it could escalate, and how to get themselves to safety. When my teen DD rode the public bus home from school, we had lots of discussions about moving to sit behind the driver— or— even better— near no-nonsense looking grandmas, if they ever felt harrassed.

NP. Good advice. This is a teachable moment, sad but true.

"Situational awareness" is vital for girls (and boys) to learn. Just ducking their heads and trying not to look at catcallers feels right to do, but they need to, as the PP says, learn to size people up and get away from ANY uncomfortable situation. Engaging verbally is SO tempting and would feel good for a second but is definitely seen as encouragement by these creeps.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is so disturbing that some men think this is ok. I was just speaking with my husband about all the harassment women experience. He actually said "but nothing happened to you". Then I proceeded to list so many I have experience in my life: bra snapping, butt grabbing, breast grabbing, unwelcomed attempts at kissing me, cat calling, misogynistic comments, etc, etc, etc. And I told him, I still get cat called today, as an almost 40-year-old mother of 3. Then he said, I've never heard anyone cat call you. Seriously, so dense. I told him it doesn't happen when I am with him, it is when I am alone or with female friends and specially when I run. I run with my friend 3x a week, and we wear loose t-shirts to cover ourselves, and we get cat-called just about every time, it is so uncomfortable. We would love to wear a sports bra for our top when it is super hot, like men who run topless, but we would never dream of it because so many men a gross.

My oldest, an avid runner, stopped running outdoors around our neighborhood because of this. Now she usually drives to a park and runs on a trail or just uses the treadmill. It is so frustrating that disgusting men are keeping her from running around her own neighborhood. And by the way, we live in a really nice neighborhood, but once you hit a main road the creeps appear.

DP. I'm so sorry to hear both these posts. Just wanted to note: If you/your oldest are getting catcalled while running past (for instance) a specific place each time -- in other words, if it seems like it's workers at a specific location, construction site, business, whatever -- I would let the proprietors of the business know. In our smallish suburb, one friend of mine let the local cops know and the cops sent an officer to talk to the manager of a construction company with this problem. The catcalling stopped at least for a while.

This doesn't affect true jerks or those randomly driving around catcalling out of car windows, but where it's going on outside a business, their management ought to know.