Private school thoughts for a kid with anxiety and other issues?

[Anonymous]

Children with developmental issues, such as ADHD and AS, will always have a harder time at school where the demands are greater. They probably do best in a one on one interview, which is why an evaluation that only involves the clinician and the child is going to be unreliable. Our developmental ped always does a classroom visit before making a diagnosis. At the very least, the clinician must speak with the teachers or give them some forms to fill out.

Which is all to say that you should take it very seriously that the teachers are concerned, and that they are more concerned than others who have worked with your daughter. At the very least, you should get another opinion. My son did a full neuropsych workup and we were told there was nothing wrong with him. He interacted with the neuropsych and behaved just fine. It was the subsequent evaluation by the developmental ped who also observed him at school who diagnosed Aspergers and ADHD. Its been five years and he is doing very well, but it has also become very, very clear that he does have both these disorders.

[Anonymous]

McLean is very unpredictable about who they accept.
They are still struggling with their identity. I believe they are trying to shed the reputation of being a school for SN kiddos.

[Anonymous]

You can forget Flint Hill, even if your child is smart. Flint Hill seems to be cleaning house this year as I know many children with mild issues, many of them pretty bright, that are getting kicked out. They've also hired a new director of their learning / differentiation department, maybe to make sure they can bring their existing LD kids up to speed.
To fill in the vacancies now they may accept your child but there's a good chance they may end up counseling you out and you'll be looking for another school come April.

[Anonymous]

OP here. Odd that someone resurrected this thread after several months. Anyhoo....things are not any better at school but I am well and truly convinced now that it is the teacher that is the problem. Other kids are having (different) issues with him and I have spoken with other parents who are also concerned.

Which is all to say that you should take it very seriously that the teachers are concerned, and that they are more concerned than others who have worked with your daughter. At the very least, you should get another opinion. My son did a full neuropsych workup and we were told there was nothing wrong with him. He interacted with the neuropsych and behaved just fine. It was the subsequent evaluation by the developmental ped who also observed him at school who diagnosed Aspergers and ADHD. Its been five years and he is doing very well, but it has also become very, very clear that he does have both these disorders.

Seriously, how often does one have to say in a thread that she has already had a full neuropsych eval? Why should I trust a teacher with ZERO professional training in diagnosing special needs vs those whose professional training is in diagnosing special needs and who sees children with ADHD and Asperger's every day? We are open to a new evaluation (and the therapist suggested it if we feel like there are new concerns next year or her current issues get worse). But it is only this teacher, this year who has ever mentioned Asperger's and I frankly wouldn't believe anything this man told me. Since my original post we have gotten her a 504 plan at school and it was very clear in the 504 meeting that no one else at the school has the ADHD or Asperger's concern at the school except this teacher. It was also quite clear that he has no understanding of anxiety or what it means. Frankly, I am just done with him and am focusing on damage control for next year at this point.

FWIW, for the person who asked for an update, we have decided to switch her to the GT Center next year. DD now thinks this is a good idea also (we worked on overcoming her discomfort with the new school). I went and spoke to the principal there about her needs and they think she would do fine there and they seem more able to meet her needs there. Before we pull out for private, we will give this a chance. The CBT therapy has been very, very helpful. She now has tools that she is able to use and they are in her 504 plan and (in theory) the teacher is supposed to help her use them. The reality though is that he thinks he knows best and that he can "fix" her by telling her to shape up. Nice.

[Anonymous]

I'm the PP who you seem offended by and i didn't realize this was an old thread. I did see your DC had a full neuropsych evaluation, that was specifically what I was referring to when I wrote about the differences between a one on one interaction and the classroom.

Of course it is perfectly possible that the teacher was way off base. A teacher can't diagnose any disorder and in your case you've satisfied yourself that its the teacher's problem. Great. I just wanted to flag (obviously for others, not you) that parents should at least consider the red flags raised by teachers. I have one child with ADHD and another with both AS and ADHD and in both cases -- two very high functioning kids -- it was problems at school that led to our evaluations.

[Anonymous]

PP, OP here. Sorry I overreacted earlier. This thread hit me again at a bad time. I have a meeting today with the principal about the teacher. He is telling her that she will never have any friends (in those exact words) and she is convinced that no one will ever like her. I am feeling so frustated since nothing has seemed to help with him this year. Not me giving him feedback (and I also tried totally backing off for about 6 months and that was a disaster), not the therapist giving him feedback, not the counselor giving him feedback, he won't use the accommodations listed in her 504, etc. I have a lot more clarity now that the problem really is him and not my DD. Not that she does not have issues, but prior to this year none of her teachers thought it was that big of a concern.

Anyway, sorry I overreacted. I think the guidance to seek further evaluation is often a good one, especially in a younger child.

[Anonymous]

Wait a minute . . . he teacher is telling your daughter she will never have friends? Oh wow, thats just terrible, I;m sorry.

I've lost track of where you are in the school discussion, but my DS goes to McLean and they not only do a fabulous job of teaching to each child's needs but they also, often have to clean up after school that have done damage to children's self-esteem. They're good at that as well.

[Anonymous]

I hope your meeting goes well today. Let us know the outcome.

[Anonymous]

NP here. OP, Hope you are well. We've had quite rough school year as well. I have to second a PP that McLean is somewhat of an acceptance unknown. Our DS with ADHD and high scores was rejected. DS's friend with ok scores and no "issues" was accepted. Obviously, anything you think might be a good fit, like the GT center, is worth a try/application. Good luck next year!

[Anonymous]

Thanks all. Meeting with the principal went well. She was truly appalled although I honestly don't expect any changes, but it was soooooo cathartic to get it all out. Here's hoping the GT Center is a better fit next year.

[Anonymous]

Re Flint Hill: They have a new learning center director because the old one is leaving to become head of school at Auburn. But my child is one of those who has been counseled out. I wish there were an easy way to link up with those others who have been and compare notes. (Not that there is any real point to that; just curiosity.) Do you know what grades are mostly affected?

I do agree that Flint Hill is not a place for anyone with any kind of issue that might look behavioral. I like the school in many ways, and am sad to be leaving, but it does seem to prefer a happy, extroverted type with average to somewhat-above-average intelligence. Not quirky, not gifted, and definitely not anywhere on the spectrum.

[Anonymous]

Just wanted to resurrect this old thread. OP, if you are there, how is your daughter doing? What Center did you transfer to? I am struggling right now myself and would love to hear from you with.

[Anonymous]

OP here. I am VERY happy to report that my DD is doing incredibly well at the center. She has two teachers this year who really get her and are working with her. She no longer exhibits the more problematic behaviors (chewing, writing on herself, crying at school). Things are also calmer at home. When we had the 504 meeting in the fall, her teachers this year could not have been more different from last year. They were eager to help, had lots of good ideas and were very in tune with her needs. She has made several new friends. Her teachers this year were very surprised when I mentioned that her teacher last year suggested ADHD and Aspergers. It's a complete turn around from the horror of last year. She is also doing the social skills class and I think that has been very helpful for her.

PP, our center is Mantua and I could not be happier there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I am VERY happy to report that my DD is doing incredibly well at the center. She has two teachers this year who really get her and are working with her. She no longer exhibits the more problematic behaviors (chewing, writing on herself, crying at school). Things are also calmer at home. When we had the 504 meeting in the fall, her teachers this year could not have been more different from last year. They were eager to help, had lots of good ideas and were very in tune with her needs. She has made several new friends. Her teachers this year were very surprised when I mentioned that her teacher last year suggested ADHD and Aspergers. It's a complete turn around from the horror of last year. She is also doing the social skills class and I think that has been very helpful for her.

PP, our center is Mantua and I could not be happier there.

What a fabulous update! I have heard good things about Mantua's AAP Center and it is nice to see that your daughter is doing so much better.